I lost my new job

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I left my part-time weekend job that had crappy pay and inconsistent hours in order to take a much better private caregiving job that paid the highest I'd ever made in my life and was for a person who seemed really great and who I thought I had good chemistry with. The work was really intensive beyond anything I'd done before but I thought I was getting close to picking it up. Then I got a phone call telling me that "it's just not working out" and I'm not a bad caregiver but "it didn't feel like the right match" or something to that nature, and they couldn't give me a specific reason. The thing is when they were training me I didn't quit my part-time right away because I know jobs tend to wait and see if a new person is going to work out before they fully commit, but when they found out they told me to quit, I was working for them now. So I did, and now I have NO second job only a few weeks later. I still have my primary job but it never paid enough to get us by. My fiancee says we'll be ok for now, we just have to budget, but I don't know if it's sunk in that we have only $40 to last us two whole weeks because we just had to pay rent. And it is so hard to find another job, especially one that will work around my hours at my primary job, but unless it's a big step up in my career I don't want to leave that job, and unless it's a HUGE increase in pay I can't afford to - one job in my field at my level just doesn't seem to be enough. And now I have to deal with the constant rejection that comes with all the job submissions - or, maybe even worse for me, not hearing back at all and feeling like I'm just being ignored - and it takes a huge toll on me psychologically and emotionally every time I have to do that.

[[hugs]] You're in a spot right now. That can be frightening. But it is only a spot, not a condition. Please do not allow it to become a condition. Are you SURE you need 2 jobs? I mean, your fiancee is working, right? And am I correct in assuming no children?

If it were me [ and I'll share my "It was me, but like on steroids" story in a minute] and I had only $40 to last for 2 weeks I would reserve as much of that money for gas for your car,or for bus tokens or whatever.I would make an appointment [if appointments are neccesary] at the nearest food bank to ensure that the small amount of money you have available is not spent on food.

You might consider whether a second job is truly the best choice. Working 2 jobs ups transportation costs. It also leaves little time for shopping the best food bargains and preparing that food in healthy, inexpensive, and delicous ways. It also sucks a lot of time from your relationships with others and with yourself.

If you choose to look for a second job,remember that it is a numbers game [assuming you know how to put together a good resume, present well, and interview well. If not, there are plenty of tutorials online]

One cool thing about being Autistic is that we tend to be solution oriented. We just naturally tend to think outside the box, because, frankly, most of us have not only never been in the box but do not even know where the darn thing is.

This will appear lengthy, but is actually a condensed version of how we dealt [and are dealing with] with a financial crisis.

Okay,about 12 years ago my [now, we were engaged a couple of decades] husband and I purchased a home in eastern Colorado. We deliberately chose a more modest home than we were told we could afford. My husband was working as a mechanic and I started an at home day-care for "uniquely wired" kids. [that was nice because when my son came home from school there were always other kids who would accept him. He was excluded because of being Autistic at school] We were able to help our grown children,put money away, and go on a cruise every year. We had recently joined a nudist club, and on week-ends we relaxed around the pool. Life was so good.

And then my youngest son became extremely ill. He was passing out from excruciating pain hundreds of times a day. After the first of the testing, we were initially relieved because there was no evidence of a brain tumor. We figured that we would find out what was wrong and get it fixed. What they did find was lesions on both sides of his thalamus. The neurologist told us that we would try a few meds but that he would be surprized if they would make much of a difference. They did not help at all. Every day my son would beg me to help him die.

We decided that if western medicine would not help, we would try everything else. And we did. Chinese medicine, accuppressure, massages, EFT, his own bio-feedback machine, christian faith healers, spiritual faith healers, hoodo,voodoo, and every weird lotion and potion and device that causes people to ask 'who would be dumb enough to buy that and believe it might work?' We went to see Father John, to France, to Jamaica. We followed every diet, eliminated toxins, and I could go on and on. Nothing helped. And he kept begging me to help him die.[ BTW, family support was non existent.]

When he became ill I gave up my daycare. Bobby had to take time off of work. About the same time we were totally out of resources, we found that certain strains of marijuana helped. He was, I have been told, that he was the second minor in the state of Colorado to receive the mmj card.

Did it heal him? No. does it help him? Immensely. He wasn't [and still is not] capable of me being out for a regular job, so I decided to restart my daycare. I was denied because of the marijuana.

So, we waited for him to do well enough for me to go to work. Finally, after a week of refusing to answer the phone, because I could not deal with all of the creditors, my husband and I sat down and figured out exactly where we were financially. We had a net worth of NEGATIVE $300,000.

There were so many reasons that we could not ever get out of this situation [other than bankruptcy, which for some reason we believed was for people in worse shape than us. I know] so we decided to totally ignore the "can'ts" and only focus on the "hows." There was an opening for the cook position at the nudist ranch. A friend and I applied. She understood LJs' illness and had no problem working around it. We thought we had the position. We were TOLD we had the position. The manager said that we had it, that we only had to wait for him to find the regular cooks contract.

The cook gets a free site to live on, including utilities. We thought it was an answer to prayer. One of my husbands customers lent us money to buy a nice travel trailer to live in year round. We were going to rent out our home for just a little less than the mortgage. We also decided that we were going to cut expenses by getting rid of our extensive health insurance and buying only catastrophic. We decided before doing that we would get all of the tests we were behind on caught up. Good thing I did. They found an aggressive form of breast cancer.

Oh,and because of that,someone else got the cooks job, and the free site and utilities. We rented a campsite and continued with our plans to rent out our home.

So, we were in a spot [ and I didn't even tell you about the taxes we owe the IRS] Some would say we still are. They are probably right,but it is a smaller spot. There were also some huge emotional revelations that go far beyond anything financial, and that actual condition has also lessened.

So, we rented out our home. And I started baking and selling cookies. And I made some deals with a few people to cook and freeze dinners. They would pay fully for the ingredients and I would cook enough for a meal for us for every meal with them. And I throw "Goddess Parties."

What is a Goddess party? Women, in my case primarily nudist women. We buy some wine and everyone brings either a super healthy or a sinfully decadent dessert. Plus they bring nailpolish or whatever pampering goodies to share. And those who wish to bring their nice clothing, jewelry,the kids old game systems, whatever to share. We eat, drink, give each other masages and hair and skin treatments, do a little yoga, and then we bring out the nice things we no longer use. I make jewelry, so I trade jewelry for all sorts of things. One nice thing about knowing other nudists; since they wear clothing as little as possible, when they get rid of their nice clothing it ussually looks brand new. I trade jewelry for clothing and bring that clothing to high end consignment shops [most nudists have money, thus nice clothing]

Of course we no longer go on a cruise every year, but we did manage to get a totally free cruise year before last. Many years ago we purchased a time share. We KNEW it was not an investment, but a way to remind ourselves to go on vacation [this was right before discovering cruising] We have found a way to get the $650 maintenance fee paid for by the timeshare company, and though Bobby and I never go there anymore, we are able to give the week to one of our kids every year.

Anyway, are you SURE you need that second job? Maybe you can live just as well without it.

BTW, our net worth sounds terrible. It is only about $30,000 [and we are old and still dealing with IRS] but that is a heap better than a net worth of NEGATIVE $300,000.

I still live in a travel trailer in the mountains, but they are the most beautiful mountains in the world. I sit on my deck drinking my coffee and the deer [and sometimes one of the foxes] stop by to say "hello" . We keep sugar in our home for one reason. The dozens of hummingbirds who drink from the feeders only a few feet from where I sit. The spot I am in has become a wonderful place. i honestly do not believe I would have been able to start healing from some enormous emotional stuff if my finances had not been turned upside down.