LGBTQIA Confessions

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Hello to all of my friends here over the years.

My name is Kennedy. No, this is not my birth name, but I am changing it.

This is because I am transgender.

I call myself genderfluid/non-binary. What this means is that I go from presenting (looking like) as a girl to a guy and then neither. Order does not matter; I basically choose my gender for a day or several days. It is not my body that changes, though that would be a miracle (what if I had detachable/attachable parts?), but my attitude, my voice, and my style of dress all change as fluidly as my mindset does.

Also, I am asexual, but my mother does not believe that this is an actual sexuality. My family says I will "find the right person". I have a loving boyfriend, but I have no desires whatsoever.

Alongside those two identities, I am biromantic. This means that I have a romantic attraction to both boys and girls (and sometimes, like me, those in between).

My boyfriend does not know that I am biromantic, but he does know that I am transgender. He accepts me wholly and even put my contact name in as "{birth name} (Kennedy).

I chose the name Kennedy because I adore learning about the John F. Kennedy assassination. Also, my father was born three days after the Kennedy assassination, which is why that was his middle name.

Are any of my other autistic friends trans, asexual, bi/panromantic, etc.? I feel like I am all alone in this.

Yes, gender fluid and pan. I doubt that my terms are correct, as my feelings are unlike the feelings of all other gender fluid people I've encountered I don't want to change the way I dress or act and want to appear androgynous to maintain stability in my life. I don't feel more sensitive as a woman or tougher as a man. I experience discomfort and dysphoria about my physical body.

I often feel alone on discussion forums, which are mostly the complaints, concerns, and gender experiences of cisgender, heterosexual men and women as they discuss a life I don't and can't lead.

I've been genderqueer all my life, and I recently realized that agender best describes me. I haven't become openly agender to anyone in my real life yet though. You sound bigender, since you seem to change (if i understand correctly.)

Everyone in my real life that knows me thinks that I am genderqueer (although I'm agender), but they don't know that there's really a word for it. They just know I act the way I do. They think I am a lesbian, and I get asked if I am frequently. I'm not a lesbian.

I also have gender dysphoria, (self diagnosed) and when I was little, I was absolutely sure that I wanted to be transgender and one day transsexual to become part of the male sex and gender. Now, I strongly wish to not be associated with neither the male or female gender. I always just felt like I was my own gender- I am "Serena gender," but then I learned about agender, and how that is basically what it is.

I wish that I was born male though. I wish that I was born of the male sex, and then I would be a genderqueer male. That's what I really want, but I can't go back and make myself born a genderqueer male. On the inside though, that's what I am.

I wish to cut my hairs short, but they're so curly, and everybody knows the situation always differs for curly-haired people one way or another. I want them to be straight and shorter, because I hate fixing my hairs. I want to not look like a girl as much as I do, because then I am more associated with girls, and girls typically make me feel very uncomfortable.

I'm going to be moving away from where I live this summer, so maybe I can make a change for myself this summer. I wish to have ze/zie and zir pronouns used for me, and I wish to change my appearance.

I may sound like I want to be male, and it's true, I do want to be more male than female, but in reality I just want to do the things in my agender-serena-gender. I like to wear earrings that have little foam bacon and eggs at the end. On online games, people think I'm male.

So no, you're not alone, as from what I learned, it's apparently quite common for people on the autism spectrum to be genderqueer or fall somewhere under the transgender umbrella, because while non autistic-people grow up easier learning what role they're supposed to have as a gender matching their sex, more of them end up being cis-female or cis-male, while we are apparently less likely to "pick up" on that.

I knew it all my life, and I'm glad I learned that there's a word for it. I'm agender with gender dysphoria, and I always have been, and always will be.

My friends here are incredible.

Serena, I was almost certain that being bigender meant you were, well, two rolled into one, as some may say. You would identify as both, no?

Your stories, both of yours, are truly fascinating. I certainly enjoy hearing about others like me.

In all honesty, I came out to my boyfriend just days ago as biromantic. Well, I told him the joke that I told my younger sister two days before. Here it is:

(brushing a doll's hair)

"I'm so mad that Felicity's (my doll's) hair isn''t straight."

(little sister looks curiously at me)

"Then again, neither am I."

I came out to several people in the last few days. It is simply a wonderful thing to be able to be who I truly am. My mother said that she "had five kids; one of them was bound to be gay". It got a quick laugh from me, but I quickly let her know with a smile that I was only "partially gay".

My mother says I am "too young" to determine my sexuality, and that I was "slapping a label" on myself. All I told her was that I am asexual. No one has commented on my heterosexual, younger sister, now, have they?

Sorry for the long post. I really needed to talk this out. I cannot discuss it with certain people, for fear they will shun me or hurt me. My bus driver, as well as a boy who sits at the front with me, are both heavy-duty Christians that believe homosexuality is a sin and that transgender people are unnatural.

I just... *sighs*

Thank you all for your wonderful replies I will be checking back shortly!

People are old enough to know their sexuality from when they start getting crushes on people in middle school, elementary school, or whenever that person starts. If a little 6th grader is old enough to be expected to have a crush on someone, a little 6th grader is old enough to know they're gay. It's not like some terrible thing that you have to confirm when you're "smart enough."

Edit:
Also, from what I've learned, bigender seems to be more like gender fluid than agender. I consider myself neither gender, because I just don't want to be associated with either. With bigender people, their gender is more like "bipolar," if you will. Their gender changes around from girly to boyish and whatnot. Agender can have that too and everything, but it's supposedly more dramatic with bigender, and that's why it's called that.

Yes, I know the feeling. It's like there are select "safe areas" while others have the whole world to talk. I'm a member of several forums and people there are more used to the way I experience the world. I'm not automatically tagged as a "woman" if I say I have a "boyfriend" and interpreted through a heterosexual lens.

I do see some nasty comments online, though, so I prefer to stick to GLBT or T-specific communities for now. I was on one forum that had a subsection which was open to all, so occasionally there would be a cis, hetero man in there causing a fuss. Staff deleted his thread talking about how "gross" it would be to find out a woman he was talking to was trans at my request, but left up other threads such as the one asking if lesbians who shared a bed with a male friend ever became interested in him...

Hard to feel comfortable with gawkers, mockery, and people who see gays or lesbians as a sexual fantasy around.

Thank you both!

They seem to accept that I am biromantic much more than the other two identities (transgender & asexual). My sister loves to hear my gay jokes (so long as they are "tasteful"?).

Luckily, I am not trying to "reclaim" slurs, or anything of the sort. That would be a tough place to go, and I am not ready to go there just yet.

I have never actually dated a girl. I have certainly had crushes on them, but when you are young, everyone thinks that crushes such as those are "gross".

The person I am dating now is my first romantic relationship. He is a cisgender, heterosexual boy who is actually younger than me (though he stands five inches taller!). At prom, I had my first kiss.

I told my sister that I am like the Virgin Queen lol. I have never really done much of anything. He is my first everything.

I love the fact that he accepted me for who I am, and even started using my gender-neutral name. What a wonderful guy! He said that he is used to hearing people come out, which I suppose is, ah, sort of cool.

I usually only get on WP when I am at school, because it is so difficult to do on mobile, so I could either come back on Monday or use my kindle fire over the weekend.