Rants

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i wish WP had a "like" button.

^^^^
mee too
at least we can do like this to indicate a like

one of the people i know is having the same doctor issue as mine. she went to the er all suicidal(super suicidal) and was told to get a job if one of her stresses was having her disability payment cut. i also really need to talk to my shrink about stuff but i'm worried she'll tell authorities and have me institutionalised. my friends cat also might have cancer. she's like his baby. and i looked up rapist no. 2 on facebook. i frequently do this but it's usually very private. this time he must have changed privacy settings. he's holidaying overseas in numerous countries and looks very happy.

This is more of a vent than a rant.
So many things are hitting me at once right now. It's nearly the Solstice, so my SAD is at full strength. I've been sick to my stomach from anti-biotics all week. It's been a while since I've seen my bf, so I'm missing him and lonely. My SSI exam is looming, the holidays are coming and I'm unprepared and on top of everything else, PMS. I feel absolutely awful.

Ah, things I can mostly do here, but never in real life. I guess that's the power of anonymity? XD At least I could do so without breaking a rule! Unlike in real life; "don't do this" "don't ask that". It's annoying. I'm not breaking a goddamned law or intend to something whatever they assume. I'm not being intrusive either. THEY have a right to do things that I'm not ALLOWED to do? Was that fair? HA!
And sometimes, I wish I can make a change in real life. In this country at least. This country is goddamned confused to themselves, they all pride themselves. More ego, and no self esteem, I pity them.
Most with the islamic influence is under-supported, overlooked, if not abused.
But I pity the most westernized place around here more than the poorest ones! What most youths do is show who's more 'sosyal' (means 'class' like show) here. Showing off this, and showing off that! It has nothing to do with 'different times' vent. They all say they're proud when it has nothing to do with them! Just one mention of their nationality or country, they all go there and rave themselves as proud. I laughed so hard, I slapped my face instead of facepalming. No wonder why they're so infamous XD At online games, they're next to indons who are being scammers or spammers. In the internet in general, they're one of the troll's acceptable targets. Especially the fact that they are so influenced with religion, they remain a closed mind.
And despite the proud parade they do, they want to leave this country. XD Or declaring Persona non grata to others who criticize them over the net. Or themselves. weee~

But really, this country is simply so young. The culture itself hasn't figuring out yet. And separatists are more common here more than I thought. Granted, it's an archipelago.

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I hate human beings. I hope we all die out soon and this charade can end, then the rest of the living things on Earth can continue in peace. People are so weak, so stupid, so short-sighted that they will work against their own best interests with a smile on their faces. Humans are the most flawed creatures in existence, possibly the most flawed that ever existed. No other animals are anywhere near so gung-ho on destroying themselves.

And the arrogant morons think that they are the most intelligent species! Because they've made a bunch of unnecessary ideologies and widgets and gadgets, gadgets that poison the Earth with toxic metals, gadgets that save them so much work that they end up out of shape due to inactivity and obese due to their ready-made meals, gadgets meant to save them time, which the rich and powerful then exploit by expecting more time spent working, slaving away to make yet more gadgets. And your convoluted ideologies are nothing but cover-ups and shallow justifications for your base emotions and the revolting actions you take in service of them.

Why is everyone so damned dumb?! There is ALWAYS someone saying something that OBVIOUSLY makes no sense. Why is it so hard for people to think critically? It makes it impossible to talk to anyone. And the horrifying thing is that some don't care that they are dumb. Well, I don't care if you die, you unreflective, brain-dead evolutionarily-regressed ape. There is nothing in you to miss or mourn. Truthfully, you do little more than react, like a common insect; you merely react to a larger range of crap, and your instincts are infinitely worse.

I feel disgusted just by being human. It would make me happy to go to the doctor and be told that I had even a little non-human DNA.

Little vent here, I haven't got the energy for a massive diatribe but I do have something that I need to get out. e: actually that's a lie this is a diatribe for sure.

I was in a relationship until recently and then had a couple of weeks to figure out where to live. My parents are on the other side of the country and have no space (besides being alcoholics and too mentally ill for me to realistically cope with), I don't really have anybody to stay with sans my nan but I really can't bring myself to do that. My ex - who incidentally is spoiled as all hell and relies on her mum and her dad's money for everything p much and as such has no concept of the difficulties facing people who don't have that - keeps saying that I should go back home rather than staying in this town but you know, I've been here for a year and a half and this area is more my home than anything. I have a full week from today to find somewhere to live or I'll effectively be homeless, and places I've contacted (the council, a local coordination & support service) have been less than helpful. I'm angry at my ex's mum at the moment because she basically said I wouldn't just get turfed out but I didn't believe her and didn't break up with her daughter for a long time because I was terrified of having nowhere to live, so when I couldn't stand it any more and did something she basically betrayed that imo. She knows that the idea of going back to my parents upsets me intensely, she's seen me almost jump out of a high window and hyperventilate for a long time when I was told that I would have to do so. But I can't even bring myself to say anything because I'm terrified of using the phone and need somebody to do that for me, and she doesn't even seem to realise that anything is wrong here. Even while I was living with them I was the one who did most of the housework, the cooking, buying the food, hoovering, cleaning out most of her animals etc while her daughter hardly did anything and yet gave me all the attitude. I'm just sick of all of this right now. Now the house here is empty and my leg is killing me because I no longer have a place to keep it up - I have all sorts of problems with my left leg, lymphoedema, varicose vein, and basically if I don't keep it up a fair bit it goes numb quickly and then starts to hurt. While I'm in this situation I can't look for work, I can't bring myself to enjoy a single thing, but at the same time I'm the one expected to keep this place clean so my ex's mum doesn't lose her deposit.

Every cloud has a silver lining (sorry for the trite saying) and I am getting to spend Christmas with a lady friend I met recently and really hit it off with, I'm looking forward to it a hell of a lot right now. Going to see her on Wednesday.

ALSO why does everywhere want to talk through the phone? How are emails not at least an option? I referred myself for supported housing and got a voicemail message telling me to call a number. I can't do that and I said on my application that I can't do that. I felt a bit teary just listening to the voicemail, usually I don't but I thought it might be helpful. Right now I'm beginning to understand why people do extreme things to be noticed, but I know from personal experience that if you do anything like that you are demonised and your actually problems are ignored so yeah, hum. Obviously mental health issues are self-inflicted

PS. sorry for the double post, I just hit the threshold of when I can still edit an old post.

f**k.

Its snowing, and ice everywhere. And I hate it.

I cant walk on it, Its hard and sometimes im falling.

I dread the coming new year.

It's almost noon here in Cali. No snow, and the temp is already in the 70s. At least the wine is chilled, and we're about to start an AD&D game, but I would rather be playing in the snow.

No snow here in Texas, but we did get 2 feet of wind.

why in blimy hell do nts think that language like this is ok?

NTs seemingly fail to be able to use proper grammar and spelling.... ugh.

And is it just me, or does it seem that NTs are actually more dumber than autistic people? Just go into your average classroom and make observations. You'll see what I mean. It's almost as if half the NT population sees life in this one-dimensional view of "go to college - work - get married and have kids - life". Like, don't you have any ambitions or so? Factory can't steel-stamp my ass.

washinton state has this STOOPID law which equates driving with expired license tags, with reckless driving and levies an equivalent amount of points against one's drivers license. it's a racket, I tell you!

Walmart prides its self on hiring those with disabilities but will not allow them to become managers. In my state a Assistant Store Manager and a Store Manager must be able to obtain a license to sell firearms. In the US in order to obtain a fire arm you are not qualified if in the past attempted suicide or was confined to a mental institution. Many people who are disabled due to mental illness have experienced either one of these conditions. With this being said Walmart will not allow individuals with a disability of mental illness the opportunity to be a manager at there stores.

I should never have been born.