Person who mocks; educate him, or shut down all discussion?

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I'm starting to feel quite deep anguish about what is actually my first experience with someone in my life who is giving me a hard time about autism/Asperger's, and who turns out to be a skeptic in general not just of me but of the entire Asperger's issue. I should never have confided in this person to begin with, I see that now, but now that the "cat is out of the bag," any time the topic happens to come up again, this acquaintance of mine is completely disrespectful to me, literally laughing in my face and assuring me "You don't have Asperger's! HAHAHAHAH!" -- and I'm really starting to feel angry, sad, and made fun of for something that is a profoundly agonizing and soul-searching topic for me, as most of you will probably relate to.

It's also important to note that this person doesn't even actually know me very well! We run into each other in a local park where he walks his dog and I do my bird project, and although we sit down and have some quite good talks, and have become platonic acquaintances, he has never seen me under any other less pleasant circumstances, he doesn't know anything about my history as a child or young person, he only sees me "at my best" -- out feeding the birds, in a good mood, and "prepared" to be social using skills I had to strenuously learn, mimic and build upon in my 52 years having to be independent in the world.

So basically he only see the person I've had to work very hard to become in order to function. He hasn't heard about my childhood of selective mutism that was never addressed, he's never seen my meltdowns, shutdowns, what I'm like when I stumble through the door and get home to a state of inner collapse from the strain of socializing -- he doesn't know me at anything more than a superficial level.

Yet he is now aggressively dismissing out of hand my issues.

I know some of you must be thinking now: Well, if he doesn't know you very well, why has it hurt you that he is passing a judgement on you? I think it hurts so much because I'm being invalidated by someone who, in other ways, I thought I had a nice friend who seems not to judge me. I had been feeling more comfortable around this person than most these days, and it's a shock to have someone I started to trust just laugh right in my face about a topic that's a profoundly serious subject to me and affects me deeply.

Has anyone encountered a friend, family member, acquaintance or anyone else, who, upon learning that you are on the autism spectrum, they outright denied you, laughed at you because they didn't believe it, whether you have your diagnosis or not?

What do you do with a person who either doesn't believe you are correctly diagnosed, or doesn't believe you have valid reason to be diagnosed if you are not yet diagnosed?

To give some background:
I am a 52 year old woman who is of the generation that got overlooked, particularly the females.

It's important to note, I do not yet have a diagnosis, but I've been informally told by a clinical social worker that she agrees I'm likely HFA, I don't fit other criteria such as BPD etc., and I ought to pursue evaluation. So this is what I'm working up the courage for now.

It has been several years since I had a rather traumatic "Aha!!" moment in recognizing my lifelong traits and challenges, in an article on Aspergers, and it's taken me all these years, and further research, to even come to terms with even the remotest possibility that this is indeed "me."

It is not something I've seized upon gleefully as some kind of excuse, and it is not something I latched onto lightly -- it's been a heavy journey for me just to get my head around the mere possibility of it being the case for me, even though "everything fits."

I am now trying to gather the courage to pursue a referral and an evaluation/diagnosis so that I can settle the matter and know for sure, for my own peace of mind. But even if it should turn out to be that I get assessed and told I'm not on the spectrum -- well first of all I'd be very surprised, but secondly, it almost wouldn't matter, because I have so many of the traits/symptoms and difficulties that I might as well be. I struggle daily with autistic-like issues and I have done so my entire life, and that's all that really matters, official label or not.

As many here will understand, all of this is quite a lot to come to terms with emotionally, those of us who are adults who went under the radar and are only now just beginning to have it occur to us that everything fits. It's quite a tough journey and a lonely one, to be an adult only just coming into awareness of what may be the problem.

So to have someone I thought I trusted mock me outright feels very tough to take.

I'm already feeling very vulnerable about the whole subject. I have my own days of doubt too! But I take it seriously, and to find that someone I was thinking of as a rare friend (it's rare for me to feel comfortable with someone and to build even an acquaintanceship) is thinking I'm a joke because of this, is making me feel disrespected.

Do I end this friendship such as it is? He is otherwise a nice person to run into and it's been a pleasant thing before this stuff started.

Do I print out some information for him, to educate him, since it's clear to me that he is one of those people who don't actually know a whole lot about how complex the autism spectrum is?

He doesn't care for the internet so he's not the type to make a search for things himself, so if I print out some basic information and hand it to him he would be more likely to read that.

OR -- is all of that just not worth the effort? Since he seems to be one of those skeptics who barely even believe Asperger's or HFA is " a real thing", and he seems so damn sure of who I am even though I could tell him more about myself that would be hairraising to hear....why bother?

Should I instead just decide this was a lost cause and simply never allow him to bring the subject up ever again? He was the one who started talking about it again yesterday, about someone else in fact! We were chatting about another person we run into, and HE said "She may be autistic." At first I was surprised by his willingness to believe someone ELSE could be on the spectrum. But right after that he then added: "Not like you, with your Asperger rubbish -- YOU'RE not, ahahahhahh!!"

Well thanks for showing me that I've got at least one person fooled, I guess!

But should I try to explain to him my reasons WHY I believe I should pursue my diagnosis, and also educate him with information in general about high functioning autism?

Or should I just drop the whole damn thing when it comes to this guy? I think he is too resistant and set in his beliefs to be worth bothering with.

It's really not helpful, though, to be in the delicate position I'm in with something that has been a very hard inner journey for me, and have someone like this in my life being completely unsupportive and skeptical.

What should I do? End the friendship? Try to educate a stubborn person? Or just keep the friendship but shut down all talk of the spectrum?

Please forgive the long post -- there has been a weight of hurt feelings burdening me regarding this. I thought I'd found a nice friend and instead I'm feeling disrespected and mocked about something really painful for me.

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This is one reason I don't tell people I have Asperger's. It's just not worth the uphill battle it ends up being with some people. I would not bother attempting to educate someone who has no interest in learning, so you have to decide how important it is for him to accept this part of you. If it never comes up again, will it bother you just knowing what he thinks?

I'd remain friendly, but distance myself. Seeking outside validation is just a dead end road most of the time, in my experiences.

MjrMajorMajor, thanks for that input, it's very sensible. I shouldn't feel like I've been put in a position of proving anything to this person, you are right.

Thanks sacrip for your reply. I wish I had never mentioned it to him, it was one of those things where he seemed like he might be understanding, but I made a wrong assumption ther bigtime. I'm going to have something more like your policy, going forward.

I think I'm leaning toward never letting this subject come up with him again, and never attempting to help inform him. That's a pity, but as you say, if he doesn't want to learn, I'm goign to cause myself stress trying. I certainly dont need the strain of such a futile goal. If we never talk of it again and keep to other matters, I can live with knowing he's a cynic, as the alternative would be too draining...