I have kind of resented most of my (nuclear) family. My mum doesn't seem to understand me at all and the worst part about it is that she thinks she does, no matter how many times I tell her. My dad is worse. He doesn't understand me at all and gets mad when I tell him something I always tell him, for example, something I don't like.
I've kind of been holding this in for 5 years, back when I first got diagnosed with autism. Having Tourettes and dietary issues are one thing, because they are easily medicated, but when it was learned that I couldn't take medication for autism, my parents, I don't know, kind of got upset. They began doing secret research and stuff about it, (which I discovered when I was 13) and repeatedly annoy me with things like "My accountant has an Aspie daughter." I sick of it; I just feel like I'm being called a freak. I can't even address them about it, because being the Asian parents they are, they'd probably yell and send me to my room without dinner.
It makes me feel worse when they are with my siblings. I like them, but when they are talking to my brother or sister, they seem to be having more fun with them than they would be without me. I'm also frequently compared to my sister (academically: "She gets good grades, why can't you??") and my brother (physically: "Why are you shorter than him??" although they do the same with my sister) But I still don't feel safe about telling my siblings these things.
Can I just be understood for once?
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Shedding your shell can be hard.
Diagnosed Level 1 autism, Tourettes + ADHD + OCD age 9, recovering Borderline personality disorder (age 16)
02 Apr 2014, 9:13 pm
