Mom troubles.

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I know it seems trivial, but I'm having some mom troubles, and it's beginning to bug the hell out of me.

I have said before, I have a very low self esteem, and I don't care what people have to say about it. I'm fine when people make comments about themselves, it doesn't bug me in the least, but if I make ONE negative comment about myself my mom starts blaming me, crying, and making a massive drama over it. She bought me a sign that says "You are fine just the way you are", for example, and I thanked her, but it clashes with my thinking. She's big into all that whole yoga-meditation-feel-good-about-yourself-and-become-one-with-the-universe hubbalub, whereas I'm a realist who thinks...well... realistically about things. I know I'm fat, and I know I can lose the weight if I try. If I make one comment about being ugly, my mom starts crying and sniffling and guilting me about it. And she won't stop for days.

At the second, there's a HUGE difference in thinking between us, and a huge difference between what we think is acceptable in public and not. She finds it fine to cry in public, yet I'm against crying at all, even in privacy. She's into letting out all of the pent up anger by writing it on paper and burning it, or something else. Basically, she's a hippie, I'm more of a stoic type. She finds it fine to be emotional in public, but I think emotions + anyone seeing it = BIG no-no.

She says I'm too hard on myself, and hates when I complain (To myself) about my appearance or personality. I've always thought the way I do, which never stikes me as being wrong or having a problem, but she insists I should be "Happier" in myself. I don't really care about my happiness, really, and it's making us drift a bit. She also brought me for "therapy" which basically turned out to make me even worse than before (She agrees they were a negative experience) and there's nothing left I can do. My dislike for myself is my motivation to go on with life, and improve to get better so that maybe I'll dislike myself less. She doesn't understand this, and thinks I should be happy with how I am now, but I strongly disagree.

It's driving me crazy, and how can I fix it? I just feel I can't be my real anymore around her. I'm sorry if this post is badly written or confusing, but that's just another of my many flaws. Note that both of us have Asperger's and I also have OCD and probably GAD. There's more to this, but tbh, I don't want to share the details online, where everyone can see them.

So...what the hell can I do?

im not sure what to do but im in the same situation

My mom is one of those people who just lets life happen. "Whatever happens happens and you just deal with it." I'm more of the philosophy of you make your own luck, so grab the bull by the horns and wrestle with that sucker. My mom simply can't comprehend why I would voluntarily seek new experiences, move away, etc. She worked for a school district-the same one she went to school in as a kid-for her entire life. We keep having arguments over me wanting to move to Oregon, the SAME arguments that we had when I wanted to move out of the house at 18. She thinks people should be happy with their circumstances and not seek to change them. It's frustrating. What does she expect me to do when she's gone? "Well you'll just have to deal with that when it happens." Argh!

Try regarding in different language, focusing on the self improvement aspects. She's reacting emotionally to subjective language.