Dealing with Stress

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I hurt myself when I get upset, usually when I believe I've failed at something important. What should I do to fix myself?

Which part are you wanting to fix?

- Hurting your self?
- Getting upset?
- Believing you failed?
- Judging your performance. (deciding it was a failure)
- Over-valuing issues as "important."

I do this (PAR) to permanently fix things I want fixed.

1401b, if you are reading this, then I want to say that I want ALL of those things fixed. When applying for a job a few days ago - or to be more accurate, when my mother told me to apply to more job openings for math teachers that she found - I had a severe panic attack. I started assaulting myself like I lost what little will I had to live. I was pounding and slapping my head, clawing and biting my arms, and even strangling myself with my bathrobe's belt. My fear of failure has stopped me from making serious progress in searching for a job since I graduated from college last summer; almost every time I went on a job search website, I brutally attacked myself as if I had already been fired.

As you can probably tell, things never "got easier" for me in the long run. This tic of mine has its roots in my childhood, when I would cry because things didn't go my way or because I lost some trivial object that mattered to me in some way. My parents failed to help me learn to avoid overreacting to these situations, just like they failed to teach me how to properly address failing at important tasks. I've had my fair share of meltdowns throughout my life, but even though it got progressively worse as I aged, I never came close to stress-induced suicide until recently.

I don't really know what led me to act that harshly to myself, but it might be some combination of poor dieting, minimal exercise, and not enough sleep. Whatever the cause was, professional therapy is out of the question. I've tried asking my parents for a therapist throughout college, but they always said they'd take care of it later. I secretly think that they thought it would be a waste of money, since my first two therapists hadn't helped me significantly.

I've got an interview with a local school in a few days, and I think I'm screwed regardless of what happens. If I'm accepted, the school is letting an emotional time bomb near easily impressionable children; if I'm not accepted, I have to go through more physically intensive online job searches. I know it seems like I'm overreacting, but even if my parents didn't enjoy rubbing my various failures in my face, any episodes that I could have in the classroom would go on my permanent record. I don't even have a solid back-up plan for a career in case I can't become a teacher. (My parents suggested that I become an actuary, but the actuary-prep courses at college were too difficult for me, and the only time I took an actuarial exam, I bombed and had yet another freak-out when I got home.) I just don't know what to do.

I take it you don't have any income of your own? Maybe you should try telling your parents you really need professional help, let them know it is very important...so they said they'd handle it later and haven't yet so I think it would be reasonable to bring it up and ask if they can pay for you to go. If you have money of your own you could use that to see a therapist. I just don't see how you are going to fix all that by yourself....and not getting help well you're likely to get worse.


If its to the point you are unable to hold a job....look into SSI/SSDI Disibility....there are options out there even if it seems like their aren't right now.

What Sweetleaf said.

You need professional help.

And soon!


From the title, and the original post, I got the impression that you just have some compulsive habit like minor cutting, or something. Some folks crave a little physical pain to relive stress. I have my own little peccadillo- something kinda like cutting- and I diffuse it by something like pumping iron- excercise-pain that builds up your bicepts instead of injuring your body. I was gonna advise you to do the same.

But it sounds like you're way beyond that. Like you said- you're a ticking time bomb.