Asperger's and Sexual addiction

Post Reply New Topic

Hi everyone,

I know that addictions and asperger's are not common, but I have been struggling with sexual addiction (mostly internet pornography addiction) since about the age of 17. I didn't realized that I had a problem until I was about 26-27 when I would sometimes spend $200 per month for paid websites and sex webcam chats. I'm 32 now and I've tried to cut down numerous times, but no success. I usually go through cycles where I would get the urge to use the webcam chats, go on the chats, spend up to 100 in a month, regret it and then cancel the membership.

I have tried going to SAA (Sexaholics anonymous), but I can't get past the higher power and I usually can't connect with the members...Usually it is a bunch of older males that used porn in the past but did not use the internet porn.

Is there anyone who has been diagnosed with asperger's and has gone through this? Is there a group support like SA but is more for people who are atheist or who are on the spectrum themselves.

Thanks,
Brent

It sounds like porn is your special interest which would make it almost impossible to cut back on without feeling anxiety and upset.

The only remedy I know for this type of situation is
a) try and get another special interest
b) identify aspects of this porn addiction activity that are negative, such as the expense and whatever else you truly dislike about it.
c) make it a habit to reduce the amount of time you spend on this activity by small incremental amounts, such as 20 minutes less a week or something, so that it won't feel like you are giving up pleasurable time but over period of time you will find you are spending less and less time on it.

Good luck

Leaf plant, I also use porn as a substitute for a real relationship. I haven't been in that many successful relationships and my last girlfriend I had was about 7 years ago. I am scared to get one, because of fear of rejection.

I have also spent a lot of time and money on porn.  I'm going to recommend more of a zen approach.

For example, if an aspect of someone's religion is that they can't eat pork, you see how that very prohibition can make it more exciting?

Or, if someone listens to an old-line preacher just rail and rail against the evils of card playing, that can make what is actually a rather boring activity sound exciting.

Plus, if your life is filled with seriousness snd tasks and 'shoulds,' that can make any bust out appealing.  So, on this approach, add free positives to your life.  And be open to other adventures, maybe politics, maybe activism, maybe paramedics, etc.

I began buying pornographic magazines on my own pretty much at age 17.  Some convenience stores wouldn't sell them to me, but most would.  In my 20s, I studied philosophy, specifically theories of ethics such as utilitarianism and Kantianism.  It was the first academic field I felt I was really good at.  At the same time, I kept reading pornography, and perhaps extended my intended in erotic spanking snd dominance ad submission.  Ouch.  You see how that's a big conflict.  And I felt guilty as heck for a long time.

I have come to view this as balast, for example that I understand fun snd game bullying vs. mean-spirited, maybe much like a football player understands the difference between good hard play snd a cheap shot.  And I font think this us an excuse.  I think this is a more sophisticated understanding of at least my own psychology.

At the very least I recommend the zen approach of letting a thoughtjust be a thought, of not adding extra power to it, of moving on to thenext season. 

Hiya - I'm a 69 year old married male aspie and my wife and I don't indulge in sex any more so I often go to tubegals to crack one off before going to bed - but I don't regard it as an addiction - I don't like that I do it - but see it only as obsessive compulsive - habit might be a better word - like smoking is a habit - that hits my pocket - as does your porn habit - if you really want to crack the habit I suggest that you spend a few bucks on getting hold of "Breaking the habit of being yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One" by Dr. Joe Dispenza and read it all the way through, then when you get to the end buy and download his guided meditation called "Body-Part Space" from his website, play it once to program your mind that you want to break your porn habit, then play it every night to yourself when you lay your head on the pillow to go to sleep - I only needed to obey the first few meditation exercise and on the second play and I was fast asleep so it kept playing to the end in my sleep - and I woke up in the morning and I was cured - the habit I wanted to break was prevaricating over telling myself I have closure on a manuscript I have written and therefore moving on to the next task on my todolist - like editing out all the stuff about my childhood because it might incriminate / embarrass someone I knew then - and like I said I was cured by the first session that I used it in earnest - and I haven't looked back ever since - okay it hasn't been a long trial - but there are no signs of the cure letting up and I am flabbergasted at how effective that one hit was - I did it because I had come to a shuddering halt after the first chapter of a fiction book I was writing - I had previously only written non-fiction - six books in all - that took me three and half years - and my churning thoughts kept telling me I was crap and I made no progress beyond the end of the first chapter of fiction for a month by nit-picking what I had done already - and, wham bam, thankyou, ma'am, I finished the entire book of a further six chapters in a fortnight - I told a mate so he got the book and meditation and wham bam - gave up smoking - the website is www.drjoedispenza.com - don't try the meditation before you read the entire book because your subconscious has to understand what the meditation is supposed to do it and you can only get it to do that by repetitively telling it - and that's what reading the book end to end does

PS - I don't get any commission for recommending this - just the pleasure of spreading the word

It seems like there is enough free material out there to not have to spend so much money.

I mean sure, sometimes pay sites really do have better material, but there is still some good free stuff out there. My habit is fetish porn and I still manage to find stuff for free.

Try to ramp it down gradually with FREE stuff (like a previous poster said), erotic photos, erotic art, erotic stories. And/or make your life so busy that you don't have the time for it.

Also look into treatment used for paraphilias. You have to know yourself and your motivations for any of them to work, though.

Here is some information: http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc. ... c&id=29729

Perhaps you can talk to a sex therapist?