Meltdowns

Post Reply New Topic

Ok. Recently I had a massive cock-up on an exam. It's not end of the world, but had thrown a wretch in many plans, social, academic etc. Now I have to repeat the year, not to mention now not taking the same classes as my friends/acquaintances. Trying to befriend people is already difficult, and now I even have less contact time!

So naturally, I am depressed. However, it is... random. One moment, I am sorta alright around my friends/peers, and then I have to cry in the shower or something. That or curling up in a corner of my room.

And then there's the bouts of anger - more like self loathing.

And the constant dread that I will end up alone again.

I am trying to keep it under control; so far I managed not to have a breakdown right in front of my mates (they have busy scehdules), but had already booked in for counselling, hopefully before it spirals out of control.

No suicidal thoughts just yet, but maybe I should let my friends keep multi-tools and knife just in case?!

I don't know...
Any thoughts, suggestions etc?

It sounds like you're under a lot of stress right now and your emotions are at the surface. I would take care to be kind to yourself, eat healthy, exercise, etc. You may find it relieves the tension that is making you have more meltdowns (if they are, it sounds more like emotions than meltdowns to me). I know this because I go through the same thing under a lot of stress. One thing about life, nothing is a mistake and everything will work out in a way that helps you grow if you are patient with it. It may not always be pleasant however! Perhaps when you repeat the year you can take a fun class or extracurricular to help combat the depression you feel over the last year.

Thing is, it has been going on for a month now. Frequency is random (probably depends on how I am feeling).
Worst record is 3 days in a row.

I have maintained extracurricular activities and routine. It's that some days I wake up and feel completely hopeless: the usual "everything is s**t. I am s**t. Everyone hates me" kind of stuff. The occasional overwhelming negative thought.

And add the fact that I still find people difficult to read: are they treating me with polite contempt, or are they my friend?

So many questions, uncertainties.

To say I am frustrated and emotionally confused is an understatement...

Anyways, thanks for the advice...