Lonely

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I am alone in this world, the only person that ever calls me is my mother, to ask for money. I had a few "friends", but they didn´t care about me, it was just chit chat, and about a year ago I stopped speaking with them, and they did the same. My life is always the same.
The days that I work, I wake up 2 hours before, I go to work and avoid speaking with my co-workers in the office, then I go home, watch tv and sleep, the days that I don´t work I don´t even leave the bed, I just watch TV. I wish life could be different. I manage to quit smoking 18 days ago, and I am sober for 2 months, but what´s the point? I should just grow a pair of balls and just kill myself.

I'm not good in giving advices or supporting people but I think you shouldn't feel this way or feel like killing yourself, if you have sibilings or family (you mentioned your mother so theres someone) try spending time with them even if you don't seem to enjoy it because I never enjoy being around my family but I feel a change after being with them which I think is good.

Thanks for the reply Zajie, I am living in other country and my mother was bad for me, leaving me sleeping in the street and emotionally abusing me for years, I forgive her because she is just a very sick person, I can send her money but I don´t want to spend time with her

My parents are emotionless and strict most of the time, I never have any real convos with any of them and I feel very disconnected from them, I remember being emotionally damaged by them because I thought they were mean sometimes but I don't mind their personalities now very much.
I hope you feel better (:

Hey WastedLife.

It can be, but it's going to require a lot of effort from you to make it better.



Congrats! Why did you decide to quit smoking and I'm assuming, alcohol? Reflect on your reasons for quitting and remember them if and when the urges come. Continue to set attainable goals for yourself and perhaps, consider counseling/therapy if you haven't already.