Feeling sad after social events?

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I wanted to post to see if anyone else feels the same way as I do, or has suggestions for me. I have felt like this for my entire life really.

Basically, I find that when I am able to spend time with friends, I usually have a great time and am really happy. But then, when we all leave and go back home and I am by myself again, I start to feel very sad and almost depressed.

As a recent example, I recently connected with an old friend from college over dinner. We both had a really nice time and managed to catch up on everything that had happened in our lives since we graduated. After the dinner, I went back home, and just started to feel extremely sad knowing that I may never see him again, and that the whole experience was over.

This seems to happen almost every time that I spend time with people that I enjoy spending time with, particularly when I visit family. I know that part of it is just that I have so little of a social life, that I cherish the few opportunities I have that much more. But even when I have a fairly active social life I still felt this way every time we'd do something together. It is extremely hard for me to say goodbyes to people because of this too.

I often feel the same, especially after hanging out with my best friend (even though we see each every week). I wish I knew what to say. Loneliness is a hard thing.

I have felt this often since I was a teenager.

I enjoy myself when with people, then when I get home I fear and worry i f****d up and they'll hate me. I feel i should apologize or remove them from my friends list.

Feel like this, too, the depression can get really bad after a good social time, and I go over everything I did or said and feel ashamed and upset.

I generally just feel nervous and embarrassed after socializing, thinking about all the things I said (or didn't say) and what I should've said instead.