Party Help!

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I'm having a hard with figuring out whether to go to my grandma's birthday party.

It's a 1920s themed party. It's going to have a pianist, a 3 piece band, great food, a dance instructor to teach some special dances, a silent auction, and a bunch of other stuff...

However...there's going to be around 100 people there. Her house isn't exactly small, but it's going to be a tight squeeze. It's going to be so loud with all the people and the band. There is this one room I can hide in but it's right near where the band is going to play and it won't be able to block out all the noise. Everyone is going to be stuck in the house because speakeasies aren't supposed to be outside. The noise is just going to be so loud!

If I want to go home if I'm bored or it becomes too much, I can't unless my mom and sister are ready to go. The drive to my grandma's takes about 45 minutes. My mom says she isn't going to drive back home if I want to go home early. She wants to stay and talk to people that she hasn't seen in a long time. Driving me back home will cut into her social time. She feels like if she is going to be driving me back home when I want to leave that she shouldn't be going to the party anyways.

To make things worse, my mother has no idea how long we ( my mother, my sister, and me ) will be staying. She's guessing around 4 hours, but she's not for certain. The uncertainty is making me anxious! I wish I knew exactly how long we'll be staying.

The more my family is talking about it ( which is has been for months! ), the less fun it's starting to sound. Yea, there's going to be dancing, but I don't know how much room there will be to dance. And besides talking to other people, I don't know if there will be much else to do. My grandma will have me helping a few people if I go, but they aren't always going to be needing help. I don't want to be stuck in the room on my laptop while waiting for my mother and my sister to leave, not knowing when that will be.

The party is starting to become more like a chore.

My mother says that going to the party will be like real life, but the party is not going to be like real life, right?

I just feel like my mother doesn't understand. She says she thinks I can handle it, but I don't know if I can. The loud noise, being unable to go home if it gets too much or if I become bored, not knowing how long I'll be at the party. She says she doesn't care if I go, but she is saying that so much that I'm finding it hard to believe. Is that normal to not believe someone if they say something so much? I mean she says that she thinks I can handle it so it kinda negates her saying that she doesn't care. And she said that my grandma would appreciate if I go, so that kinda negates the whole "I don't care" thing, right? My mom doesn't want me to stay stuck in the house all the time but some situations I can't handle and will not handle unless it's absolutely necessary. This party doesn't seem necessary.

I'm just so conflicted about the party. It's understandable if I don't go because of all the stuff I mentioned, right? How do I explain to my mother how the party is not going to be like real life ( if it actually isn't like real life )? I don't want to disappoint my grandma but I just don't know if I can handle the big party. Help!

You could go sit outside in your mom's car when you need a quiet place to escape. Have her give you her keys when you arrive at the party so you can lock/unlock it yourself.