AS + abusive parent?

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(I feel weird even just typing the word "abusive" in the subject line)

Is anyone else autistic with an abusive parent? I've only just begun (with the help of some friends) to realize that some of said parent's behavior can, in fact, be described as abusive. I have a bunch of things besides AS already, but now, my counselor and I think it's possible that I might have a form of PTSD as well. (I'm wondering if I have C-PTSD for a few reasons, including the fact that I haven't felt like a full person in many years.) The few friends that know have been WONDERFUL to me, but I also need to talk to someone who understands what it's like to have both. It also doesn't help that I'm currently still living in that situation.

I don't know too much about your situation but I know that I have PTSD from my childhood (possibly borderline personality disorder). I have a lot of mental health diagnoses, this one is the most difficult to deal with. The PTSD symptoms were adaptive when I was a child. Now they just keep me paralyzed. It is very frustrating.

Also undiagnosed AS can lead to PTSD, in my opinion. I didn't get diagnosed until I was almost 30. That's a long time to try, and fail miserably, at being an NT--being rejected and not knowing why, wanting to relate to people and not knowing how, trying to cover up your quirks so that you don't get yelled at, ridiculed, or given the cold shoulder, not to mention the job and school difficulties and the exploitation by more socially aware people. I don't think you need abusive parents to have PTSD. The world is traumatic enough for people with autism.

I am still a little torn by it-like I should balance it with the many positives, but I grew up tiptoeing around a family member's violent temper. I've overheard about physical abuse when I was very young, but I do remember incidents of some sexual abuse, and being ditched after an argument out of town to walk home (also left behind were two siblings and my mother, one sibling a toddler yet.)A lot of yelling, some wall punching. Even as a child, I viewed this as childish tantrums.

I have always been extremely avoidant, and always was quiet and out of the way for the most part. My mother also is avoidant, which leaves us with little communication ability. I still allow my kids to visit occasionally, but I prefer to avoid the messiness and have some peace.