Preparing my mom for my eventual absence

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I am dead set on moving out of the house as soon as I get my dental bills paid. The last payment is in January 2015. Then I will move, most likely to Medford, Oregon, where I will live in a trailer park on my disability and work under the table as a computer repairman so I can buy some land in Klamath County, Oregon, and live off grid. I currently live in Sacramento, California, 300 miles south of Medford.

Problem is, my mom doesn't think I can do it, even though I lived in apartments semi-independently in the 90s. She wants me to be totally financially independent because she can't support me financially any longer. I think I can do it. But every time I mention moving out, she freaks out. I have to resort to being opaque about it and to couch it in broad hints, like "I don't want to put my ham radio antenna up on 40 ft poles because I don't know how much longer I'll live here" and stuff along those lines. Even so, if she catches on that I want to move out, she'll go off on me. My parents think that they can sell this property after they're gone to somebody who will let me keep living in the back for free, which is totally illogical but they won't see it.

Bottom line, I will be on my own eventually, my parents are nearly 70 and sick. I don't want to be out on the street and/or end up in a detention camp for the poor. My mom and I had this argument when I was 18. I moved out and made it work until inflation kicked in. I'm sick of arguing with her. I just want to live my own life. I'm almost 40!

This may be as much about your parents not wanting an empty nest as it is your wanting to fly the coop. Having you on your own means she really is int 'that next stage in life...some mothers like to delay this one and have a hard time seeing their child as independent - her identity shifts also.....hmmm something to think on/

Not sure if this is feasible, but have you thought of doing something independent, yet with a firm social network. Anyway, make sure you have enough savings to cover any unplanned events. Best laid plans oft....

Before you cut the apron strings, minimum savings is at least three or four months of expenses kept in the bank for 'hard times' more is better - this is to be money over and above moving expenses, money you can keep there and replenish as well...Chances are if you make a decent go of it, they will sell and move on and you'll lose your safety net...so weave a strong one, be firm and when the time comes..move forward.

good luck -may you be on your own, steering your own course and happily independent before you are 40.

Well, this property is their custom built dream retirement house. They won't sell for a while. What they will likely eventually do is as they get older move a caretaker into my cottage in the back. When my dad dies my mom will likely sell and move into an apartment in a senior living complex. By then she will likely be 80 or so and will need assisted living.