something i've noticed on dating sites

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sly279
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09 Mar 2015, 3:22 am

all the women are all successful. :( like I guess I'm the only person in my area who isn't a great success.

super depressing :(

you think there'd be some who are just making it but nope they all super successful.

wish I could just die even though I want to live. I know i should't live though. should allow people like us to join military. how dare they deny us the right to die in combat.



Sweetleaf
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09 Mar 2015, 4:10 am

sly279 wrote:
all the women are all successful. :( like I guess I'm the only person in my area who isn't a great success.

super depressing :(

you think there'd be some who are just making it but nope they all super successful.

wish I could just die even though I want to live. I know i should't live though. should allow people like us to join military. how dare they deny us the right to die in combat.


That is kind of weird....lol then again for the part of my OK cupid account that wants you to ad what you are doing with your life I say 'failing at it' which is also probably weird.


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886
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09 Mar 2015, 5:22 am

No they don't. They have to weed through about 100 trolls and another 100 just trying to get in their pants before they actually find someone in their inbox worth having a conversation with. You'd honestly be surprised if you knew the crap women have to put up with on those sites.

They're only more successful because men tend to have one standard when using online dating, be a female, have a pulse. Online dating is generally toxic anyways, hence why I don't use it.


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sly279
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10 Mar 2015, 2:22 am

meant more successful in life not dating.

as in they are going to a fancy college, have or are getting multiple degrees while working 1-3 high paying jobs, etc.

also how did you know my dating requirements :P
(joking about this ^)



886
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10 Mar 2015, 7:18 am

sly279 wrote:
meant more successful in life not dating.

as in they are going to a fancy college, have or are getting multiple degrees while working 1-3 high paying jobs, etc.

also how did you know my dating requirements :P
(joking about this ^)

Ohhh, I see, lol.

Well, I think if people are unsuccessful they're not going to brag about it on a dating profile.


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10 Mar 2015, 7:29 am

886 wrote:
No they don't. They have to weed through about 100 trolls and another 100 just trying to get in their pants before they actually find someone in their inbox worth having a conversation with. You'd honestly be surprised if you knew the crap women have to put up with on those sites.



But that's still "attention" nevertheless, and like 90% of the purpose behind those dumb sites is being a big-joke for women to get attention(and they all know it too).



886
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10 Mar 2015, 8:40 am

Venger wrote:
886 wrote:
No they don't. They have to weed through about 100 trolls and another 100 just trying to get in their pants before they actually find someone in their inbox worth having a conversation with. You'd honestly be surprised if you knew the crap women have to put up with on those sites.



But that's still "attention" nevertheless, and like 90% of the purpose behind those dumb sites is being a big-joke for women to get attention(and they all know it too).

Basically, almost everyone of both genders has an ulterior motive. I stay far away from those things as a result.


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sly279
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10 Mar 2015, 5:36 pm

886 wrote:
sly279 wrote:
meant more successful in life not dating.

as in they are going to a fancy college, have or are getting multiple degrees while working 1-3 high paying jobs, etc.

also how did you know my dating requirements :P
(joking about this ^)

Ohhh, I see, lol.

Well, I think if people are unsuccessful they're not going to brag about it on a dating profile.


well yes, which is why mine is blank. but its that i cant' find any blank ones they all have stuff to brag about as you say.
I have no hope of dating. death is my only future. hate to wish failure on others but i wish more women would be failures.



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10 Mar 2015, 6:49 pm

You found out that women all SAY they're successful on dating sites.


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sly279
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10 Mar 2015, 7:25 pm

why would they lie though, won't it just end the relationship once they start dating more and guy finds out?



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11 Mar 2015, 4:41 am

^^^
I'm sure the sheer number of messages they usually receive makes them feel pressured to often exaggerate, and sometimes blatantly-lie about how great/successful they are. Especially since they usually feel superior to the guys on there by default, so gotta have a nice-profile to back it up. :roll:



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11 Mar 2015, 9:05 am

I doubt it VERY MUCH that all these women have "multiple degrees" and "work 1-3 jobs."



pirateowl76
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12 Mar 2015, 1:02 am

Perhaps all the women who aren't that successful just feel too embarrassed/ashamed to post ads on such sites, because they see all this competition from successful women, and they fear the guys would reject them in favor of something better? :| Just a thought.

I know that's one reason I'd never ever post such an ad. Well, that, and the facts that I'm unattractive, and fat, and old, and hyper-avoidant, and boring, and messed up, and not interested in sex, which rules out, like, every guy for me. -_-



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12 Mar 2015, 6:31 am

sly279 wrote:
all the women are all successful. :( like I guess I'm the only person in my area who isn't a great success.

It makes sense that there's successful women on dating sites. They have trouble finding equally successful partners in real life. Online dating provides a much greater pool of candidates for them.

pirateowl76 wrote:
I know that's one reason I'd never ever post such an ad. Well, that, and the facts that I'm unattractive, and fat, and old, and hyper-avoidant, and boring, and messed up, and not interested in sex, which rules out, like, every guy for me. -_-

But you should. Obviously don't mention those things. There has to be something nice about you. It's not all about appearance, degrees, high paying jobs and sex, is it? Think about it, would you message a guy simply because he looks good or has a good job? There may be a quirky aspie guy out there who will never ever have a chance to meet you. :(



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12 Mar 2015, 5:59 pm

pirateowl76 wrote:
I know that's one reason I'd never ever post such an ad. Well, that, and the facts that I'm unattractive, and fat, and old, and hyper-avoidant, and boring, and messed up, and not interested in sex, which rules out, like, every guy for me. -_-


314pe wrote:
But you should. Obviously don't mention those things. There has to be something nice about you. It's not all about appearance, degrees, high paying jobs and sex, is it? Think about it, would you message a guy simply because he looks good or has a good job? There may be a quirky aspie guy out there who will never ever have a chance to meet you. :(


Thank you, but there's nothing good enough about me that it would attract anyone. :cry: Even in terms of platonic friendships they always fizzle out. Having personality traits in common isn't enough; the last forum I was on was an anxiety forum with lots of people much like me, and none of the guys there were interested in a woman like me. (I wasn't looking or anything, but I can't count how many times I would vent about this and then get the "You're not my type, BUT, surely there's someone out there for you!" line...I was never anyone's type. :x ) I imagine that if I browsed threads around here where guys say what they're looking for in a woman, I would not meet any of their requirements either. I'm not bitter about it; that's just how it is. I would probably find most guys here incompatible too.

I agree, I don't care that much about a guy's looks or success (what would I talk about with him?? :? ), but I have yet to come across anyone so obsessively into my interests that I'd be attracted to him; I doubt such a guy exists. (That there is my absurdly high standard--the same interests and the same devotion to them. Even other people who do share my interests still want to chatter about random stuff, which I usually don't. :/ ) And even if he did exist, the whole asexuality thing would REALLY turn him off. There are so many better women out there to choose from, who actually have something to offer, even if it's just sex.

I've learned to put "Not looking" on my profiles everywhere to deter guys from trying and then getting angry with me when they find out that I don't want to make flirty smalltalk. (I have actually had guys get angry with me about this, like I misled them somehow. :| ) The flirting has only ever happened online...I attract no male attention IRL. And even online, the guys who flirt always say they were just joking, and the guys who seem friendly and super interested in getting to know me lose all interest within two weeks, and then I never hear from them again. I don't understand any of that at all.

By now, when a guy shows an extreme amount of interest in getting to know me, alarm bells go off in my head; I know he will start ignoring me soon enough. :(

Plus I have this unfortunate tendency to go on at length (just look at this stupid post ;_; ), and to feel the need to warn people about my flaws so they don't get their hopes up (again, I've had numerous people get angry when I wasn't what they expected me to be), so omitting such info from a profile would be a bad move...a guy would contact me, then get upset when I'm too shy to immediately befriend or flirt with him...I can just imagine all the angry messages I would get.

But anyway. Sorry about all that. :oops: I do appreciate the comment, but there is no one for me. I know I'm not unique in that, especially here; it's just that it gets me down sometimes. I wish I were a little less defective. :cry:



russdm
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13 Mar 2015, 1:06 am

pirateowl76 wrote:
But anyway. Sorry about all that. :oops: I do appreciate the comment, but there is no one for me. I know I'm not unique in that, especially here; it's just that it gets me down sometimes. I wish I were a little less defective. :cry:


Everyone is defective. It is the state of being human since if we weren't defective, we wouldn't be human at all.

I am also unattractive, overweight, and messed up. None of the women/girls I supposed to be interested in would be interested in me due to me being messed up. I have never attracted any females (not interested in men), except one girl and that was complicated ( Not discussing, I don't know the rest of you well enough). My interests are pretty much mostly undesirable with the girls/women I supposed to be looking for and the girls/women outside, I am not at all attractive for or I don't perceive myself as being.

Despite that, I still want someone. I have always heard the comment: "Be yourself" Being myself has produced no results of any kind. I will still try to improve, but I still know deep down that my screw-ups still make me undesirable anyway. Maybe there is actually someone who would want me, but it feels like something rare or almost a fantasy in the group of women I have been taught to want, and I know the other group won't.

I don't blame any woman for that though. It's all my faults/flaws, never them.