30 years old...At breaking point with mom.

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My mom and I have finally reached the point of no return. There is no fixing this relationship....

She has stopped helping me with cooking, and wants me to cook all my own meals. The trouble is, she has a cow whenever I buy any kind of food. She says its a waste of money, so in accordance with my policy of "absolute avoidance" of any kind of problem, i stop buying stuff. This has led to me losing the few cooking skills I have managed to learn. I subsist mainly on instant foods or meals I bum off others.

I feel I cannot live at this home anymore, not beyond summer. I have few life skills, no car, no social skills...no job, virtually no money. The only option I have is to become homeless... What do I do?

Is there a social housing registry where you live? If so, contact them.

I hear you about your Mom. I live with mine and it's getting to both of us. We have mutually decided it's time for us to find our own places.

I understand your frustration. It sounds, though, that your mom is trying to help you learn to be self-reliant. You say that you want to be, but you have to start somewhere. There are so many cooking tutorials online. Perhaps re-learn to cook on those. That would be a first step in becoming more independent. If she did not expect you to cook [and clean and help around the house] that would be terribly enabling. I suspect she is trying to no longer do that. I have had problem with one of my kids [ I am autistic, and 3 kids are as well] who, on one hand would insist on being treated as an adult, but would not do "grown-up things. He would be angry with me, both for helping and not helping enough, and I felt whatever I did was wrong.

I do not feel that your mom is trying to control you. I believe that she WANTS you to grow up. So, after fixing your mom a nice breakfast this Saturday, and telling her you love her, please remember to wash the dishes and clean the kitchen[ which means cleaner than you started]

I know that there are extremely abused kids. If you were, I think the last thing that would bother you is her expecting you to appreciate whatever and whenever she cooks for you, and cook yourself something decent and healthy and frugal when she doesn't.

I believe that you will have a much better shot of eventual self sufficieny if you start being a little bit more responsible and a lot more appreciative,

Ok to last poster: I have my own kitchenette I'm talking about cooking there. I literally can't even cook meat without her freaking over me smoking up the house AND spending money to begin with. I can clean and do my own laundry. I can get ready to go in the morning.

We've been at odds for 15 years. I was conserved without full understanding of what that meant so money is limited. I don't have a job so I make none of my own.

As for controlling she calls me every hour or two to ask where I am, what I'm doing and who I'm with. She has rules governing most aspects of my life. And I've already had the court system hold a conservatorship hearing (against my will) last year that she still yells at me for.

I'm major depressive too so I am starting to consider the "final solution" to my problems.

What are the terms of the conservatorship ? Is there any way to get out of it?

Okay, you say that you live in a kitchenette now. Last year you lived at home with your mom and complained about the food she cooked for you. Now, you are in your own place. That is great. SSI is such a small amount of money. After your rent and utilities, I would assume that what is left is so miniscule that you would easily qualify for foodstamps. If you start receiving them, and start using them to buy your food, she could not complain about you spending money on food, because you would not be spending money on food.

SSI will leave you with no money beyond bare bones survival. Have you considered joining 'ticket to Work? They will help train you for a job, find you a job, and many even teach budgeting and basic life skills. Then, if you do well, they could be an allie in helping you to regain your freedom. If you can work, but not full-time [nothing to be ashamed of] maybe a little off the book walking dogs, cleaning dog poop, aerating and mowing lawns. These could give you extra money. You could stash it away for your future. Money buys options.
Also, I believe that you can request that someone else be in charge of your payments, even social security can appoint a representative. If the financial responsibility is not an issue between the 2 of you, maybe you can restore your relationship with your mom.