I HATE THIS!

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I can never say what I want or need. Whenever I want to be friends with someone or like someone, instead of just being able to come out and say it, I sit there and stew and give off ridiculously small hints in the hopes they will magically get what I mean, and then I manage to convince myself that I am not liked by them. It is always the same. My fears of rejection etc prevent me from reaching out to people in any way, whether as a friend or as a partner.

I wish I werre someone else and had a super scientific and technical mind as then maybe people might be more interested in me and I would fit in better, instead of having this stupid, old fashioned romantic side etc. I really HATE who I am right now.

I'm sorry to hear that. Still, be thankful that you still have a romantic side in this day and age.

I'm sorry if my posts in the RP have set you off.....

Having a romantic side in this day and age has no benefits. No one cares about that crap anymore.

I guess each wants his/her own thing in the rp. I wanted some sort of heroic stuff going on a la princess bride etc, and it aint happening, and it is upsetting me which in turn is upsetting me as it makes me look like a selfish little crybaby. My attempts to turn it into something at least a little near what I need in an Rp are failing miserably. Not your fault, I guess I just want something that is difficult to other aspies, I dunno. I love the storyline but it is lacking the one essential thing to me.

Damn, does that sound familiar! You have three choices - sane, same, radical

Sane - change what you do. Experiment. Reach out, regardless of the cost.

Same - Hey, just do what you're doing. It hasn't worked, but of course it eventually will

Radical - Improve the manner in which you are trying to project. Dominate their minds into doing what you need.

2. is obviously not sane; 3. would be seen as such by most.

Ya gotta decide how many cards you want to draw though.

My immensely low self esteem and fear of rejection keeps me from reaching out to anyone. I get nervous as hell on the occasions I doI feel utterly pathetic really, for being so illogical.

Some people do still believe in romantic things. I'm not sure whether it could be called a dying way. Maybe a declining way, but certainly not a dead way.

I feel very similarly. I'll try to make some sort of insufficient gesture, and when it goes unanswered, I won't try something else for fear of appearing weird, desperate, or trying to come on too strongly.

It is ironic that it still lurks in me, considering I am highly cynical and bitter about it most of the time... I call it a fallacy that exists only in films, songs and books but never seems to translate into real life. It is, for the most part, viewed as something cheesy, unrealistic or illogical. I wonder how common romance was, even back in the periods in which it is usually depicted...the age of knights etc...suppose I am thinking of chivalry there. I curse having any romantic notions left, I mean, it was understandable as a young woman, when I had lived in my books and films and had no experience of real life, but my jadedness should have got rid of all trace of it by now.