Why I am a bloody........

Post Reply New Topic

Far out. Why I am a bloody creepy, unattractive and stupid young adult? I am so sick being myself like how proactive, positive, outgoing, friendly and respectful because I never deserved to be treated back in same way. I wonder what is wrong with me?! I am no dumbarse guy is like other aspies who have antisocial problems. I don't at all because I am approachable and more understanding kind of person.

I am trying to help my local aspie group but they kept deleting my Facebook posts regarding to antisocial gatherings such as movies and arcade games. We are all in 20's and 30's, and from my perspective they doesn't seem learning anything like I have because I don't have antisocial problems like them. I understand Facebook is not a great place to plan, make plans, gatherings, conversations and that because of passive aggressive behaviour in people.

However, I hang out with NTs more because of their positive attitudes, BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTT the problem still there. They are antisocial of being me because I am very different. Probably seeing me creepy, dumbarse and that to them. They don't actually say these words but I can tell from their reactions of not reflective of my positivism and good attitudes. Most NTs kept recommended me to see a counselor all the time, but I still see it but without their knowledge if they knew I didn't see one. Also they kept recommending me to hang out with other aspies, but my local group is mistreating me!! !! Gosh what is the feck wrong with my life!

I thought I am enjoying my life because of have grad school, involvement with interests and passion groups, scholarships, family, one mate and that etc etc etc etc etc. I wonder why people kept being passive aggressive. Are they jealous of me? HUH!? I am totally jealous of them because they have girlfriends, lots of caring friends who contact them initially and have jobs!! ! That is a fecking better life than me.

I don't really ever have people to start communication with me as an initiate or even invite me to join stuff with them. I am lonely ALL THE TIME because I have nothing to do apart from my interests. I live on my own because I am struggling to life 'normal' life. I wanted to move out of my studio apartment because its sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo lonely here. I have three properties to look at tomorrow at the shared houses so I can prove that my life doesn't seem creepy, sucking and dumbarse to the reality. I really really really hope my life comes more better than this once I move out of lonely looney bin.

I am only 24 years old and I KNOW I am better than this because I am living and enjoying professional life. I need a reflection on that! I can't keep being a stupid guy where women see me creepy 24/7 like the trading hours of 7/11 stores! Gosh, what is wrong with the world? Why treat other people better than me? I didn't hurt, nor destroy people's lives, let alone I have zero criminal records!

I wish Facebook doesn't exist. I think it made the world so terribly passive aggressive and miserable. It seems making people to forget the important stuff like diversity and social skills. I am missing social skills it is because of the world's dependent on Facebook.

We're sorry to hear that.



Sweet Pea hugs

*crickets chirping*

What a great world for not caring!

So, this is really passive aggressive and manipulative. I'm not sure if you meant it to be that way, but that is how it comes across. It isn't passive aggressive for a moderator of an aspie support facebook group to delete these kinds of posts. Trying to force your aspie group to do social activities is absolutely not understanding. If my wife tells me I have to be at a social function, it's very different than when she lets me know she will be at the social function. When she says I have to do it, well no, I really don't, but when she says she will be there, we'll ok, then I can think about it and decide if I can go and if I can then I will.

I'm not sure if you realize just how much you affect everyone around you. Just because people aren't meeting your expectations doesn't mean they are treating you poorly. When you act like you think they are, then yes, it will come across as creepy and then people will start to treat you poorly. Also, your self view doesn't seem to accurately portray reality, for example, you say you are approachable, yet you also say no one initiates conversation with you or invites you to join stuff. I know that I'm not approachable because no one initiates conversation with me nor invites me to do stuff. If I'm in a good mood, sometimes I can make myself more approachable, and then all of a sudden people will talk to me out of the blue when we're standing in line together or whatever, but it is something I have to 'turn on' for want of a better word.

I am sorry you are struggling right now, and I hope you are able to figure out what changes to make to help yourself be more happy.

Good luck and stay safe.

I don't know you but from what you wrote here I think you indeed are creepy.

The one who is acting passive-aggressive is you. Mister "I'm having professional life therefore I am better then you all and you are supposed to listen to me because I know better then you what you should do with your lives." and "Why doesn't the world accept my perfect self?".

Ego much?

Work on your attitude before you approach people.

Drop the attitude of "I am so damn smart and good and I deserve being respected". It doesn't work like that. People don't like being looked down at and they will get defensive no matter how right your point might be if you make them know you think you are superior to them. It is true for both NTs and aspies.

If you want people to listen to you make them feel you respect their opinion and feelings and you are just suggesting your own, without forcing anything. Sometimes just adding "Personally I think that...", "In my opinion..." and "Anybody else feels like that or is it just me?" makes a huge difference in how people see the message.

Thing to remember:

- Noone owes you anything no matter how good you think you are.
- They will respect you only when they feel you are worth being respected. The feeling is closely related to liking and trusting and must be earned.
- Respect is mutual - you earn respect by making people feel you respect them.
- You can't gain respect by force. Saying "people shall respect me because I am a good person" can only get you obedience, if anything.

I cannot edit my post anymore but I want to add a website you might find interesting to look at: http://eqi.org/respect.htm .