After all of the hard work I've done

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My mom apparently hates me. She wants to be an ABA (Applied Behavioral Analaysis) and my brother who is severly depressed got told by her that depression isn't real by ABA standards or something like that. She assumes that I'm depressed like my brother all because I was suicidal during a huge part in my Sophomore year in high school.

She drinks wine and says "and people wonder why I drink". My brother's feelings got hurt as well as mine. I'm not depressed because I've done so much hard work. I've met my goal weight, I have an awesome fashion collection and I'm finally happy and confident.

I asked her if I was still getting $560.00 for my birthday and she said that I'm too old for a big "woohoo" birthday like that. I'm turning 21 next month and I told her that most 21 year old women go out drinking and she said something about how if I were in a wheelchair. The thing is I'm not in a wheelchair or severly disabled. That's why I want a big celebration. I got some coupons from my favorite store in the mail and picked out some really cute things. I even picked out a red and white polka dot dress that I really want to wear when my mom's friends take me out to dinner. I picked out two pairs of Bermuda shorts that are really cute. I picked out some awesome stuff from other stores to add to my fashion collection.

And then my mom pulled the whole "things always make it better" crap with me. All I wanted was to make 21 my best year ever. I want to be cute, confident, feminine and happy with a borderline eating disorder. My mom said that if my brother and I had been raised by someone different blah blah blah....

Guess what, mom??? Things do make it better because beauty and aesthetics are my favorite thing ever and that takes me away to a different place. I thought her back surgery would make everything better, but apparently that's not enough for her.

My grandparents have health problems, but I don't mope about it all the damn time because I want the my life to be better.

I can't drink or go out partying so I found a different way to celebrate being 21. I'm only going to be 21 once. I don't need it to be ruined by her woe is me BS.

Sorry for the long post, but I don't know if I'll ever get out of this. We're moving to North Carolina and I'm scared that I'll go into a group home if something happens to my mom because I can't drive.

My mom doesn't let me show off my cleavage even though I'm not a DDD cup anymore. I look my disablity when I were a crew neck under a low cut blouse. My mom has forced me to have short hair before. I look like I have a double chin when I have short hair. My mom doesn't care about what I "want" she cares about what I "need".

I need to feel feminine and beautiful or else suicide will be my future.

I just wish that I had a loving, well off family and not a single mom who is depressed and doesn't love me. She used to be so happy and carefree. I don't know what happened to the mom that I used to know.

The 21st birthday should be a big celebration. I agree with you your birthday should be a big deal. It is the first year you can legally drink among other things

If I still get $560.00 for my birthday I will be so thankful. I have 28 things waiting for me to buy. I'm very girly and am proud of that. I need somebody in my life who likes girly things who isn't a gay man. I'm not a homophobe, I just think another 21 year old woman would be nice to hang out with.

I picked out an eyelash curler with roses on it. For some reason mascara seems to apply better on my left eye rather than my right. I picked on some new clothes and I am in love with leggings, Bermuda shorts and Capris right now! I found some new curvy skinny jeans. Skinny jeans look awesome with UGG boots because people can see the label on the boots. Skin care is a huge passion of mine so I picked out some apricot body cream and the coolest body lotion I've ever seen. The body lotion is from Forever 21 and it's called Triple Berry Cosmo.

Since I have a lot of makeup I picked out two new cosmetic bags. When we go visit family in North Carolina my mom tells me that I don't need that much makeup. I beg to differ. Then there's soe nail polish including Rosie Lee by butter London! A new perfume called Beauty Boheme from Forever 21 and a PINK body mist from Victoria's Secret. The scent is Sweet and Flirty. I hear that it's really good and I got it in travel-size so it's portable.

I stock up on mascara and eyeshadow primer so I also got some mascara and my favorite eyeshadow primer. My eyeshadow, especially black eyeshadow creases easily so I picked out my favorite one...Eden by Urban Decay., I also expirement with mascara so I got Clinique naturally glossy.

Victoria's Secret also had a Booty Parlor lip gloss that's a pink nude and I read it contains the molucule of love!

There's also two ear cuffs that I really love. My mom says they're 80s but history reapets itself amirite?

I picked sooooo many awesome things.

...Sorry if I talked about my "special interest"

Having a 'borderline eating disorder' is not healthy and is not something anyone should aspire to have.

$560 is a hell of a lot of money. I am from a single parent family, and I'm pretty sure my mum wouldn't have $560 to give me. If she did, I would never demand it, and I wouldn't say that makes us not 'well off'.

I am sorry if you don't have a good relationship with your mother, and that she has said hurtful things to you and your brother.

We normally don't have that bad of a relationship. We actually got over what happened very quickly. The situation was more of her and my brother.

That's good to hear. It doesn't sound right for her to suggest that your brother isn't depressed or that depression doesn't exist, though. I hope he doesn't think it isn't possible for him to be depressed. I also hope you have a nice birthday, by the way.

Thanks

The Capris I picked out are a Misses 18 and not an 18 plus so I'm not getting them, but I found other cute things

It's fine. Oh, okay, cool.