surviving and pretending

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I'm an older aspie 50 plus.

I'm feeling discouraged.

I never get enough time alone.

I live w/ my husband, and my adult son is in and out. They are both nice people.

I feel guilty that I don't enjoy my family I love them but I mostly want to be alone.

I wish I could live alone in the woods and only see and talk to people when I decided and on my terms.

In public I pretend, basically I'm an actress and most people have no idea how difficult everyday life is for me. The pretending is exhausting me.

I'm feeling full of dread and not much hope about the future.

I'm basically venting I guess.

Can't say I can relate to having a family, but I know what it's like to be constantly harassed and pecked.

I find cycling to be a wonderful escape. I can do it completely alone, and exercise never fails to make me feel better, and more relaxed.

Venting is always good. That's why we're here.

Is there a room in your house that you could use and maybe decorate, have some books there, tv, or whatever you like, and you could go there to have some alone time?

?The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.? ― Henry David Thoreau, Civil Disobedience and Other Essays -- http://thoreau.eserver.org/walden1a.html (paragraph 9)

Everybody is faking it. Some people, such as Aspies, just need to do a little more of the faking to get by.

Your family is better than most. You don't say anything about your material situation, so I'm assuming that it is acceptable. What you have is probably the best you're going to get. You can look around at what you don't have and get depressed, or you can look around at how awful things might have been, and consider yourself lucky. "Count your blessings," if you have religious tendencies.

You need to top it off with something meaningful. Fill your life. Get involved with volunteer work or find some way to give to someone who has less. Helping people and being on the giving end rather than the receiving end really makes all the difference.

"Empty Nest" syndrome is probably a big issue. There's an emptiness when the kids don't really need a mommy anymore. Even though my kids are still here, they don't fill my life the way they did. I started to feel it when my youngest started high school, and it took a while to put my finger on the empty feeling. I needed a whole new identity.

What are your goals? What is the short-term plan and the mid-term plan? Do you have a big project going on right now? What do you want to accomplish within the next five years?

I've always wanted one of those cute sheds that has windows and looks like a little cottage. I would doll it all up as a retreat just for me. If you have the time and money and space for one, that's my suggestion!

Same feeling. About once every ten days, I stay up all night. I get chewed for it, but my husband is learning to understand that I need some time to do my thing, with no sticky reaching little hands (kids are 12, 7, 5, and 2) and no conversational or sexual overtures.

I figure some day I am going to end up in a cabin in the woods, all alone, and so I'd better drink this in now. Sometimes I feel like I'm more drowning than drinking, though.

Thank you everyone. I have the cabin fantasy too.

It's definitely not empty nest. It's more difficult now because I can not count on or predict exactly when I'll be alone because my kids are grown and out of school. My hubby is around more and more.

I do have a room but the way our house is set up it's not quite quiet enough.

I am grateful but I get to the point where I'm just done and need to be alone. I have my ways. Take a ride park somewhere and read for a few hours. I walk 5 miles a day. I have routines that help.

I think I'm doing pretty well considering.

And, yes sometimes it does suck.

Mostly I'm sharing, looking more to commiserate than find solutions.