Suicide

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My Aspie husband killed himself in Feb. Now what? My person is gone because he felt he'd lost his person. He took his life on our 24th wedding anniversary after a series of events of instability. I could see it coming, but of course, I was literally "laughed off" by his own Mother and siblings. I, of course, was just the over-reacting wife he needed to leave. The day he died he had sent a few e-mails that caused me concern. At the time I had an order of protection against him, so I called his mother and asked her to check on him. Her response to me was to laugh and say, "Yes, He's been emotional lately." She did text him once. (I know this because I have his text records now.) And now "Mommy" wants to play the victim and blame me and whine that his death has destroyed her??? Screw her and her feelings! What about the feelings of her 3 young grandchildren her self absorbed son left behind? She should have raised him better! She should have realized he was not typical! I am the one who first recognized his differences and led him to a diagnosis. That selfish "B" just tried to tell him, "Everyone has problems, deal with it".

Well I could hardly judge if he was self absorbed or not....but suicide in itself is not really a self absorbed thing, its more to do with being in enough pain death seems it would be a relief unless they really plan for it to not work but the accidentally succeed. Why that should matter to you though is because bitterness towards them specifically for the suicide may make it harder to cope with it. Also you do not have to elaborate but was he abusive towards you? just wondering what warranted the order of protection against them...and if the relationship was so bad it was nessisary to do that I guess I would figure you may have already been planning life without him fully in the picture, I cannot imagine you where still financially/emotionally dependent on him if living separately with what sounds like sort of a restraining order against him.

Now what?...cut his mother out of your life if she is at all in it still, she sounds like a terrible person to have to deal with...and aside from that you can really only try and heal/move on, and if it proves to be more than you can handle on your own perhaps look into therapy for some extra support/help to get through it. Perhaps think about any goals you have and spend time taking care of yourself.

Neither of you ever stopped being mothers. Shift her focus by any means necessary to the kids. I know death makes it hard to see anywhere but you have ample common ground.

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