Things that I can't understand that have offended NTs

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Since childhood, I have learned some social skills and don't offend NTs as much as I used to. Still, there are things that I have done in the past that I can't for the life of me figure out why an NT (or anyone) would get offended by this and make fun of me for this:

1. Asking if they're ok.
2. Asking about a meeting they're going to and trying to take an interest in their life.
3. Asking what funny happened on a show they were watching.
4. Offering to help with something.
5. Trying to discuss Batman with them when they're holding a disk of "Dark Knight Rises"
6. Telling them I'm sorry that their pet has died.
7. Sitting on a couch and watching the weather channel (this was my dad and psychotic step mom; I'll write more about them in another post).
8. Consoling a girl at work who thought she was overweight.


Why might these things be socially unacceptable?

Anyone have any more?

My answer is: people are sometimes funny about things.

1. I don't EVER like to be asked if I'm ok. I feel like the person asking might think I'm weird, dumb, ret*d, crazy, etc.

2. NT's would interpret that as "being nosy."

3. I believe they might be enjoying the show, and hate to have questions asked of them during it. Maybe ask during commercials.

4. Many NT's, unless you're close with them, do not trust somebody who offers to help. This is because people who have offered to "help" have turned out to be criminals. However, if somebody obviously needs help (such as when a person falls down and hurts his/her self), I wouldn't hesitate to offer my aid.

5. Maybe they don't feel like discussing "Batman" at that moment. Does "Dark Knight Rises" have anything to do with Batman? If not, the person might only feel like discussing "Dark Knight Rises" at that moment.

6. I think this depends on the NT. Some NT's, if you're not close with them, do not want to be consoled by you at any time. They think it's somehow an invasion of their privacy.

7. Now that's nuts!

8. NEVER give an indication that you KNOW that a woman is overweight. Stay away from the topic all together (unless she brings it up)--Unless she's a really, REALLY close friend. Women are also self-conscious about their ages.

Yeah 7 was nuts. My dad married a very vicious psychotic woman and he always agreed with her. More on that later.

Watching the Weather Channel is considered a "nerdy" activity.

I could spend hours watching it (not now, though, since they don't do the weather all the time any more!)

My wife always wonders why I like to watch the Weather Channel and C-Span. I especially enjoy watching "The Prime Minister's Questions."

I am NT. I don't really understand why these things offended anybody or caused them to make fun of you for it either. However, to be honest, I am an NT who is probably a lot more direct than a lot of people and probably would not be able to be good friends with people who get offended so easily. I also live in an area where people are more direct, in general, and have been accused of being "too loud" talking "too fast" and being " too direct" when I have been in other parts of the country, but here am considered somewhat shy. So, I don't know where you live, but I am aware that the unspoken "social rules" can be very hard to figure out in some places.

The only one that stuck out, is the woman who felt that she was overweight. If you consoled her by saying something like "you're only a little chubby" or, "you can always go on a diet", that would be a social "no-no" for most every woman I know. Most women want to hear how "great they look" in that situation, it is usually that they are fishing for a compliment in that situation.

The other thing I thought of is possibly they felt the manner in which you said/ did these things was odd? I don't know.

Many people (I have found) are just really weird and carry around all these pent up feelings and personal issues that they haven't resolved and are just waiting to find a reason to be offended so they can unleash a little. Often, if they find anyone "odd" in any way, they feel it threatens their own desperate attempt to be "normal" and "not make waves." It makes no sense, but it's the way many people operate.

However, there are also plenty of us NTs who do not get offended easily, do not care if you are not acting exactly like everyone else and prefer a direct approach. I don't necessarily like being asked if I am o.k. either, but if I feel a question is getting too personal, I usually just say "I'm fine" or say "I can't really talk about it", but the question itself would not offend me- because it's just a question.

Thanks for the advice. The weight thing was a woman who thought she was overweight. (She was a little thick and maybe more so than some of friends, but otherwise fine). I just told her that she wasn't, and all women think they are. I probably should have not said anything.

It enrages me also that people at where I used to work or in my family are much more eager to reprimand me for something than others. The fact that I'm an Aspie is only part of it; there's also the fact that I'm somewhat timid and don't like confrontation. I need to work on that as well, but that's a subject for a different message board.

The Weather Channel one involved me sitting on their couch in the main room (I'm telling you my stepmom (ex now) was nuts!! !! )

Fitzi, I promise that, while I have been hurt by NTs, I don't assume that they are all the same; Many have been kind and helpful to me. I don't lump them all together as hateful or exclusive as that would cause me to do the very thing I have complained about. Thanks for the help, and I can tell that you are not a typical NT.

It's because of life experience, making use of my cognition, and having done all those things at one time, and receiving similar responses as Graduate.

3. Asking what funny happened on a show they were watching.

I can see why this would be annoying, you dont want to explain something and miss the next dialogue.
Also its just a pain to explain things while watching TV.

Dark Knight Rising is a Batman movie. Heath Ledger played the Joker. I only know this because I was trapped in a Best Buy years ago and they kept looping a clip of it that sent me into a state of freakout.