Living Situation

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I couldn't find a section really dedicated to family issues so I guess this place will do (sorry for the consecutive posts). This is a long story just to warn you, but could be worth a nice read and you can get insights on what I been through. I didn't include all details but ask questions and I'll openly reply.

I have moved out my parents house when I was 21. I brought my sister with me because my mom and her didn't get along and eventually she would kick her out. She brought her BF along with her. They begged and convinced me to let him roommate with us--which is probably something I am regretting. We stayed at an apartment complex not far at all from my mom.
The first 2 yrs with them were horrible. Her BF was just horrible. He's a weed addict and he smoked cigs. My sister had a job with McDonalds she hated. Because they only paid bi-weekly (which means every 2 weeks). She has been dying to get a job that pays every week and she did! Goodwill. It was a perfect job and she was making nearly $1200 a month. But she abused the job and money. She spent a lot on him (which he didn't deserve) and a lot on entertainment.

Well in the summer of 2012 she got fired. She came up with all kinds of excuses on why it happened but honestly it was her fault. So she could not pay her ends of the rent or bills. She filed for unemployment and got it. Because her BF bitched about paying her end of the rent a la he didn't have enough money to support his pothead habit, I payed her rent instead. But I feel like you are her BF, she should need her brother to pay her rent. I did this for 2 years. She got a job at K-Mart but they barely gave hours and they paid bi-weekly also. So I still had to help out while he gets his full trust-fund-baby check every month.

After bills I was getting at least $250-$300 a month to myself. But when I took the share of paying her rent, I only got about $150 or sometimes not even that! I moved out to save money but instead--I would've been better off staying with my mom financial wise.

Through the 2 yrs of us living there her BF put our place in more jeopardy with his BS. One thing that strikes me so funny about him is that he is fascinated with being bad or dangerous. He's white. Weighs all of 130lbs soaking wet. And he has a mouth like he has the balls of Tony Montana. But wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight! He only talks down to people he knows/thinks he can beat up. But I cannot wait until the day somebody really kicks his ass because of the mouth he has. He thinks he grew up in a hood when he grew up in the suburbs. Thinks he knows everything about the law because he's been "incarcerated" for 19 months (ohhh no!) in county jail! Not prison! County jail!
And he acts so tough but when he went to jail for not driving without a license, he cried like a b***h on the phone that VERY night asking me to bond him out for $100. I made him give me $150 the following month.

So fast forward to spring/summer of 2013 (which I may ad was the worst year of my current life) he decides to go wreckless shooting these fireworks everywhere during the beginning of July. His dad died in 2007, and his dad's favorite holiday was Independence Day. But, okay, we get it. That doesn't mean you have to shoot up the entire parking lot. And he was inconsiderate shooting them after midnight and stuff. Even at the security guard. He f****d with and threatened the Bosnian neighbors upstairs a few times. We had people report us multiple times and everything.

The summer of 2013 the manager said that he would not renew our leases. It was a kind way of saying you're evicted but we won't put it on your record. He was tired of us. And he was tired of my mom coming to the office to defend us, so he did the same to her.
She had to move out first. So in September her and the husband had to live with us until they got a new spot. It started off good but it was a horrible episode. After doing everything to make sure my mom's husband was comfortable, he ended up abandoning us. On Halloween we had to help my mom move her stuff from storage to her new place. It was cold, rainy, gloomy, and lots of tears being shed. We basically moved 2 households. Because we had got our apartment downtown.

Now to enlighten you on something.

We had 2 choices on where to live. One was on the east side near a mall--basically one of the most commercial centers of the city. Or we could stay downtown, heart of the city and next to our school. To be able to walk to college and not take a 45min bus ride is an amazing difference. The east apartment was $700/mo and the manager worked with us to get us in (because of my sister having no income and all). BUT, my sister input a valid point. We should move downtown because it is closer to mom--and we knew her and my husband fought thousands of times and got back together. He nearly killed her once and she still took him back. So we didn't want to chance it. We moved downtown where the manager lady said we'd pay $737 a month, but lied and gave us the maximum $767.

After abandoning us to be with a guy (yes he's bi) my mom let him march right back in her life within 3 days of us moving her in!! ! Usually after their breakups it takes about 30 days to reconcile things, but 3 days!? And after all that!? I was pissed! Heated! This really put a damper on me and her relationship. Since he stayed there I never even walked into her place again. Barely talked with her. And I was getting ridiculed for it! Saying I am letting him keep me from my mom. I'm like, she knows where I live she can come see me! And he apologized to my sis and her BF, but ain't reached out to me in any way. And I refused to reach out first because I always have to when things like this went down.

A month or two later they ended up splitting for good. Got a divorce and everything. I think what did it was the relationship between me and her. I lost respect for her.

So now I stay in this expensive apartment and living with two idiots. My sister got a great job at the bank and also works at Walmart. Because the management is so shady, we already knew that we wouldn't stay there another year. We signed our lease in October. Since we lived there I barely got any money from my monthly check. She pays her own rent now. And when we moved her BF was forced to chip in also. Our cable got cut off. We haven't had cable or internet in 8 months. I kept telling them we should try to at least get internet but they complained saying: "It's another bill we'll have to pay and we'll barely us it." They are so f*****g dumb!
Because we need internet for school--even though I never mind doing my homework at the school library and such. But they are lazy. And internet at home could've helped them vastly.

I forgot to mention another thing! When we left our 1st apartment, after telling them not to get another cat, they did anyways. She pissed up the carpet and we never knew. They found out. We weren't supposed to have a cat. They charged us $700 for that carpet. I haven't paid a red cent on that fee because it was their fault. I told them not to get another cat. Plus, her BF went crazy when he found out we'd have to give the cat away (because she wouldn't stop pissing the corners up) and threatened to kill the cat rather than have my sister give her to an animal shelter. I told her if he does that I'm moving out.But eventually he was smart and gave that up.

As of now we have an opportunity at a new start. This next place we could move in; the guy basically paysus to stay there! We've got central air and we don't pay for gas. It's $670 a month comes with own washer and dryer AND free internet and cable! Plus, if we pay our rent on time for the full year, he takes off 15%, I think, off of the rent! The thing is that, in order for us to move there we'd have to buyout of our current lease. The lady said it would be worth up to 2 months in rent. It would cost over $1500 to do it. My sis applied for a loan at school which we can get he money and do this! Because that guy isn't going to hold that place for us until October--if he could get other tenants then he will.

But her and the fiancee (oh yeah, he proposed) are only worried about fixing this broke down as Grand Am Prix just to have a car so she won't have to hassle using my moms truck anymore. They don't realize how good of an opportunity it is. Plus, that new building is literally a block away from my mom's place.

Instead of just buying out, my sis and her fiancee are looking for ways to cheat out of the lease. The maintenance man left the versatile keys in the hallway. My sister said that we could call corporate and complain about that being a potential dangerous thing and they would grant us a leave of our lease. But I strongly doubt that would even happen. I just think we should pay the lease buyout and get the s**t over with so we could start LIVING and stop STRUGGLING!

But all they can think of is this damn car! And her fiancee doesn't car about anything else but the car so he could be chauffeured around and use it. When that car gets fixed it'll be the foundation of their arguments right there! Because it's her car, but he'll feel entitled to wanting to drive or get a ride. And if he puts gas in the car he'll definitely feel entitled to anything. So that'll make her not want to ask him for gas money or anything. What the f**k did you say yes to marrying him for if you cannot depend on him!!?
And they argue every damn day! Even little skirmishes. And when he doesn't have weed, he's a damn childcase. Throwing tantrums and stuff! And it's always the electronics that piss him off. He bought a Ps3 and that barely works. His phone doesn't work well. He shouts and talks about how he should just start robbing people. It gets annoying. But that's what he gets because he was also a thief. Stealing people's stuff and electronics and now karma is kicking his ass.

Getting to the end of this story. I am on the verge of making a revolution. This will be my 3rd time moving with them. If nothing's changed by then, I might move out and roommate somewhere else or hopefully find a spot on my own. My mom constantly criticizes me unconstructively on how I wouldn't make it by paying for a place myself not even making a $1000 a month. But I don't care. I'm not materialistic and I need to be pushed into a better situation and perspective. My sis and her fiancee aren't seeing life the way I am. I am going to be 25 yrs old soon. I need to start doing something. All they can think about is their future-disastrous marriage and kids and all that BS. I'm thinking of careers, business, something to stop living the way I am.

And I am trying so hard to hang on to them--especially my sister because I love her. And don't want her to fall. But when she takes this man's hand in marriage it won't be my job to protect and help her. It will be his. Frankly I don't think he can do it. But I'll root for him non the less.
There has been people telling me to get out of there a long time ago. But under family circumstances I couldn't just abandon them two like that. But as of this 3rd time, if I don't see progression I will clearly notify them early that I am leaving.

I think it's time you find a place on your own. The bad things that guy causes to happen in your rental history, like being asked to leave, wrecking the place (cat peed carpet) etc can tarnish you own history and ability to be accepted by managers/ landlords in your future. The sooner your name stops being officially connected to theirs via leases and bills, the better.

You can afford it. You mention a place for 650 and you make 1000 -- as long you're making that, you can scrape by, I've had to do that at times. You will feel far less stress alone and in full control of your living situation, trust me.

They will be fine. People like that always get by somehow when forced to.

.

Her fiancee isn't on the lease. He never has been since we've moved. But you are right, a rental record can follow you everywhere. And he and my sis weren't the most likeable people. I might devise a master plan: a plan A, B, and C. Because another thing is that whatever happens in their relationship effects me somehow too. When he's stressing her how and they are mad at each other, things get awry.

But they belong together because they are both blockheads!
They both have the Samsung S3. My sis charger broke. So she got a different one. Her fiancee sold his charger like a dumbass! So they are working off one charger that barely works to their phones. I often let them use mine--but told them both they should stop getting those Family Dollar chargers and just go to the Sprint store and get an authentic one. But noooo.
They didn't wanna spend $30 on a charger: but he'll spend $30 on weed and she'll spend $30 on entertainment. I almost ended up charger-less because of them. And now she went to get the right one, when they could've just did that in the first place to avoid frustration.
They love to see the bigger picture but don't think about the steps required to make that picture happen.