I want to cry, But I can't

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There alot of things wrong with my life at the moment. I am currently placed in a class with much lower functioning kids and some kids that were kept back because I have Asperger's Syndrome. I feel like I judged on every little thing, I am in high school and I have to ride the short bus or "ret*d Rocket" everyday to my high school because my mom thinks something bad might happen to me If I took public transportation. I really don't have any friends in my class except one his name is Blanchard. He is funny and I feel really happy whenever I am around him the only thing is he doesnt like to get serious and talk about some things. I have some people I talk to in homeroom which is full of all the normal kids, but I feel like a lot of people judge me there or kinda laugh about my attepts of social interaction behind my back. Yesterday I took a walk in the forest reservation near where I lived I was holding a stick the whole time. Dragging it Then I kinda just sat down near this little slow flowing river for half an hour I was sitting there thinking. It really is hard to be a boy I have to put a mask on everyday and not show my emotions openly and if I do I have to "man up" or "not be a p****". I feel so pathedic when I am greatful for the social interaction I get and when I say hi to a girl and she says hi back.

I'm really sorry to hear you are feeling bad. I think I also get what you are saying about crying.
It isn't right that people should have to 'put a mask on' all the time. This might be more common for boys, but I don't think it always is. Don't think it makes sense at all.
Hope you don't think you have to hide things here, maybe you can keep showing emotions on WP, at least until you can find someone understanding, or some other way of expressing emotions outside?
You aren't pathetic, at least I don't think so.