Our cat may be dying soon

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Our tabby cat Chubs is 18 years old (my future MIL thinks she is a couple years younger). She originally belonged to my fiancé's late grandmother, but after she died, he adopted Chubs. Chubs and I share an incredible bond; I would feed her, give her water, and clean her litter box. I also enjoy giving her cuddles, especially after she "hugs" my arm as I lay on the couch with my iPad.

However, Chubs has been eating less and less, until she ate close to nothing. She also has been breathing in a shallow manner. We tried to change her diet many times, but not much has helped. Since nothing else could be done, we decided to put her down. I elected not to go, because it would be too much for me.

I wish I would have done more to make Chubs's life last longer (feed her through a syringe, not neglect her by playing video games, etc.). She usually liked having company, which was why she probably ate more, and I have been away a lot lately.

This is really tearing me up, even as I write this. How do I cope with this upcoming loss?

I am so sorry! It's hard to lose a friend, especially a close one who has always been there for you. Cats have always been some of the nicest people I've known.

How to cope? Embrace those who are still with you. Take long walks in sunshine and in rain. Cry. Eat your favorite foods, listen to your favorite music, and watch your favorite movies. Redecorate. Keep busy.

The idea is not so much to distract you from your grief, but to prevent you from getting lost in the doldrums.

Can you post a pic of Chubs?

Picture of Chubs



I was told by my fiancé that the vet said that it was a good thing we brought her to be put down. Otherwise, she would be in more pain from starvation. Also, she had kidney failure, so there was nothing else that could have been done. My mom offered condolences, which was nice.

It really doesn't help that we have another cat, Sammy, at the vet for constipation problems. He is doing fine, though, and we may pick him up later. I still miss Chubs, though.

Losing a pet is tough stuff, sorry you you're going through this. Be thankful Chubs lived a good long life and that you gave her a good home.

I never get why people feel the need to put down their pet because it might die soon? My last cat when out into the woods and simply did not come back...I imagine loading him up in the car to take him to strange people to do the job would have been an unpleasant way to go for that cat. I mean I guess i get if the pet is really suffering, but if they are just aging I don't see what is so wrong about a natural death...without the whole ordeal of taking it somewhere to be 'put down'.

That said it is sad to lose a pet you have grown attatched to, there is no way around the fact its going to be painful emotionally. And as much as this might sound conter-productive, maybe get another cat when she's gone...I know you may think it will just be too painful to bear, I kind of thought that to when my cat died but getting more cats actually kind of helps. Don't try and get one to 'replace' her like trying to find one that looks/acts the same that probably would just bring back the pain of her being gone....but get a different cat, different color...different breed whatever.

*edit....I guess in your case it does make sense to put the cat down...if starvation and kidney failure is the other alternative. Is she an inside cat?

I'm sorry for your loss, it is horrible losing ones pets.

To give some more background here:

Chubs' real name is Mandy, and she had a sister named Muffin (same litter) that was put down six years ago due to arthritis. To be honest, I was quite uncomfortable putting Muffin down since she seemed to be perfectly fine at the time (plus the fact that I only found out while we were at the vet), but with Chubs, it was her time. She only recently started going from being her usual self to ill within the past two weeks or so. She earned the nickname back when I "adopted" her in late 2011 by moving into my grandmother's part of the house (who passed away from liver failure a few months prior). At the time, she was heavily, heavily overweight. At least 25 lbs, if not more.

By changing her feeding regimen to once a day (instead of my grandmother's "whenever she meowed" approach), we managed to get her back down to a healthy weight, but the nickname stuck. Fast forward ahead a year or two (which would be around October of last year), and my fiancee (better known here as Witchscat) moved into the same space. Within a month or so, my fiancee quit her job (under all of our guidance -- they treated and paid her like total garbage. Most of them anyways. She deserves a ton better), and from that point on, she would spend almost all of her day upstairs with Chubs.

My Mom insisted I get her to mingle more and get more comfortable with the entire house, but I saw no need, so I never addressed the issue. Looking back, I'm VERY glad that's the approach I took, since it allowed my fiancee to spend that much more time with Chubs prior to her passing. It wasn't until about a month ago that my sister's family moved out. That's when my fiancee started coming downstairs to play video games, go on her iPad, etc. during the day to keep herself occupied. But at night, and in the morning, she would be upstairs, spending time with Chubs.

My fiancee shared a very, very special bond with Chubs, as stated. We have three other cats currently (one of which is probably going to move out soon since it's my sister's cat), one aptly nicknamed "wumpus", one named Molly, and one named Sammy. Sammy returned from the vet at about noon today (I brought him home), and while he's the most social of the bunch, my fiancee didn't spend nearly as much time with him as she does with Chubs. That's why it's so hard on her right now.

If there's any good news in all of this, it's that The usual life expectancy of our cats means we won't need to face this issue again for a few years. Only one of the "oldest generation" of cats remains (wumpus, which we aren't terribly fond of anyways)., the rest are under 10 years old, so they have quite a ways to go.

Thank you everyone for the condolences. I'm going to miss her, but my fiancee needs far more support than I do right now.

hugs. lost 2 cates year and half ago. mother and son. both had cancer.

hard to deal with the loss.

I am sorry that your pet became so ill, putting an animal to sleep is a very difficult decision and experience. It sounds like Chubs had a loving home, and a sweet life that you added to.
Do some nice pampering things for yourself, and maybe it would help to plan something different for the gap in your routine. ((Hugs)) Witchscat.

Thank you all for your condolences. They are very much appreciated.

Hugs to you.
You did the right thing.

When I went upstairs last night, it felt a lot emptier without Chubs. Her toys, bed, food/water bowl, and litter box had been removed by my future in-laws. Sometimes, I can't even look at a picture of her without shedding a tear.

I wish I knew what heaven is like for both humans and animals. And no, I am not contemplating suicide; I was just curious to know.

I've never been good at expressing myself in these kinds of situations. Never really know what to say.

But I found a nice picture, I'll let the picture do the talking

Good picture. Makes me sad.

We lost a parakeet last year. He developed a tumor of some kind. I opted to have them put him to sleep because I couldn't stand the thought of him continuing to suffer until he died.

I am sorry for your loss and I hope you have good memories and know you did the right thing.