Scared to post....

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Not scared, but feel like I'm walking on eggshells round here.

I feel like I didn't deserve to be treated to way I was treated on here the other day by certain individuals.

This is where I come and if I can't say what I do or why I do it without being made to feel like I have committed some heinous crime then what is the point?

I don't hold grudges and what has happened has happened.

I wasn't attacking anyone on this forum in a personal way but I felt very much attacked and at that time I didn't feel it was necessary for me to defend myself or even justify myself.

Think what you will of this post.

But I just feel it needed to be said.

This is an autism spectrum website. You would think that people with ASD would at least have consideration for other people with ASD.

Eggshells eh. Just like in real life then.

I've always enjoyed your posts, Babybird. And I feel the same way sometimes - that my personality doesn't fit in here, any better than it does in the outside world... Which is discouraging, because it leaves us no place to socialize!

I'm guessing this was about your post regarding the telemarketing incident... And I didn't completely understand the issue at hand, but want to say it was cruel of people to criticize you for having that job. I admire you for having a job at all, because I know how hard it is for us to be accepted and hired by anyone, anywhere - let alone manage to live independently and support ourselves, and you set a positive example for folks here, by striving to do just that.

Keep your head up, and please know that many of us appreciate your presence here!

Yes and thank you to both of you.

I really hate to harp on things and normally I don't. It has happened twice just lately that I have got something stuck in my head and it wont go away.

The first time was something that happened IRL where I couldn't get my words out in order to express myself. That was actually at a job interview.

The second time is that that happened on here the other day.

It has left me feeling extremely paranoid and anxious about posting. Obviously I have been posting in order to combat my fear.

I'm not the best reader, I've not had much of an education, I have a criminal record and I have struggled against selective mutism. My job/work choice is probably the best I can strive for and I can make money at it, even though it's not a lot.

Sometimes when I post I don't go into depth and maybe that was the problem there but I felt my words were twisted somewhat and I also felt like the whole thing cast me in a negative light.

I have never come to WP with the hope of being the most popular or anything like that but I know that I have made some friends along the way.

These people mean quite a lot to me and make this place worth coming back to whenever I have had a break.

I don't wanna lose that and that was my biggest fear after that particular incident.

Thanks again for your support in replying.

I think you should ignore people who attack you for saying what you think on wp.
Those people are usually a kind of thought police, or they just want to feel superior to others.
I don't think autistic people should have to worry so much about saying what they think on autism forum, even if they overlook some sensitivities, it should be more relaxed here about social rules.

Thank you..

I'll probably be ok and I hope I will be.

i also hope you will be ok babybird. it's good to see you here again.

Thank you.

I don't usually get into debates on here because I know how things can be misconstuedled sometimes but I felt as though I was being drawn in a way, into saying something that would get me into trouble.

I didn't do anything to deserve that...

I'm just seeing the whole place in a different light than I used to.

People did not attack you for merely "saying what you do" for a living.

They attacked you because you said that when what you do for a living annoys the people you contact in the course of doing that job, you "enjoy annoying them." You actually admitted in real terms and straightforward words, that you like the fact that some of your cold call customers get annoyed with you. You said it gives you pleasure because it's your way of getting back at the world.

There was very little to be "misconstrued" because you outright said those things. And now you're playing the innocent trying to claim that all you did was say what the job is. That's disingenuous and I think you know that.

Yes you're on a site full of people with autism. And one of the things some of these people with autism talk about is things that cause them anxiety. One of those things frequently mentioned is when the phone rings, or having to answer a phone or talk to a stranger on the phone.

Or having to deal with a conversation they didn't expect to have.

And you're suprised that people got upset to hear you say you enjoy annoying people on the phone in your job?

It's not the job. It's the things you said about actually enjoying the fact that being a cold caller annoys the people you have to call.

It's one thing to BE a cold caller and just try to deal with the job in a professional manner.

It's another thing all together to admit that you enjoy annoying the people you call and enjoying it when they start getting annoyed.

Nobody got upset at what you actually do, they got upset at the fact that you said you enjoyed deliberately annoying your called customers. That's actually an expression of compassion for those poor people, because some of us can relate.

Your remarks on your thread implied you actually needle the people you call, for the pleasure of needling them. That type of worker should be reported to their manager.

So you think you have a right to go following me around this site and attacking me even further on different threads BirdInFlight.

Why didn't you, yourself question me about what I said in the original thread? I don't believe you did.

I don't annoy people on purpose actually and yes maybe I was flippant in what I said but at that point I already felt under attack for being a cold caller. I had already been compared to a pan handler etc...

Annoying people comes with being a cold caller and in my job I have to take people being mad with me with a pinch of salt. I laugh it off.

I do have feelings BirdInFlight.

I will have the mods monitor this thread because I do not wish to come under attack any more over this situation.

Have you never said anything when you have felt under pressure BirdInFlight. Something that has come out wrong or where you have not expressed yourself properly. That is what happened.

That is all I feel guilty of doing. I have already apologised for being unclear in that particular thread.

Thank you.

Don't let what happened stop you from posting you're a lot of fun on the Off the wall threads.

Thank you Aprilviolets.

I'll do my best.

I just wish that people who live in greenhouses wouldn't throw stones.

I felt that way for a while on here. I also don't post many threads for that reason because I don't know how they will be perceived.

Oh I missed a telemarketing argument? Well babybird, I surely would have been on your side there. I am a former telemarketer myself. As well as a few years of phone sales. I know what it is to pound the phones for a living and how wearing it is when you have social limitations. Congrats for overcoming that s**t. It's HARD.

I've enjoyed my fair share of annoying people I've called. If you work that job, at least the places I've worked, everyone does it. You're like a villain to the world when you do that job. So why not play the role? Everyone hates you anyway. I mean what's wrong with enjoying it? If that's your coping mechanism to get through every day and pay your bills, f**k whomever you annoy. Sorry, but we all have to live. You deserve more credit than someone who collects a check from the government or has family have to support them.

Now I understand some people cannot live any other way. I am not one of those anti-SSDI people who hates anyone "on the system" so don't run with that anybody. What I do hate is people who are not self-sufficient but criticize those that are, or are trying to be. I don't care what you are doing, if it doesn't hurt anyone (inconvenience/annoy is NOT hurt I don't care what you say). Someone who sits at home, no matter how miserably they may do it, really has little to say and should shut their mouths when they feel inclined to criticize.

Don't be afraid to express yourself, but those words ring sort of hollow because I've struggled with that too. I have had issues with that same thing on this site too at times. My opinions tend to venture away from the overly intellectualized group think that goes on here quite often. I often refrain from commenting on certain threads because I know I will be gang tackled. I tend to get very nasty and volatile when things get like that so I stay to the more frivolous topics.

I try to understand that the people who use this site are very very rigid thinkers like myself. I also believe there to be a clear generational gap when certain subjects are brought up. 20 somethings and younger often have the same views it seems. Both NT and NeuroDiverse. It makes one feel very alienated. Too much college I say. Honestly. While there's plenty of value in getting that piece of paper, it strips many people of their ability to think for themselves and form their own ideas about things. And I've found this creates a large divide between people. I have difficulty talking to people who went to college. Not because I think they are any smarter than I am (because while a few may be, I'll put my raw intellect against most people's any day and feel pretty confident)

As someone above also said, this site can be very discouraging. I started using it to try and find people to relate to, share common interests, share perspectives, and there are a small handful who I enjoy. However for the most part it's no different for me here than it is in the real world. My personality does not fit in at all. It seems like there is clearly a certain acceptable personality, and if you are not of that persuasion, you better keep it light.

I got your back though. Let it fly...

The thing is, I don't wanna be careful about what I right. I want to be able to right straight off the cuff and as i'm thinking. Like I'm doing now.

If I'm put under pressure then I will write under pressure because I'm coming back with a quick response. That is how I am in real life and how I am here.

I want to be be myself here. I don't go out of my way to offend anyone and I really don't wish to and I'm not even interested in contradicting people for the sake of a debate.

Anyway...I am tired now and it's time for bed.

Goodnight all and maybe I might feel better tomorrow.

Thanks again for all your support. I can go to sleep a little bit happier now.

1) I am not "following you around." I saw your thread about cold calling after it had been locked and I couldn't reply. It infuriated me though, because the things you said were hateful. You said hateful things about the people you cold call.

2) I'm not the only one who has a problem with cold callers. I can handle a cold caller who is, however, at least polite, and then I can politely finish the call. What you described enjoying being like to your customers did not sound like someone who is sensitive to how some people feel when they answer a cold call.

You sounded like you make things even worse for these people. And now you're acting surprised that some people responded to you with criticism of you for that. They're not criticizing your job. They were criticizing that you expressed taking delight in pissing off people on the other end of the phone when they got upset that you are cold calling them.

Very few people are going to feel glad to hear a cold caller say that about their job. "I enjoy that they get annoyed." Not cool. And you didn't just say it once. You repeated the sentiment throughout your responses on that thread. If you felt backed into a corner you shouldn't have made it worse by antagonizing people with expressions of enjoying upsetting people on the phone.

I'm telling it like it, nothing more, nothing less. I'm EXPLAINING to you what really happened since you seem to be conveniently forgetting salient parts.

And by the way I WORK TOO. I do not "collect government checks as beakybird assumes.

Go take a running jump with those assumptions. I not only work, I'm self employed, I got up off my butt and started my own damn business and I work DAMN hard.

But yes it's villainous to deliberately annoy people just because you're in a telemarketing job. People hate being bothered badly enough in the first place, it's even worse to know that telemarketers ENJOY pissing them off.

And again -- PHONES and people calling is something many of us on the autism spectrum already have difficulty with to begin with.

Has it never occurred to you that some of the people you call have autism too? Shame on you.

And I'm done here. You're playing the innocent and I think the way you treat your job is despicable. I usually treat telemarketers very well even while ending the call and asking to be never called again, but now in future I think I'll make them as uncomfortable as you seem to like making us recipients.

It's despicable. I'm not going to "be supportive" of that!

And once again, I work too. But I wouldn't dream of making life sh***y for the people I deal with in my work.