There are two recurring dreams I've been having. One of them for only a few weeks, the other one I've had three or four times the last month or two. I had both of them last night, and they were weirder and more disturbing then ever. I woke up from one dream and went to get some water, when I came back and went back to bed I had the other dream... I don't ever remember having any recurring dreams before in my life, now I've got two.
My first dream (I've had this one once a week for the past three weeks) I'm getting arrested. I was bowling and a guy in the next lane over was being extremely rude. I had been drinking slightly (I'm underage), and raised my voice when I suggested that he keep his rude comments to himself. Seconds later two cops walk up to me and ask me to go for a ride. This dream doesn't always take place at a bowling alley, in fact I'm usually minding my own business and police randomly come up to me. In one dream I had, I'm in my room when two police officers open my door and tell me I'll be trying their new and improved breathalizer.
This is really creeping me out. I did have an incident with underage drinking quite some time ago back when I was in the army (got out last week). Some guys invited me to go to a club, one of them leaves a drink by me and... Two minutes later I'm not even buzzed but I'm in a private room being asked if I knew what was in my drink. For two weeks I worked from 6 AM in the morning till 10 at night (As punishment, luckily the police were never involved), that was about three months ago. This dream scares the bejesus out of me, every time I wake up I'm genuinly thankful its just a dream.
The other recurring dream is one of temptation. I'm a virgin, and I won't lie being 19 especially during my time in the army I've been almost constantly reminded of the fact that I'm still a virgin and how great sex is. Another thing I won't lie about is the fact that I've never been anywhere near actually getting sex. Some religious guys talk about purity and stuff, they use their religion as a reason they have not lost their virginity (This is usually followed by tales of how beautiful women tried to tempt them into having sex in a wide variety of extremely unlikely situations). I'll admit I find the idea of purity interesting but at my age even without sex and drugs theirs no way I can call myself pure. With what I've seen and done in my lifetime theres no way I can claim in good concious to have any sort of purity within me.
If any female up to this point in my life had offered to have sex with me, I probably would have said yes. When other guys ask me if I would have relations with an unattractive female we know I always say I wouldn't but its never true... To this date I've met no females within 5 years my senior age or two years my junior that I would not sleep with (Relatives don't count).
Why then, is is that every time someone asks me that question, and I say no I wouldn't do her... Do I have a dream that she makes an offer. In the army there was one girl in our company that was... She was about as unattractive as a girl could be without being gross. Guys would always ask if I would, and I always said no. For several months I've been having dreams that she asks me. The first couple I said no because other people were around in my dream... Last night I said yes, and just when I said that, she walked off. I followed her for a few steps then the dream fades out.
I can't help but wonder if there is some kind of deeper meaning to this dreams. It seems as if there is some hint of irony within them that I don't have the luxury of grasping. If someone has any advice, opinion, or the ability to put this into perspective for me I'd be greatly obliged.
30 Mar 2007, 9:30 pm
