Need some advice

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I been having a problem lately. From January to now. I'm convinced that I dealing with some type of depression since that time. It started when I started worrying about the future. It was the worst during February where I didn't felt excited for things. I was very anxious of failing, I don't want to be worthless to anyone. I don't want to end up leeching off everyday as they move on. Even during Taekwondo and playing video games, I loss the appetite for it at times. I started to have a negative view point on people even through I'm usually a positive person. The big straw happen when I was having a unpleasant day and I screamed to the ground next to my German Shepard dog. I felt horrible since I didn't want to snap in front of my dog. I don't want to raise my voice on my dog. I felt like filth after that. During March to now, I feel somewhat better despite getting some thoughts every now and then. I been applying to places with no luck so far. Today, I felt the exact same thing since that day of snapping at my dog. Filth.

The thing is that I'm trying to do my very best to change. I want to be a productive person with a job and such, but it feels like I'm getting nowhere. I still make the same mistakes. I'm really am a hypocrite. I want to stop these thoughts. I don't them to keep eating up my mind forever. What should I do?

Sorry if this is too long, I really wanted to get it out there since I usually keep things to myself.

Get help?

You've already accepted that you have a problem, and having problems like this is OK as long as you do something about it.
I don't know what is going to help you, but it wouldn't hurt to go and see a doctor and tell them how you're feeling.

Rant as much as you need to on here.

seek help finding a job? voc. rehab.?

I was going crazy when I didn't have a job. I was completely isolated. It allowed negative thoughts and emotions time to fester and grow. When I got a job, my mental health improved dramatically. It took away stress, feelings of being a failure, isolation, and too much down time.

See if there is any voluntary work you could do even for an hour a week. Feeling valued for what you have done can lift your spirits and make you feel a bit better.

I have suffered from chronic, lifelong depression. A few years ago I read that the B vitamins are supposed to be helpful with depression. At the time I didn't have money to spend on supplements, and was also going through some very stressful problems, so my chronic depression was at a very bad level. Once my circumstances improved, the reduced stress helped reduce my depression some. I also qualified for assistance due to my health problems, so I started buying supplements with some of the assistance money, including B vitamins. I do think the B vitamins helped reduce my chronic depression even more. I think I will always have it, at least a little bit, but at least now it is at a manageable level. I have also developed coping methods over the years. You need to do things to occupy your mind, to distract yourself. That helps too.

Like CosmicRuss suggested, try doing some volunteer work, while you are out of work. Em_tsuj's idea of vocational rehab is also good. If you can't afford to take any courses in person, look into online college courses. There are even some free online courses out there, but few if any free ones will provide a degree or certificate. Still, they can be mentioned in your resume.

Good luck!