I am strongly considering checking myself into a hospital for a psychiatric eval. I am not suicidal this second, but that can flip in a millisecond. Since finding out how angry family was when I was still in remission in November, and at the same time discovering that the person who spread lies and said I was faking breast cancer, was not the family member I suspected, but one that I love, it has been so hard. Their words, "If you just effing die LJ and Bobby and everyoe else would be so much better off," come crashig into my mind and I start believing them. Then I catch my reason but I am afraid I will not catch myself in time at some point. BTW, AutHaven went well.