Hair Bends People Out of Shape! Total BS!

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I am African American and I have had synthetic dreadlocks for some time now--I think almost two years. As of recent, I have to cut my hair now because I ripped them out previously. I could not afford the upkeep; now that I have a car, that extra money is used for gas and stuff.
So no more going to the salon getting the locks twisted.
I decided to just go the natural route, but it was bad timing; because I ripped my hair out, I have plethora of split ends and breakage. So I have no choice now but to cut it low again and start over. But here's where my anger comes from.

It's mainly my mom! She keeps egging and trying to force me to cut my hair and I still say no. She really can't ever force me. But it's the constant nagging that pisses me off. She wears f*****g WEAVES (which isn't even her hair!) but criticizes me about going natural: how ugly it is, nappy it looks, I look homeless etc. I have thick skin, but me having to cut my hair was the last straw. I didn't want to cut it, but since it is so damaged, I need to in order to start natural locks ever again. I am very close to just going off on her.
Because it is among other things she keeps making it seem like I am naive to society expectations in life! I am not! Just cuase I'm f*****g autistic! I hate it when she keeps saying what I can't do in regards of being a citizen in life. All because of my appearance.
I don't like looking like everyone else! I love being different! Everytime I explain tuis, she goes on with some lame BS talking about how I don't understand how the world works! If I didn't understand I'd be in the same f****d up position my cousins and sisters are in!

I have the highest grade of nappy hair and I hate combing it! People don't understand that spirally, coarse hair is not meant to be combed! The s**t hurts! You are basically pulling your hair from your scalp! So why is it expected for me to pick my hair into a flowing afro when that s**t isn't even possible unless I use a relaxer with deep conditioning?

It is not easy growing natural locks because it requires impeccable patience and a drive normal closed-minded folks don't have. People talk about you because your hair is different. I am very fed up of trying to be forced to 'look' a certain way because that is what society accepts! f**k that! When I die, I'll KNOW that I can say, at least I was comfortable within myself, and not trying to be like everyone else!
And everytime it is some about me being different (and something no one can understand) the "You have Autism so your view of the world is different than our view of the world, so you don't understand" f**k that! How the hell would you even know!?

And what makes it even more f****d up is I get dogged more by black people than whites! Whites love my hair. And I have much respect for whites and non-blacks who do natural locks because it is extremely hard for them to do! I cannot fathom how in denial some blacks are!
What is ever wrong with my natural hair?

How come everytime I try to step out of the box and do my own thing, my mom has something to criticize about it? Why not just shut the f**k up and be more encouraging sometimes!?

It's just hair, dude. It grows back. =P

Also, what's with the love for whites & non-blacks? Can't we just see people as people and not from the color of their skin?

<.<

It was the black people that criticize it the most. I have many friends of different race and backgrounds. Actually, whites, Asians, (but mostly whites) get lots of flak for having dreadlocks, by black people. Which is hilarious, because black people didn't start wearing locks until the mid 2000s. Before then it was just braids abd 360s. I know hair grows back, I am not mad that I have to cut it, I was fed up with all the BS that came with it. And within the black community it is a stigma most wouldn't understand unless they grew up around it.

I am white but my mom bugged me about my hair so much that one day I just shaved my head bald. After that she never said another word about it.

My best advice is to be yourself and don't give a crap about what others think. I'm sorry that you're dealing with this. I know people seem to snicker and look at me funny when I wear bright colors, but that's just how I am. If your mom doesn't like your hair, that's HER problem, not yours.

I probably have a bunch of splint ends, but still refuse to cut my hair. People used to whine to me about how my hair isn't "nice and fluffy and clean" when I scrub my freaking scalp every other day or every two days depending on how cold it is outside. When my hair is short it becomes a curly, too soft mess. That being said my hair is flat as all heck and I like that. So technically, I do keep my hair clean.

One time I got asked how long I would let my hair be its length before I cut it and I didn't listen. I just shrugged and moved about my day.

I'm really sorry about your hair.

I told my dad if I work a year at a major tech company I'm getting dreads. I've been contracting lately so I'm sticking with my hippie hair (which I get entirely too much hate for). It's funny because I'm %50 Norwegian and most coders are even more repressed than the people who criticize my looks. I like the idea because I see no compelling reason to visually misrepresent myself. Looking back, I'm not sure there's anything in the world more painful than conformity.

Every culture has its nacks. White people can be just as bad with the nagging. It can be worse when you got some jewish relatives too. But yeah when people are always nagging, you literally get sick from it.

On some level, people know that being hypercritical of others is their problem, they just express it anyway to divert attention away from themselves. Even those who enjoy being a center of attention fear the scrutiny that comes with the territory.

Yes excuse my ignorance. I did not know whites had that much problems regarding this too: like from Jewish and Norwegian backgrounds. That is sad. I guess I just vented. But my mom got on my damn nerves, and she also goes off about other things that try to justify me cutting my hair like WTF?

But I am getting natural dreads no matter what. I am not combing my hair, and I am not conforming to what my family says. I cared less about what other people say, but it was my family, primarily my mom, that gave me artificial support.

My mom used to be exactly the same way about the autism... she assumed whenever I did something unusual that 1) it was due to autism, 2) that autism is bad, and 3) that autism causes people not to think clearly and that 4) therefore I don't think clearly. Made me so angry for years.

Also, like your mother, my mom either didn't remember that most others are worse than autistics when it comes to not knowing how the world works, or just thought that she'd rather have a NT who was in trouble than an autistic who wasn't. What a loser.

I perceived no ignorance, definitely not on your part at least. Anyways there's this urban legend I love about an old rasta who instead of wearing his dreads in a beehive put an actual hive of bees up there. Of course, he had the perfect routine already for keeping the bees friendly!

Now this will become a topic within a topic, but I recently had a deep discussion with my godbrother about that very subject! About how parents would put you down when you are trying to be different or strike out on your own! First we got into the subject of government assistance and the stigma it has. Then we got into this. His mom does the same thing but a bit worse; she'll encourage him here, but then discourage him in the same way about the same subject.

I might seriously have a heart to heart with my mom sooner or later about this. When I wanted to get my driver's license, she kept on saying how I would not be able to do it--that I strongly need to take driving lessons or driver's school.
That stuff is expensive here! And I kept telling her that I did not need to. But then she goes on about: See you are Autistic and how your brain thinks is not how the world thinks. No s**t! But that doesn't mean I am oblivious to it.

And at the end of the day, I taught myself how to drive and ended up getting my license without what she suggested. And she granted me a car for that.
I know she is being a mom--and moms typically worry. But she's been so wrapped up in her failed/failing relationships that she never has mental capacity or time to talk to me and find out how I think as an Autistic individual. She used to cry on how I would never talk to her about things, but what she doesn't know is that she does not have the mental room for it. Her mind is consumed with her boyfriend or ex husband most the time.
The same goes for my sister a little bit.

I also remember one summer when I met a few people (majority white) at a swing dance party the city has every Tuesday. These were great people. Some of them were downtown dwellers and homeless, but were cool. We ended up all going to the beach together and spending time at one of the summer houses. We traveled all around the state.

Oh no! My mom did not like this. Everytime I try to strike out and do my own thing here she comes. Talking about how I hang around with a lot of white people. I told her, and you act like hanging around a group of black folks is any better! I love my black people but the s**t they do is ignorant! And I won't stand there and condone it like it is cool. I rarely have things in common with black people I run into besides basketball. I don't know why this bent her out of shape, but she took it far as to write me a letter about how she felt about me hanging around all these people that she doesn't know and blah blah blah. I didn't even read the damn letter I think I threw it away.

I don't know why this never bothered me so much in the past. Maybe because I just blew it off. But now....it just irks me somehow that everytime I am doing something that she doesn't understand, or try to understand, she says how I cannot comprehend because I am Autistic. That is just a blatant insult.

She is a great help to me majority of my entire life. But, as I am getting older, it seems like she thinks my level of thinking is still in my late teen years and it is not.

I think many parents do this, tell their child what to do with trivial things like hair when they are adults.
There is also too much bitching about shaving, why do other people care about whether others shave off their beard or not? It's none of their business anyway. I believe if you don't have anything positive to say about someone's appearance, just shut up. If you look at politicians and newsreaders, they all look like clones from men from the 50s. If some politician would turn up in clothes and hair from the Mad Men series no one would notice.

Oh, and I believe all Norwegians look like this:




(yeah, I know they are actually Swedish, but potato potato.)

They look like Nords from Skyrim! O.o
They must really don't like cutting their hair. Lol

My mom made fun of my hair the other day and claims that she calls everyone with long hair Cousin It. I have cousins with long hair and she's never said that to their face.

You're an adult so wouldn't her making you cut your hair be violating your civil rights?