Forgive the abuser?

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Ever since I was a little kid I never had an emotional attachment to my dad's side of the family. My cousin was messed up as a little kid and he ended up abusing me, my brother, and my younger cousin who is another female. She has a lot of issues now. I have a lot of issues now. I never liked being around them. My grandma would tell me to "be like the other kids" when all I wanted to do was watch a movie. I was never good enough for her. She always had something to say about me and everyone else. This cousin who abused us was sent to jail for sexual assault and then sent to one of those places where they're supposed to fix people but they didn't fix him. I have been told by his mother that he (25 y/o) still masturbates infront of people. His mother's husband doesn't want him to be living with them. So, they're having him stay and my grandma's house and it's down the street and around the corner from my house. I am freaked out about possibly meeting him again. I have been so programmed to second guess myself that I can't decide if I should give him a chance or not. I keep thinking about how he's been locked up for so long with only males and that he still has sexual problems. And I am a female with big boobs and what not and I am worried that if I meet him he will try to do something to me. I have a knife, bokken and dagger in my room. I also have some pepper spray. My parents say that he is not allowed to be at our house but I get this feeling like it's not going to hold up. I hope it does. I don't go to family gatherings anyway, so I guess it won't be much different. The only person I have a connection with on my dad's side of the family is my younger female cousin, who is also on the spectrum. We talk a lot about how it has effected us. But when we told our grandparents and aunts/uncles they just kind of swept it under the rug and told us to get over it. I have lived down the street from my grandma for so many years and she never reached out to me like she did my cousin. Who got locked up for grabbing peoples' boobs. And yeah, now he's getting out and I would like to know how other people would deal with this situation.

Thank you.

i would make darn sure never to be alone with him. otherwise, it's all what you feel comfortable with.

I personally feel you should forgive the abuser and just view him as someone who has an untreated sickness. Should you forget what he has done to you? NO. Should you let your guard down around him? NO. Until he realizes for himself he is a sick person and gets help he should be considered a "loose cannon". I can empathize with what you are going through as I was also sexually abused by a family member when I was young. While I have forgiven that person, I will always remember what he did to me.