I dont get it!

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Why is it that NTs use sarcasm for humor its ok but when I use sarcasm Im instantly an a**hole?

*sigh* I don't get it, either.

I guess you learn with experience when sarcasm is appropriate and when it is not, and also the kind of people who would understand sarcasm. Hang in there.

I guess its only ok when NTs do it! *shrug*

I also don't get it. Do they all have Roseanne as a role model, or something? NT females are the worse for this.

Dear AspieOtaku,

The rules ARE different for aspies.

This was one of the hardest rules for me to learn.
We like to imagine that social situations are like basketball. Even though we play different positions, we all have the same rules. It's a bit more like baseball, where the team at bat plays a different game than the pitching team, and people at different positions have different roles.

You will have to figure out what role you'll play on the team, and part of that is learning to be a team player.

While I still am a master of sarcasm, I taught myself on very important thing about using it. Never be mean. I repeat, never be mean. I will point out the absurdities of life, the ridiculousness of workplace rules, and the stupidity of unnamed customers at the phone center where I work, but I will not poke fun at my co-workers. I refrain from speaking ill of absent acquaintances. If I realize that someone has taken offense at my jokes, I apologize immediately and don't do it again.

You will have to learn how the rules apply to you. I understand that it feels like you're getting the short end of the stick on this matter, but that doesn't have to be true. I worked at a bank where the dress code was shirts with collars and buttons. During my year of working there, I acquired an interesting collection of Hawaiian shirts. At my new job, I'm the guy in the Hawaiian shirt. I chose these shirts for their stunning garishness. When one of my co-workers said that it hurt just to look at one of my shirts, I responded, "I don't wear these shirts to offend you. I wear them to offend everybody." This was funny because a) she was not serious, and b) I responded to her comments in a way that diluted her anger by making it general rather than specific.

You need to find your place on the team, and it might be mascot.

I wish you only great good luck.

Sincerely,
Ikari Gendo

I'm a court jester; I take exception to the term "mascot!"

When sarcasm is used against someone in a face-to-face encounter, then the sarcastic individual is being an 'a__hole'; but if the sarcasm is directed at a third person instead, then the second person is more likely to wish that they'd thought of it first.

Be sarcastic about a political leader while he gives a press conference, and you're just blowing off some steam; but be sarcastic to that same political leader's face during the press conference, and he'll likely have you removed from the room.

It all depends on who the recipient is, and whether or not the recipient is present.

It is hard to discern sarcasm in writing when I cannot see the face of the person doing the writing.

Maybe Ill have to put on an NT mask and it will be ok! I come off as a human sour patch kid anyway otherwise! My mischief gets to me but followed by a soft heart! Gah!!