I need to forget the past

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Lately I've been getting upset. Sometimes I reach my breaking point and start crying. Other times I just raise my voice. When I was a teen people blamed "fantasy" on my behavior such as writing and demonology. I openly admit that I used to talk to book characters, but that was in 2010! It's 2015! I've been really worried that everyone thinks that I'm unstable and my doctor is going to tell my mom to take my video games.

First of all, I'm not a freaking idiot. I don't play Call of Duty and Mortal Kombat so much to the point where it would have the slightest effect on me. I don't even think that they would effect me if I did played them 24/7 which I'd get bored of Call of Duty and Mortal Kombat anyway and have to switch video games. Second, my mom said that the only way my video games would get taken is if I was incarcerated (that's how you spell it right?) and when I'm not upset I'm an easygoing and calm person.

I've been so worn out and sad lately I haven't had the energy to play video games. Sometimes my energy is so low to the point where if I hold my 3DS or a controller my wrists start to feel tired. Most of my day is spent in front of the computer listening to music or listening to my iPod. Listening to music is the only thing I have the energy to do. I deleted my entire 2nd book I was writing because the title involves incubi and people think it's "racy". I doesn't even have sex in it! Now I have to re-write it. I feel like people judge my series by the title when they haven't even read it and chances are the won't because I can barely type due to low energy.

I'm going to need some coffee. My fingers feel weighed down from all of this typing and I slept until 12:15 in the afternoon today or something like that.

I'm definitely an advocate of not allowing the past to affect my future.

If I let my childhood affect my adulthood to a great extent, I'd be paralyzed with sorrow.

I didn't even know crunkcore was a genre. Clearly you're aware of some good ways of ignoring precepts of reality. I've got audiophile homework...

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

All I'm saying is that strange derivative contemporary music is a great way of energizing yourself and blending into the present moment as opposed to ruminating upon how weird one must look in the eyes of others. I listen to TONS of similar stuff and that's my reason at least...

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos