I feel like my only positive memories are in vain?

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Maybe not ONLY, but the only ones I can recall right away. here's what comes to mind:
Me being a social misfit, talking to a much younger girl who started a conversation with me. Now I try talking to her and she doesn't wanna talk.
Me talking on the phone with my cousin, who is 5 years younger than me, but now she doesn't want to talk on the phone.
me getting kissed on the cheek my my female cousin who was 3 years older than me. Now she doesn't wanna touch me because I'm a "namahram" and its a sin. And I won't see her for a long time.

I can relate to the title of this thread.

Most of my memories are negative. I'm trying to live a better life now, so that as time passes I can replace those bad memories with better ones - but for the time being, it hurts to have a past that's mostly rubbish.

The title of the thread doesnt make any sense in English.

Memories cant be "in vain". Efforts can be "in vain". Even emotions can be said to be "in vain"( the Rolling Stones covered a Robert Johnson blues song called "Love in Vain").

My guess is that you mean "all my positive efforts [ with the opposite sex?] have been in vain".

Is this about dating and courtship?

If so- stop messing around with your own girl cousins. Doesnt matter what culture (Muslim or Western or what) you're from- thats asking for family strife.

About the young ladies not related to you: you just gotta keep trying.