Keep worrying about getting married

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Me and my partner both so badly want to get married next year, but I keep on stressing out about all these social norms. Like, who do I invite to the wedding, other than family? Do I have to invite work colleagues? Do I have to expect everybody at work to put in money for me and buy me things and pass a card around? Does all that base on how popular you are? OK I'm not lonely at work, I fit in well, but something tells me that people probably wouldn't waste their time and money on someone like me, and that hurts. My partner, on the other hand, will receive lots of fuss from his colleagues and friends, and so that would make it look like no-one likes me or something. I told my mum that I won't expect everyone at work to get me all these things for my wedding, but she said it's what people do. So I don't know how to feel about this really.

Somebody at work is getting married this week-end, and everybody has given her lots of gifts and money and stuff, even though all these people weren't invited to her wedding. But I don't know if the same rules apply depending on how popular a person is.

God it sucks to be unpopular. I know a lot of social norms, but I really get confused with all these social rules when it comes to weddings. My partner is NT and has a lot of friends so he will probably want a big reception. I would like that too, but I might feel embarrassed or upset if I don't receive anything from outsiders or if any outsiders even turn up. I know I shouldn't worry about how many friends I have, but I do. It eats me up all the time.

The wedding is about you and your fiance and sharing it with your closest friends and family. Inviting people you're not that close to is expensive and will just distract you on the day as you'll worry if they're having a good time. Small wedding = more money to spend on the honeymoon and make it a memorable once in a lifetime experience you share with someone you actually care about. Save a tier (or half a tier) of your wedding cake and slice it up for people at work for when you get back to thank them for anything they get you. Weddings are like babies in a work environment, most people contribute regardless of popularity as it is a happy event and cheers people up even if they're not involved without expecting any payback.

Hi Joe:

You invite who you want to invite. I think your closest work colleagues would be honored to be invited. When a person is invited to a wedding, it is proper that they bring some kind of gift; it doesn't have to be expensive, though--just something pertinent to the new house/apartment that you will be moving into.

It seems like things are going well for you. Perhaps, after you're married and are successfully raising kids, you won't be so mad at Asperger's any more.