How to address racism and racist bullying in the workplace?

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What do you guys think I should do and how should I address the issue of being subjected to racist cyberbulling that has to do with racial background?

This is what happened: I logged into Facebook, where I spend very little time, for I have but colleagues as friends there. I scrolled my page down, which I do rarely and noticed something odd in my favorites. There was an odd page which was dedicated to a minority group of ethnic origin. I have never seen such page let alone liked it. I realized that my colleague also liked it. So basically she has to have put it on my favorites, when I have apparently left my Facebook open when leaving the computer. We have shared computers at work. I am 100% sure I have not liked the page myself.

The thing is that one of my ancestors belonged to this miniority, but I've never said that to anyone at work. Not once. The thing has never meant anything to me and it certainly isn't something to mention specifically. But lately I've realized that some of my colleagues have mentioned this minority in very negative light and only now I realized that it might link to this.

What should I do? I am shocked and feel really odd, for I have faced a lot of bullying but never racism. I look more Finnish than most Finns and I don't identify with any group. Some of my relatives don't look ethnically very Finnish, and they have faced curiosity but also prejudices and bullying.

How should I face the colleague and bring the subject up? First of all I have no proof. I don't want the situation to end up getting worse. And there are kind of three issues here: 1) racism 2) cyberbullying (using someone's account) and 3) the very public nature of the bullying because everyone could see I liked such page, without me knowing and even without being my friends. I was also taken the right to keep my genes and background as my own.

Delete the errant "favorite" link, change your password and don't mention anything to your colleague. Sometimes, simply refusing to play along with insults (if it was intended as such; we don't know) torments some people more than confrontation. Besides, you admit that there is little evidence that the link was intentionally racist. Take the high ground and say nothing.

I will bring the subject up. I was just wondering, how I will do it. We shouldn't just ignore racism. That's the reason bullying happens in the first place.

If it's bullying, the colleague probably WANTS a reaction, a confrontation, a situation that can be manipulated.

Delete it, say nothing.

I don't think you can do much about other peoples' racism. It's sh***y old human nature, a demon everyone has to fight for themselves (and one that some people still choose to embrace instead).

It was intentional, but I just realized I am not afraid of confrontation at all. I've always had to stand alone on my own feet without soldiers and armour around, so I am not afraid of confrontation. The rare people who have in adulthood bullied me (almost all people who know me personally are really protective and nice to me), feared confrontation and thus used indirect ways. As an adult I've faced bullying only from people who don't know me personally, plus this thing.

This person at work does stuff to other people too and weaves webs. But I have no reason whatsoever to lick her ass by taking part in her games since my being and soul is not tied to her in any way.

I asked couple of my friends in Facebook whether they had realized I was liking this type of group, and they said yes. Both thought that it was genuinely me and that I had some link to the group and wanted to tell something with it. To speak my truth which I have the right to (it is my account after all), I say it was done by someone else. I think I am not obligated to silence when someone else is speaking on my mouth.

I don't either see why you two would just leave it be. I am not talking about a hate campaign against her. My style is to say: Do you know that what you did is illegal and very wrong for these reasons. You see? It hurt and do not do it again.

If a kid is bullied in school, do we tell them: Oh, don't say it is wrong to the bully or don't talk to the teachers and parents. Just shut up and let the a**holes rule your world. Play their game. Well, the bullies might say that, but I'd say: Speak up, speak your truth! The biggest "weapon" against people like that is truth. People like that are liars, posers and gamers. And I can tell they will stumble to their own feet, if you just don't play the game. They fear truth the most, because it wins the human capacity to play, lie and deceive 100-0.

You describe how the other person acts similarly with others. This implies that the person enjoys provoking reactions from others. If this is the case, you are dealing with an attention-seeking bully who (for whatever reason) enjoys both the bullying and the attention (however limited between herself and her victims) she gets from the bullying. I wouldn't "just leave it be[,]" but I would rise to the bait, either. If it were me, I would defuse the bullying by deleting the offending link, and rob the bully of any attention she expects or is used to getting. I would make her ask why I had deleted the link. Only then, would I say anything about it, and limit myself to saying simply "I don't react to falsehoods and provocations." But, it is your problem, not mine. You are clearly able to do what you choose to do. Good luck.

I don't think she is all bad. She truly isn't. And it's not about wanting to bash her or hurt her back. But I believe that in truly realizing you have hurt, damaged and destroyed, lies also the seed to love, build and heal.

I have also done things I didn't realize were hurtful and sometimes when feeling hurt, I can be mean. The other person telling about how they felt and me telling why I did what I did, can help people grow, if it truly comes from the heart and is not about playing games. Saying sorry was the hardest word to learn, but it seems to be also the most important.

Thanks for both of your viewpoints. I appreciate them, even if after thinking about it, I decided to take a different approach.