How do I stop my family lying to me?

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smudge
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19 Apr 2017, 2:11 pm

It is literally driving me insane. Literally.

I'm shaking, and I can't take it.

They think they're saving my feelings from not telling me the truth, but they're f*****g up my world because it's turning it upside down, because they're telling me one thing and doing the complete opposite.

I'm in tears and I can't take anything. I want to die.

They would rather drive me insane than tell me the truth. It is killing me.


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ElabR8Aspie
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19 Apr 2017, 4:44 pm

smudge wrote:
It is literally driving me insane. Literally.

I'm shaking, and I can't take it.

They think they're saving my feelings from not telling me the truth, but they're f*****g up my world because it's turning it upside down, because they're telling me one thing and doing the complete opposite.

I'm in tears and I can't take anything. I want to die.

They would rather drive me insane than tell me the truth. It is killing me.


Hi there,

I understand and feel your pain and understand how frustrating it would be.
I dislike liars myself and can't stomach being lied to.

If it's a never ending cycle and they can't see there negative behaviours,is there a way,you can limit contact?
Or perhaps take a holiday and or get some time out.

Obviously,it's a detriment to your own mental health and well being.
Look at other options,if they can't see there error of there ways.

Otherwise it's a wash setting on repeat and flogging a dead horse.

Good luck :heart:

Ps.In the mean time,accept the things you can change,accept the things you can't change and the wisdom to know the difference.


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C2V
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21 Apr 2017, 8:21 am

So, they're trying to spare your feelings by lying to you?
How would they respond if you told them that whatever they're trying to spare you from cannot make you feel as bad as being lied to does? That you cannot stand it and would rather have the truth? That you cannot understand the inconsistent behaviour?
It's possible their motivations are kind ones. They don't want to upset you, perhaps. But is it possible they just don't understand how this affects you? Maybe it's a miscommunication.
I've had to do this myself - one relative interprets touching and hugging as nice and affectionate - it had not occurred to her that to me, being hugged feels like being crushed. She was not able to understand that hugging is not as nice for others, because it is for her. I just had to make it very clear. Maybe you do too? Just an idea.


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smudge
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21 Apr 2017, 8:43 am

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Iamaparakeet
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21 Apr 2017, 7:16 pm

Sorry for what you're going through. I've never been able to figure out how to stop anyone from lying to me, but I know it sucks to be lied to. It is annoying too when you point out their contradictions and then they act like they have a right to be upset when they're yet the wrongdoers.


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