Kindly Need Your Help

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I am new to wrongplanet. This is my first post. Please help me regarding some issues that I have been facing for many years.
I am a physically disabled person with chronic illness since my childhood. I also have severe social disability. I am 40 now. Although I was brilliant in my studies and pursued higher education, I had to leave my Post Doctoral studies due to physical, social and mental disabilities. I was doing a good job but left the job because of these disabilities.I got several new jobs again but again left them. I somehow got married but my marriage seems to be not working, again because of these disabilities. I lost my education and job but I do not want to lose my husband. I have tried to hold on to a job and my marriage but these disabilities are not letting me. In childhood, I was able to cope better but as I am growing old, I am somehow becoming more mentally and physically ill. That is why I had to leave my job and studies -at a time when I am no longer a child or a young girl and my condition is getting worse..
A little bit about my background: I have mentally and physically disabled parents at home. This is adding to my current stress and depression. Although I do not live with them, I visit them often.
I have been taking all kinds of medicine since childhood. Some helps, some don't.
My husband is a capable man, strong, confident and he is doing very well in life, both financially and physically/mentally. Money is not a problem for us, although I do not work now. We have travelled all over the world for his work but now I can't seem to cope. My husband loves me , understands me and does not want me to leave him. But I am slowly losing my sanity.
I am also afraid to leave my husband because that would mean I have to go back to my physically and mentally ill parents and stay with them forever which will make my situation worse. Three dependent people can't live together like this.
Some positive things about me: I can cook daily, I can do some housework in spite of my physical disability if I take enough rest/sleep/naps. I can converse with people up to a limited extent if I am not tired. My mind goes haywire but I am not yet a completely mad person, my mind is not that dysfunctional. It is just weird. I can write, paint,cook, clean ( I love cleaning ),compose poems and I can also love people. I cannot yell at people or defend myself, I am very passive by nature. I do not get angry but have meltdowns/shutdowns when faced with a challenging social situation. I meltdown mostly in jobs/offices where I used to work. Home is my heaven and my life is better suited in my home. I am however, very nervous and anxious, which prevents me from participating in activities that normal people take for granted.
I have a good relationship with my husband but I am very weak and slow whereas, he is strong and fast.
I am afraid of my future.
Please give me some suggestions as to how to cope ( even while at home) and make my relationship with my (normal) husband better. People who are in similar situation like me, your comments are most welcome.
( Please note about my three disabilities, particularly my physical disability while commenting. I can walk but I have chronic fatigue syndrome and other issues which requires me to be on constant medication.)
Thank you for reading this.

Problem with medication is that it adresses the symptoms and ignores the causes...

Not a very subtle person for the rest so wil leave it at that with a thought for you to chew on.

I can avoid a lot of my mental and physical problems by eating the right diet. No particular foods but in line with food energetics along the lines of Ayurvedic or Taoist principles.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_food_therapy
https://www.google.be/#q=food+energetics+tcm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ayurveda

No solutions, but I see a big concrete wall between being capable and disabled in the prose.
Is disabled a refuge value here ? Or who needs you to be 'disabled' in this relation ?

I can relate to this. I was confined to my bed for 14 days due to a bad fever once and at that time, I got so angry and jealous at the normal people , seeing them functioning normally. For you, this has been going on since childhood, so ,it must be worse.
I can only tell you that you have got a normal husband who in spite of being "normal and abled" understands your disability or at least does not abandon you. That is great. Without him, your life might have been more difficult, more so because you have two mentally /physically ill parents to look after. I do not know how to comfort you because I am not exactly in your situation but I can tell you this:
1. Pray. Start your day with a little ritual/prayer, lighting incense sticks, etc. Try to connect to your soul/spirit in the morning. Read spiritual books. I have seen that spirituality /spiritual practice helps in disability, much more than other methods of coping, especially if you have multiple disability.
2. Since you love cooking, cook daily. Try some innovative dishes. Feed your husband many innovative dishes. Ask him to rate your dish.
3. Accept your disability. Since you were dealing it from childhood, you have to say to yourself " my disability, my body, my mind-you are my childhood friend". By accepting it, you will not expect anything from it, rather be with it. Let it be with you, don't judge it.
4. When you feel bad, take rest. Don't force yourself to do any work. To hell with social expectations.
5. Your husband is your only ally in this long battle that you are fighting. Tell him about your fears. Ask him for suggestions. Whenever you feel fit/ok/able, enjoy with him-do things you love, with him.
6. Whenever you feel unfit/sick-tell yourself "it is normal/ok to be this way". When you feel slightly better, immediately start doing things you love. Life is short, don't miss those few minutes/hours of happiness.
7. Even if your situation is going from worse to worst, there will be moments when you might feel a little ok. enjoy those moments.
8. You said you feel better at home. Make your home a soothing,peaceful place with the help of a housekeeper, if you can't do it yourself.
9. The society will not understand you. But you have to protect yourself from empathy-less people.Your disability is something that you did not create, either physical or mental. God gave it to you/you were born like that. You have to carry it towards the end of your life. But believe me, life is worthwhile. You found love in your husband. That itself makes this one life significant/worth living.
10. Again, at the risk of sounding repetitive, I want you to pray daily. Praying connects your heart with the heart of the Universe. You are not only a body, but also a soul. In prayers, you will feel that.
All the best.