vicious circle

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I have noticed that extroverts, confident, smart, sucessful people avoid me
And people who are cunning, psychopaths, aggressive come up and talk with me

Eventually it becomes difficult to handle them after a while
My cousin bro is a psychopath he does strange and weird things
and its become unbearable but he is the only cousin who keeps in touch
rest of them are distant and cut off

Similarly when i was working there were 40 people there in our team
but the only person who befriended me was a aggressive lady
she used me to get her work done
and was very aggressive, shouting, yelling etc

Its a vicious never ending circle

in my decades of working the army/uncivil service, I was surrounded by exactly the wrong [sociopathic] people for the most part, I felt like I just didn't belong there. this is cold comfort at best, but you are not alone in feeling this way.

Sociopaths sniff out the weak and swan right up to them and try to befriend them, often sounding sympathetic and encouraging the unsuspecting to confide. They're just building little armies and collecting people to use.

We have an unfortunately effective one in my department, a very angry and contemptuous man. He asked me out to lunch once, took me off campus because he wanted to do all kinds of dishing, but really he was just trying to rope me in. By the end of the lunch I felt like I needed a detox. Didn't know why, didn't know what he was after, just knew it felt bad, bad, bad.

He tried using me as a pawn, a few months later, and the whole thing was badly played, but revealed a lot about how he operates. He's nervous around me now, and he should be. Eventually he'll try to rope me in again, because he'll need my imagination -- he's one of those Robert's Rules types, iron fist in a meeting, but has trouble thinking of large new things to do. Lacks the vision thing, as the first Bush used to put it. I'll refuse to play along, and, depending on the situation, he'll either ignore or have me tossed out. Which is okay with me. By then I'll have a paid-off property and low enough overhead to manage without that job, plus by then I'll have some sort of tenure. So unless he acts fast, it'll take him most of a year to get rid of me.

It's difficult, though. I'm not used to dealing with people like this, because usually I've been free to avoid them.

exactly and those who are rejected by others are nice to me

whereas the majority those who are in a group and enjoying wont include me in

my natural friends are societal rejects.

ya the smarter and confident group wont include me and i was too shy, reserved
to be part of their group
a frustrated old lady in my office included me and shared lunch with me
she sounded quiet paranoid and kept speaking ill about the management and coworkers
she was terminated
then i started speaking with a guy who was also rejected by everyone else he
was speaking ill about management all the time and eventually he told some lie
and left the office and when he came to collect his fund money the supervisor saw to it
that he directly took the money and not interact with other members and leave the premises immediately
they escorted him down till the gate and told him to get lost

and then lastly another lady became friendly with me but she was quiet short tempered, abusive and was
speaking ill about everyone. the management started hating her and they started scolding and yelling at her
all the time. eventually she resigned.

so all the rejects came into my life even my family are such dubious characters my father a shady character
and many of the relatives are shady characters.

becoming a hermit was the only way I could figure out how to cope.

do you try to interact with people now
or you just stay away
i mean if you see someone sitting alone around your house every evening do you
approach them or you just wont go out and try socialising
would you make a attempt
what if the other person approaches you??

yes, but only if they look at me with intent to interact, meaning sustained attention that is unmistakable.

only if they show no signs of wanting to interact civilly with me.

I would wait for them to show me signs that they wanted to interact with me, I've had some bad experiences trying to reach out to people who just wanted me to leave them alone.

then I will befriend them if they seem vulnerable and bereft.

ya i had that experience too
some ladies in my colony would just run away when they saw me
they would sit far off to avoid me
it was really depressing they got into such tactics to avoid me

[sarcasm]
I would derive pleasure from knowing that all the mean, rude, distrustful NT's will be reincarnated as some sort of stomach bacteria that's only job is sucking nutrients out of poo as it goes down the intestinal tract.
[/end sarcasm]

I'd suggest just worrying about your own desires. You can't make people like you, but you can find things you like about yourself. Find those things and build on them, this will bring you happiness. When you're happy with yourself you won't give a damn what others think of you and they'll become as irrelevant to you as the stomach bacteria I mentioned earlier.

humans are social animals
and if i cant be part of social circle and fit in
definitely i would feel left out and hurt

True we are social animals, but not constantly. My point is I don't think you'll ever be happy around other people until you're happy with yourself. Once you're happy with yourself you'll alleviate a lot of the pressure you feel to fit in. When that happens you can be social without other's opinions affecting you so much. Also, as odd and awkward as your autism may make you, when you radiate internal love, peace, and contentment others will naturally be attracted to you.

I have a son and family to look after. I have responsibilities. If i cant fit in it hampers my life to a large extend
People hate me due to my wrong social cues
My sons classmates moms exclude me
my son as no close friends in school due to this reason
my hubby's colleagues find me weird
my own biological family is full of obsolete people

i try to live with myself
but constant need to form a social circle
is there within me

I don't know a lot about your culture but perhaps you could be upfront with these people and instead of trying to hide your autism, tell them straight up: "If I seem a bit awkward I apologize, I have a form of autism." I know where I live people would become much more understanding of your social limitations if they knew you had a medical issue.
As for socially fitting in, I understand there's more than just yourself you're looking after. But, if you focus on other people's opinions of you so much that it's causing you stress you're not really helping anyone-- in fact you're probably increasing the stress levels of your entire family. You can only control who you are, you can't control other people's opinions of you.

Namaste, what works for me is to pretend [I don't actually have to work too hard at this!] that the earth is one big insane asylum where the inmates run the show, and that one is among an elect group of sane people amongst the psychotic rabble.