Is everything my fault due to Asperger's?

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As an Aspie, I've always had trouble at communicating, understanding, and managing a lot of things that happened in my life. People have been annoyed by me, they screamed, insulted, and belittled me in all sorts of ways...including my mother. I never had anybody I can talk to. I don't know who I am or what I can do at this point. All I know is I'm regarded as a bad person because of my Asperger's and I don't know if I deserve to live.

Why do I have this disease? Why is there so much hatred towards me? What did I do to deserve all this?

no one deserves to have a condition and if they have a condition, they certainly don't deserve to be belittled over it. i'm sorry you are having such a rough time. please don't give up. we all have the right to pursue happiness. what would give you some small measure of happiness in the near future?

I don't know because of my Asperger's I can't do anything right according to my mom and everyone else. I'm also unemployed due to this disease.

perhaps listen to some of your favorite music with headphones on so as not to annoy anyone? then get a good night's sleep and tomorrow think about either disability income or education or work that would suit you or some combination of the above like disability plus education, some way to be able not to have to depend much on the folks who are so negative towards you.

when you are brain cursed. you cant talk walk or comprehend the social part.

kids pick up on this. Its like seeing a girl doing sexy movments before your eyes and blinking. are you not gonna react?

well asperger people dont react. best thing is to pretend your though and dont move your eyes cuz theyr will see u got asperger.

It`s not your fault.Don`t be depressed because of stupid people.You are who you are,and who doesn`t like that,must be polite enough not to mistreat you.Aspergers make social interactions difficult,but people should make more effort to understand each other.You should be aware of your qualities.You don`t need others to say that you are normal.Don`t allow that ones who don`t know nothing about you,go on your nerves with their stupid assumptions and comments.

What does that mean?

That social interaction is a set of unspoken, pre-set rules and expectations that NT's play along with as part of their daily communication. We do not participate in this theater so they intuitively and unconsciously assign the label of 'oddness' which for many is a gateway for abuse or leeway to take some kind of advantage.

"Theater" is a very apt description. I feel people around me are acting all the time, and it is exhausting to deal with people that say one thing but really mean another.

I'm fed up with being on the spectrum as well. I've learnt, for me, my condition is a ''I try my best but my best isn't good enough'' condition. It also makes me feel ridiculous a lot of the time.

Asperger's is f*****g s**t.

I get this feeling as well, too. You're not alone.

Whoops, double post! D'oh!

According to those who "love" me, now that I know the answer to my personality mysteries I am now responsible for any difficulties or problems that anyone can attribute to said answer. And I "have to" modify my behavior to suit every one else. I hope that I find the path to wealth so I can be myself without having to be paranoid that my mere existence is offending someone somewhere.

I sympathize with you.

I can relate so much to all of your posts. I'm never good enough at faking normal. Everything is always my fault, and my "problems" are frequently used as an excuse to mistreat me. I just want to scream at them sometimes....I'm working so hard to follow the NT rules and its one of the few goals I've ever set that I can't accomplish. Why are other people's problems met with compassion, sympathy, and understanding? And why are mine viewed with a "you deserve what you get" mentality?

We are born different, but its not a punnishment in the sense that it happened to you for something you did. Its just a type of mental handicap, much like physical handicaps, that you are born with. Its the result of genes and maybe some other factors.

It comes in different degrees of severity, but in all except the most severe cases it is something you can improve in time. I can tell from how you speak that you are not in that most severe catagory. So its better then a whole slew of things you can never do anything about. Realistically, it is for many a real uphill battle. All I can say with surity is it does improve with effort and learning, and if needed professional help/medications.

So is it a rough position to start from? Yes.
Can it improve? Yes

I beg to differ. it is neither disease nor handicap. It is nothing more than a reminder to the neurotypical capitalist and socialistic socialites that not everything nor everyone can be addressed with an "assembly line approach". The reason we often have difficulty getting work is because some capitalist was gullible enough to be fooled by another capitalist that certain psychological tests and/or computer driven selection program would yield the best possible employees. I am good at several things that are "in high demand". I am not good at "whoring myself out" on a job interview. Which is how I feel that the interview process compares. When I succeed in obtaining an interview, I feel as if I am trying to "sell" myself. I feel shame, anxiety, inferiority, and insecurity. It causes me to feel as if I am prostituting myself, which I hate, and thus l end up resenting the interviewer, which in turn lends to my failing the interview.

I would suggest that you and your mom attend therapy together and that you wtite your frustrations in advance to give the therapist in case you are likely to "freeze".

I would also suggest that you consider the job search as something to accomplish. when you get interview opportunities, Start right away with something like "I am not good at selling myself, but this is where I excel.........." and list your strengths. If the interviewer tries to interrupt, politely prevent it by saying something like "please allow me to finish then you can ask any questions or comments you may have." Try to lead the interview. It won't always work but often can provide an opportunity that would otherwise not be available.

AS is NOT F**K**G $41+. I resent being insulted like that. I am among a group of unique and highly talented people who are misunderstood and even resented. I am proud to be so special and to be in such talented company.