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Stereokid
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15 Mar 2007, 12:15 pm

Deleted for good.

Last edited by Stereokid on 17 Mar 2007, 11:06 am, edited 4 times in total.

Flow
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15 Mar 2007, 3:19 pm

This might help, but no guaranties :!:

1) Study for biology. Ask the teacher for help or get a tutor. (I know it is hard (both the biology, and asking for help) but try)

2) Maybe your parents will let you go to school dances.

3) Try inviting some people over your house in small groups (like the people who have invited you to parties) when your parents are home, you can do something easy , like watch TV or play video games. Make sure your parents get to know the people, so that they can realize that they don't do drugs.

4) Show our parents that you are responsible and can resist peer pressure.

5) See if you can host a party in your yard, or someplace else with your parents supervision.

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jimservo
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15 Mar 2007, 7:00 pm

Stereokid wrote:

fortunately (or not), poor grades often have consequences. Perhaps you can work out some kind of arrangement that if you improve your grades gradually you can get to do some of the things you want.

Stereokid wrote:

Also, I read on a post on this website that an autistic kid at the age of 17 was allowed to host a party at his house. Oh, that's so great to know, you know why?! !! ! Because I have Asperger's Syndrome, and my parents don't want me throwing any parties at my house because we don't have enough space, and my mom assumes that it will get out of hand

I don't know much about your situation. Have any previous parties you have had gotten out of hand? I understand that autism is a disability however it is important to understand that is not some kind of excuse for extra special treatment for something like extra parties.

Stereokid wrote:

Worse yet, in my senior year of high school, I got invited to a party that was being hosted by a freshman in my TV class, and my parents didn't let me go because they were worried about there being drugs there, and when I complain that I never get invited to any parties, or about not being allowed to go to any, or about the fact that I have never hosted one before, my mom tells me about how my sister has never been to a house party before. SHE'S NOT AUTISTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! ! Her social skills are already good enough! This stuff doesn't bother her!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !

It's important to take other people's considerations into account as well. I would encourage you not to use autism as a sort of weapon. That is likely only to achieve negative results.

Stereokid wrote:

My life sucks!! !! ! If I never learn how to host a party and keep it under control, then when I'm out in the real world, and we discuss the company party, then I'll be too nervous to suggest having it at my house!! !! I'm JUST A KID

I suggest you relax. You need to handle things step by step. As you say, you're just a kid.

new_guy_64
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Joined: 1 Mar 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 178
Location: My own world.

15 Mar 2007, 7:02 pm

Stereokid wrote:

My Life Sucks! I got a 62 on a biology quiz today, and if I get any more bad quiz grades, I'm stuck retaking this biology course this coming summer, which means that I won't be able to go to the beach with friends like I had dreamed about. Instead, I'll be stuck in my room studying my ass off, and then all the free time I do have will be spent doing dorky things with my family!! !! WHYYYY M<EEEEEEEEEEEEE!! !! !!???????????????? <has mental meltdown.

Also, I read on a post on this website that an autistic kid at the age of 17 was allowed to host a party at his house. Oh, that's so great to know, you know why?! !! ! Because I have Asperger's Syndrome, and my parents don't want me throwing any parties at my house because we don't have enough space, and my mom assumes that it will get out of hand. EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !

Worse yet, in my senior year of high school, I got invited to a party that was being hosted by a freshman in my TV class, and my parents didn't let me go because they were worried about there being drugs there, and when I complain that I never get invited to any parties, or about not being allowed to go to any, or about the fact that I have never hosted one before, my mom tells me about how my sister has never been to a house party before. SHE'S NOT AUTISTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! ! Her social skills are already good enough! This stuff doesn't bother her!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !

My life sucks!! !! ! If I never learn how to host a party and keep it under control, then when I'm out in the real world, and we discuss the company party, then I'll be too nervous to suggest having it at my house!! !! I'm JUST A KID< AND MY LIFE IS A NIGHTMARE. NOBODY CARES ABOUT ME!! !! !

I'm not going to join your pity party. Sorry.

hyperbolic
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15 Mar 2007, 7:17 pm

The way it sounds, maybe you SHOULD be in your room studying all the time instead of going to parties...

Stereokid
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16 Mar 2007, 11:14 am

The reason why I fumed is because I studied my ass off for that quiz, and I still got a low grade. SOrry for not mentioning that. I also want you guys to know that I'm not fuming just to get attention. sorry.

shadexiii
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16 Mar 2007, 11:20 am

Flow wrote:

This might help, but no guaranties :!:

[space saving snip]

I basically have similar advice...for the first part if nothing else.

1) Study. Or study more. Or get a tutor. Do something to get help in learning the material if it isn't coming easily to you.

2) Join the club, my parents didn't lighten up any until I was in college some 1200 miles away. Your parents are overbearing because they care about you. (If this isn't the case, if they have shown / said they don't care about you, ditch them once you are able...)

There's a lot more to the social world than parties, and believe me, it isn't always a bad thing to not hold one at your place. If you do, furniture could be damaged, trash could be thrown everywhere, and you could even have someone steal things. There's not a guarantee of it, but there's no guarantee against it.

3) Comparing your life to the lives of others is a pointless endeavor. If you aren't happy with where you are, work on changing it. Don't use the lives of others as some method of "setting the bar."

Shleed
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Joined: 15 Mar 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 244
Location: Ireland

16 Mar 2007, 1:06 pm

new_guy_64 wrote:

Stereokid wrote:

I'm not going to join your pity party. Sorry.

Same. Quit whining, life's life.

I absolutely hate when people do attention seeking shite like this.

new_guy_64
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Joined: 1 Mar 2007
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16 Mar 2007, 4:54 pm

guys, just ignore this. I believe that people should be helped with their problems, but this is just petty in my opinion. OMG, I'm failing at biology! OMG I couldn't go to a party! My life SUUUUCKS!! ! This is about as serious as breaking a nail. I don't mean to hurt your feelings man , but you need to toughen up and face life.

calandale
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16 Mar 2007, 7:17 pm

Oh what right? You have no idea what little things trigger someone else's misery. Just lay off if you can't help. I couldn't even be bothered to read the post, because it was written unintelligibly. Maybe the best advice to give is DON'T USE ALLL CAPPS AND LOTS OF ! !!1111!! ! crap if you want people to take you seriously.

new_guy_64
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Joined: 1 Mar 2007
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16 Mar 2007, 9:10 pm

calandale wrote:

You describing me? If you are, then you're the one who needs you lay off.

calandale
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16 Mar 2007, 10:44 pm

Not about the caps and such, and less about the rest than some of the others. I guess there were two points -

Someone might be crying out for help here - it's not a great idea to just jump down their throats
telling them to stop wining about it.

I am not going to be bothered to read a post that contains a bunch of capital letters and such in
it. That may be part of the reaction that we see, except made a little bit abusive. If a person
wants to be understood, they ought to show enough respect for those they are communicating
with to post something readable.

Graelwyn
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17 Mar 2007, 1:19 am

new_guy_64 wrote:

calandale wrote:

Oh what right? You have no idea what little things trigger someone else's misery. Just lay off if you can't help.

You describing me? If you are, then you're the one who needs you lay off.

I agree with Calandale. Who are you to judge how something affects someone? What affects one person badly, might seem very minor to another person, but that does not give anyone the right to invalidate it. This is THE HAVEN. It is specifically here for people to let off steam, seek solace and advice, not to be given useless one liners invalidating their feelings and troubles. I suggest it is better to not post than to post if all you can do is make the person feel worse. I know we are renowned for a lack of empathy but this is pure ignorance.

As to his exclamation marks etc, maybe that was their only way of showing their frustration and anger...did you consider that? Jesus, and now he has deleted his post... I wonder why?

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AlexandertheSolitary
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17 Mar 2007, 6:26 am

Shleed wrote:

new_guy_64 wrote:

Stereokid wrote:

I'm not going to join your pity party. Sorry.

Same. Quit whining, life's life.

I absolutely hate when people do attention seeking shite like this.

Like snappy one liners like that are not attention-seeking? His dismissal of the possibility of his sister minding the lack of parties as well (since when would her having better social skills, as if no neurotypicals had social issues, make her mind the lack of parties less?) does appear selfish, but there are an accumulation of things in Stereokid's life making it appear a living Hell. This may be a misleading impression (Hell would be a great deal worse) but it probably does not achieve much to dismiss his objections as whining. To be honest I do not understand the concept of a lot of parties very well; when I was in year twelve I was invited to a few girls' eighteenth birthdays (along with the rest of the year level) which was sort of good, but neither before or since have I really been into them (parties). And my slightly younger brother hosting parties here did not make the concept appear much more appealing, though some of his friends are interesting. I prefer smaller groups, though when I took part in musicals I enjoyed myself.

And it would be frustrating to feel that his study for biology had not payed off.

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new_guy_64
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Joined: 1 Mar 2007
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17 Mar 2007, 8:38 am

Graelwyn wrote:

new_guy_64 wrote:

calandale wrote:

Oh what right? You have no idea what little things trigger someone else's misery. Just lay off if you can't help.

You describing me? If you are, then you're the one who needs you lay off.

That's right, just blame it all on me.

AlexandertheSolitary
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17 Mar 2007, 7:32 pm

new_guy_64 wrote:

Graelwyn wrote:

new_guy_64 wrote:

calandale wrote:

Oh what right? You have no idea what little things trigger someone else's misery. Just lay off if you can't help.

You describing me? If you are, then you're the one who needs you lay off.

That's right, just blame it all on me.

Nobody blamed you for EVERYTHING. And you are not in a strong position to whine about blaming the victim. And the others have a point about this being the Haven. There is many a forum on Wrong Planet that has very little censorship. The Haven also gives a great deal of latitude for what severely depressed people can confide in others about and to some extent what they can scream and curse about; conversely it does have tighter restrictions on the sort of plain rudeness (not associated with emotional stress and the need to vent) that will be tolerated. The reasons for both positions in the Haven as distinct from say, Philosophy, Politics and Religion (not sure I got the order right there) or Love and Dating, Men's issues, Women's issues, adolescent forum, adult forum, general autistic discussion, random discussion, etc. should be fairly obvious, even if out condition can lead (but does not invariably do so) to a difficulty with empathy (though some neurotypicals are fairly lacking in this department - what's their excuse?

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You are like children playing in the market-place saying, "We piped for you and you would not dance, we wailed a dirge for you and you would not weep."

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