unattainable (well...)

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unattainable meaning, my dream of being able to live on my own, away from my parents.
most places i find myself on the internet tell of people having to
move back in with parents after college for, not being able to find or afford a place to stay. the usual, crushing debt, work, blah, so i was thinking, am i a total nit for freaking and obsessing over something like this, that i have not yet met??? and they others deal with-shamed of something so common? i dont know why i value physical indipendence so much but, i do.

not to memtion here the average house is a million bucks, though i can probably go to a different, equally dry town.

sorry if i sound unintelligible. i don't like bothering mom and dad.

I don't think it's all that unusual to want to be independent. It's pretty important.

I assume you live in the Bay Area if the average house is $1 million. If you are I know there are cheaper houses that are a whole lot better than houses in the Bay Area if you go north, and I mean way north.

These are regular dreams and hopes, I value physical independence, imo it is worth chasing after. Yeah, it involves risk taking, but evaluating those risks is time well spent. Freaking out about it is maybe not productive, perhaps some of the barriers you're obsessing about will not exist by the time you have finished your tertiary education.

if I were in your position, i'd most likely feel exactly the same, and yes I too value independence over many other things. I'm not there and I don't know exact details as you do, but I have a buddy not far from SB who was going through same stress as you are now, since he wanted to move out from his parents, but since he failed once, was extremely nervous about it, and has since been trying to investigate what are his options, how to tackle it...but he already finished his education, so for him it's much less narrow road to be taken.

If I were you and able to move to somewhere cheaper, where I wouldn't get indebted or where there isn't a chance of ending on the street because of it, I'd do that straight away...I don't know what are your financial abilities, where is better or worse, but here in Europe there are many countries with free university education. You just have to assure the state that you can finance yourself while studying...no fee or tuition charged at all.

The best example for is Finland:

http://www.studyinfinland.fi/tuition_and_scholarships

http://www.studyinfinland.fi/

From what I've read, the state once you finish even makes it easier for you to find the job and be able to pay the rent...

here are some other tuition free countries in Europe:

http://www.scholars4dev.com/4031/list-o ... -colleges/

And even here if your grades are high enough, you don't have to pay a single kuna. If you get sufficient number of ECTS points, you can even free yourself from paying following academic years. I don't know anyone here who was indebted because of studying as it happens in US, for that reason (and many others) i'd never wish to live there.

here I know people who graduated with Masters degree, can't find the job, but still state finances them enough to survive...same thing in Finland for example...I know people who stretched their years of studying even to their 30s, living in cheap student apartments, with every possible accommodation...and no debts, at least not the size of those in US.

But if that's out of question, then you know options much better than I do...But maybe making a plan would be less stress inducing than too much fretting? Maybe to somehow harness that fear and make it work for you, instead of against you...dunno, hope this helps.

You should go to a state/city/county college/university in California.

And you could get a student job while in college, so you could save up for a car/apartment. Or, perhaps, pay the $4000 or so a year for tuition at the above college.

thanks

well most people I know started in rented apartments even with the kids...dunno how it's over there though, but rarely anyone can afford house/flat straight away...unless they're lucky and inherit something. usually it takes years till they manage to pay off something of their own. We don't own anything either

Santa Barbara is SUPER expensive. The apartments that do exist are in places like Isla Vista where my understanding is that they're all 3 bedroom places intended for UCSB students to live in with roommates, which is likely undoable for aspies. I don't know if OP is on SSI, but if he/she is he/she can look into tuition waivers for community college. That's how I put myself through college, getting my fees waived due to being on SSI. Also, if OP IS on SSI, it only pays a maximum of $877/mo, which doesn't go very far in a place like SB.

I think you can manage to climb your way out to independence during your studies at university. They often provide inexpensive university residences nearby. Or at least you could move in with a student roommate, which is about halfway between being dependent on your parents and totally independent.