Don't give up, no matter how bleak it looks from your FOV. You'd be denying yourself the chance to ever enjoy anything, ever.
You've got not one but two parents you feel connected to, that makes you a richer man than many. I'm not a parent, but I imagine the loss of a child is devastating and unnatural. Don't do that to your folks!
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This is like the 7th time unrequited love has happened to me.
So, by your own admission, you've managed to get over something like this six times already. I bet my nuts you can do it again.
Don't be afraid to ask for help BTW, and by that I mean speak to a doctor if you haven't already. You might be depressed, maybe even obsessed. If you're considering offing yourself at all please also mention this to your doctor.
It can be unuusally bad sometimes....And as an aside am i the only one literally immune to suicide? Like in that inky black well abyss of no light or hope and just canna kill yourself even if you want to?