Rants

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So, it's my senior year. And i can't even enjoy it. I know a good portion of you probably had little to no friends in school, but here me out. Imagine having the principal from "The Breakfast Club" as an autistic support teacher. may or may not be watching me right now through my computer(i changed my email address, hoping this would help my paranoid insecurity.) I used to have real friends, but now i have people with the personality of 5 year olds as my friends. I go out to mainstream classes, but the only connection to the "smart kids" is no longer in my school. I ride a van that never gets cleaned. Luckily, one of the higher functioning kids in that room rides the van with me. Another kid who is the definition of spectrum rides the van with me. He's okay, but he's extremely rude and obnoxious. I know I am also sometimes rude and obnoxious, but the teacher calls ME out specifically for it, and no one else. The teacher als o had the balls to tell me that the girl i was talking to did not "have time for me"( she has a baby, so i can see the argument, but if I'm going to be told this, i want to hear from the GIRL'S mouth, not some sadistic Autistic support teacher who acts like she's better than all the other teachers.) Since we had 2 consecutive snowdays where I live, plus the weekend, i guarantee one of the kids is going to be throwing a baby tantrum(they're not meltdowns, they are aware of what they are doing) my case manager was NOT invited to the IEP meeting i had a few months ago. I've put up with bullying my whole school life, and now it's finally coming from the people who should be helping me. The teacher is very open about how "those kids are smarter than me". The kid I mentioned as being the definition of spectrum is able to repair clocks. But apparently, sports lineup trivia and crying over not getting a playroom is smarter than being able to get a 100% on a paper about a book you only read 2 chapters of. One kid goes out to classes and has a bad habit of crying and eating his snot. I'm expected to roll dice these kids held. Sorry if i sound like a shallow @$$hole, but I went into that room with more friends and social confidence than i have now. I watched kids hit themselves whenever they started crying, and now I stim by hitting myself, like these kids do. I am periodically treated like a little kid(I'm stuck walking in lines like in elementary school). We get punished like little kids.( That was disrespectful, move back to start) OH I"M F@#$ING CRUSHED!! ! WHAT'YA GONNA DO NEXT, PUT ME IN THE TIME OUT ROOM( They seriously give these kids time outs, even the smart ones) I got threatened with arrest by the teacher for non-compliance) Sorry if I'm an autism bigot, but I am treated like a little kid. EVERY DAY!! ! I am sick of it. In my first year in that room, the teacher made sure i couldn't talk to a kid I was easily becoming friends with. All because I was drawing on my binder. OH GOD F@#$ING FORBID!! ! The aids have noticed how hostile the main teacher is, and told me not to get flustered over it.(She interrupted my morning routine) I'm sick of being bullied by the teacher, ignored by peers, and being held back from my true potential. For example, I am surprisingly good at sports like hockey and badmitton, but instead, what do i play? F@#$ING PARACHUTE!! ! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? All it was for me this year was improvised sports made specifically for ret*ds!! ! THAT'S GODDAM RIGHT!! ! I SAID ret*d!! !! I don't get it anymore. The teacher called me scared about graduating. I couldn't be more F@#$ING happy to graduate and get out of that SHITEHOLE of a classroom. Did I mention we do kareoke, and we have no choice but to participate, no matter how bad we are at singing, or how shy we are. Then there BRING A DR. SEUSS BOOK DAY!! ! Also, remaining quiet while listening to a teacher is defiant, according to the head autistic support teacher. She also has a habit of instigating the kids into throwing fits. She one time even brought a high functioning kid i will never see again, to tears. That's how much of a b***h she is. I am always isolated and placed with the "special kids" I wanted to go to a halloween pep rally and you wanna know what I did instead of making friends? I MADE f*****g CHRISTMAS CARDS!! ! ON HALLOWEEN!! !! I wish someone would come into my classroom and shoot everyone in there, including me. I always wanted to die violently anyway. Probably the only way I'll be remembered, as a statistic. I know i'm going to catch hell for what i just said, but i don't care and i WILL NOT take it back!! ! I'm so angry I just realized until now I keep making lowercase "I's". GOD I needed to let that out! I hope someone is understanding. I probably sound stuck up after typing this. Post what you want to say. I hate school, oh well. Thank god I'm graduating this year.

I once read somewhere that eating snot is good for the immune system.

Seriously, I think you just need to not care about what they do. I found a lot of people in school to be highly ignorant. One time they even tried to get a pregnant teacher to sit on a pin. They were all sick.