To be homeless

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I don't have anyone to talk to about this, so I decided to post here.

I've been staying with some friends while I start a new career to support my family (my husband just left the military and we have 2 young children). I'm coming to regret this decision. We really didn't have anywhere to go, and I didn't have a job at the time I thought this would work out, but now after some 6 months I think the friendship is imploding.

I think it first started with my daughter. She's an autist like me; not officially diagnosed, but it's pretty obvious. She didn't take the change in location well, and my friend doesn't appreciate her behaviour. Thinks we coddle her when she's having troubles. Then there was the yelling fit about how we don't clean on their timetable, so I took it upon myself to do the chores.

Then the "incident" happened: my husband's PTSD was triggered, which triggered my friends PTSD, now she's about to kick us all on the street. Her husband convinced her not to, so crisis averted.

I got a job finally, and work 40 hrs a week now, and I've become lax in my chores of late. I'm exhausted from interacting with people all day and listening to sirens from the alarm systems, I'm not in the mood to interact with my kids let alone clean multiple rooms before bed. My husband does try to help, but his back is so bad he usually has to make the decision to save his back for tomorrow so I don't have to call in from work.

So we come home from doing errands a few days ago and she starts arguing with us- saying we lied because we said we'd be saving and we blew all our nest egg on junk and that's why we're having to get section 8 housing. My job just started and I do not make enough to support a family of 4 despite using most of our nest egg to pay off debts so we have none. I make $400 every two weeks and most places here where I am right now won't rent to someone who isn't making at least twice as much as the rent cost. There is no other way to have a roof over all our heads without help from social services, but for some reason this is our fault because my husband invested some of our nest egg into something that hasn't paid out yet, and we paid off almost every recurring bill we have. Sure we bought some frivolous things like toys for the kids, some DVDs to watch, but she's convinced pretty much everything we have with us we bought here (we didn't, we brought 2 cars worth of stuff)

So now after all this, and I'm packing things up for us to move into Section 8 housing, we get a call that the military will be wanting $400 a month to store our stuff. Husband is taking care of that now, finding anything that is cheap. I was to take care of the packing and the scrubbing as it was our family living in these rooms. I came back from work today to see where I was packing all done and the room where the girls were staying cleaned out completely. Now my friend says he and the girls are no longer welcome back -she found a sticky food item in there and that's something she did tell us she didn't want (also the first time it's happened).

Now here's my conundrum: should I just keep doing as usual and just get us into housing and call it that, or should I just leave now, as I really don't want to stay in a place where my family isn't welcome? I'd be technically homeless, but how can I stay when she won't let my family here?

I've been in situations similar to this often enough to let you know that the situation will continue to deteriorate until you move out..... she will continue to find one thing wrong after another, and her nerves are frazzled as well.

Some friends they are....sounds like they turned from friends to b*tchy landlords upon you guys moving in. Where would your family be if you keep living there longer? I'd say certainly get into the housing, but I don't know if I was in that position I probably wouldn't be able to stay at my 'friends' after they rejected my family while said family wanders the streets...I'd rather be homeless with them. If you for sure have the option to get into the section 8 I suppose I'd say just do what you need to, to make due till you can move.

Also though I am confused why would the military be charging you to store your stuff...if you've packed it to move into section 8 housing wouldn't that mean you're bringing your stuff into the housing rather than keeping it in storage? Or do you mean you have to have it stored until you get into the housing?

Either way sorry you're in this situation...I have not been entirely homeless yet, for a while though I didn't have a bedroom anywhere. But my dad, brother and some other people I know have been so I know it sucks, but I also know there is hope to get through it.

I know she's not trying to be terrible. We've done some stuff to piss her off, usually it being not doing chores on her timetable. And I understand that her timetable is very important to her. I just don't know how she even begins to think throwing my husband and kids out -even during a time when we have other arrangements- will not affect the friendship. I suppose I'm just tired trying to take care of my family and please her at the same time. Sorry to rant all over everyone here I just didn't have anyone else to do this with.

Depending on where you're located, you could probably store your stuff for less than $400. There are places in NYC where you could store stuff for $29 a month. I guess it depends how much stuff you have. I would bet, though that the $400 figure is excessive.

Good luck with the Section 8. I'm pretty sure you had to get on a waiting list.

I'm sorry your friends want to boot you out. Perhaps it's not even you. Perhaps they feel they need the space. I would try to sit them down and have a long, rational talk about your situation, even tell them that you're sympathetic to them needing "space."

Where are you located? For some reason, I'm thinking the NYC area. Obviously, I could be very wrong about this. If you're in Idaho, say, I know someone who was able to get an apartment for under $400 a month.