I'm going to commit suicide

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Methinks his choice of this forum was intentional; just look at how many people have responded sympathetically so far!

You know that I'm alive anyways, so I might as well post here. I can't prove it, but I really did almost commit suicide a couple of nights ago. I had a whole bottle of benzodiazepines ready to take, and I had already written out a suicide note. The benzos would have caused me to go unconscious and drown in my bathtub. If I had survived, I probably would have just woken up a few days later, with no major damage; as long as I wasn't rescued during the 5 minutes, until total brain death, while I was actually drowning. I had everything ready, and then decided not to go through with it.

I'm not going to put all the details of my situation on here, but I will tell you that I've just told my psychiatrist everything; and I'm going to get a court order to have my posts removed. I'm also going to sue Alex for psychological injury, as I've stated before. I'm not going to post anything more on this forum, because it stresses me out, so don't expect any future responses from me, to your comments.

For someone who's made such a big deal about having public posts, it's a bit strange to publicly post about something as personal as suicide.

And when someone says 'If you don't do this I'll (harm/kill) myself', they're being manipulative.

I had no other choice. I had asked multiple times, for them to delete my posts, and they refused every time. I was hoping that maybe I could create some outrage by posting about it on here, that would force them to delete my posts, but it didn't work. I'm not going to say any more. My psychiatrist says to stay away from this forum. I don't want to read anymore of your apathetic, critical comments.

Please lock this thread, so I don't feel tempted to come back and read anymore of them. Though I imagine the moderators won't even do that, since they seem to enjoy harassing me so much. Why is it so hard for you to believe that I'm really serious about this?

On May 14 of last year I took enough pills to do it and I was on life support for a couple of days. The pumped me full of charcoal and I survived. Suicide had always been an option of something that I would resort to as a solution. When I woke up in the hospital I have never felt like that in my life. So even if you think you can do it you might not be successful in it and you will possibly be far worse off than you were before. If you are currently see a dr and be honest with him that you are contemplating suicide. Only you can make the choice of whether or not to get help. I would suggest that you do from personal experience. Things are not so bad that you can't get help and adjust your meds. Trust me I know from personal experience.

Locked threads are still readable.

Why are you not being taken seriously?

1) Maybe it's because it seems that most people who actually commit suicide don't hold their own lives hostage against what they really want.

2) Maybe it's because you have previously threatened legal action if your demands are not carried out, which lends further support to the idea that you are more interested in obtaining certain results than in ending your own life.

3) Maybe it's because you have not expressed a specific plan by which you intend to carry out your threat.

But if you are serious, then seek help from a crisis-intervention counsellor. We're just a collection of amateurs here, with little or no formal training in counseling or suicide prevention.

Please dont kill yourself I know its hypocritical for me to say that because i get in the same mood and have thoughts of suicide fairly often but realize that if you do a lot of your close friends and family will be sad and hurt not to mention the mess you leave behind for others to clean up. There is so much to live for even though times are tough if yo die you wont experience the wonderful things life has to offer ahead like finding a soul mate or something simple like having fun like camping and such. Please dont do it.

Actually, XFilesGeek was deleting your posts in the beginning, but you kept asking for more and more, and really, do you even have in mind what it means to remove that many posts, one by one? Do you think we have 800 minutes for your posts plus the time needed for those who responded to you or quoted you?

When we have spam sprees of about 100 posts it takes hours to remove them all....I don't have so many hours on my disposal, and I don't think other mods have either.

I have a family and an infant daughter to care about, and I'm sure the other mods have lives, too.

Nobody is harassing you, you are trying to coerce us by very manipulative means to abide with your wishes.

I can lock this thread and I can ban you so that you aren't tempted to read this any more. How about that?

Booyakasha is right about how busy things can get in a world with our degree of interconnectedness. Today I'll be doing paperwork until my eyes bleed to go contract at absurdly low rates for a gigantic corporation. You're probably reading my post on one of their products. In any case I was not exagerating my ability as a hacker but I am guilty of omitting just how much demand folks like me face. I don't have a life, I'm merely here to hasten the robot coup de etat. Anyways here's a free download in case you're in the DIY mood:Click me

Why won't they delete your messages? Were your messages really personal or something? Are you contemplating killing yourself just because this site won't delete your messages? How bad are the messages? Do they, for example, reveal your private information or something? If not, I'd say, just let it go. I read that comments are never deleted so one has to be careful what they write. I don't know why there isn't that option. Can you close the other account and if not why? Why do you think this site is so bad? Is it simply because the moderators won't delete your comments from your other account?

If this is just a power struggle thing, I would not threaten to harm yourself like this; it is not worth it. Seek professional help. Just my opinions.

^It's a lot easier to eat server space into forever than it is to overwrite server space. Writing a bot to accomplish this task, even if I were a mod could take over a month.

why dont you delete his posts ?

Hi OP, where you mention a stressful, mundane life, you have described that very well. Thank you for the gift of good communication. I have experienced that kind of bleak horizon. Where I'm tasked out, where there are all these demands, where there's no upside, when I'm not connected to other people when goddamn I have so much to offer.

Please stay alive. Please stay alive in the larger world. And please stay alive as a person on the Spectrum broadly defined including interesting all kinds of other interesting, colorful, off-beat people.

I for one think they should delete your posts upon request even if it's a fair amount of work. They should see if they can find a moderate who will volunteer.

And they damn sure should change your user name upon request.

And this is actually one more reason we need a variety of Aspergers-Autism Spectrum sites.

I only requested that they delete 5 threads and 1 post. I don't know why they're making such a big deal about it. Do me a favor and keep sending spam messages to Alex and the moderators, until they do as I ask. Also, create a bunch of crap threads, just for the hell of it, as a means of protest.

He won't do it.

You can give yourself and us a favour and stop with this nonsense.

maybe this thread is ready for locking.