Rants

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My family is divided for this reason. Certain people wouldn’t believe other people, so my family was torn apart. It is ridiculous.

My aunt just informed me that our manager is thinking of making one of the newer ladies in my department a lead and I'm irrationally pissed off over it because she doesn't correct what anyone does and still has no idea WTF we're supposed to be doing after months of working there. She expects me to correct everyone's mistakes and straight up doesn't listen to me when I tell her what to do. I have been doing so much s**t in my department, training everyone who's new, and my managers have been referring to me specifically for months whenever they need something done or to know whats going on, why the f**k am I not being made a lead.

why do so many men have to act like apes when they are in multiples?

My life is not bearable.

I'm not pissed because of having limitations.

I'm pissed because of stupid emotions refusing to let me learn from mistakes.
Yes, this includes successes.

I want to take the pain or whatever, not be a spoiled whining brat.

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Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

I'm legitimately disappointed every time I wake up. I'm not even actively wanting to kill myself right now, but I still really don't want to be alive.

I'm pissed off because my impulsiveness refuses to let me learn from my mistakes.

One day I'll get out of this small town.
I'll pack my bags and this place will only be a memory, a chapter, I'll return to the place I truly consider home. I don't know how, I don't know when, but I know that I have to try.

I am overwhelmed at times by the expectations brought upon by adulthood. Especially when my frustrations are met with dismissal. 'You have yet to be truly drained by life, just wait until you're older!' No. I may not have your experiences, but they do not invalidate mine. I am allowed to be unhappy.

What is that speech supposed to do anyway? Drain me even more with an added sense of looming despair? That's not very helpful. I know you are hurting. We both are. Let's work through this together rather than feed each other's sadness. That's all I ask.

I don’t understand.

My boyfriend is struggling to breathe and could lose his life, we've been waiting for an ambulance for over 4 hours. So basically if you're laying there dying and could be saved but ambulances take this long to arrive then there's no hope.

Rules for living in the UK: Don't get ill, don't get old.

Some of the other lot attendants, such as steve and rashaad, lazy as f**k. As a result, my worthless corpse has to get propane more often, load more pallets, sweep. But I am afraid of tattling on them, b/c they might be having sex with the boss, and they might take out revenge on me (and subject to imagination).

feet and hands still cold in the morning and night, even though it's mid february.

my worthless corpse rapidly getting weaker in every way, not just benchpress, and only 39 years old.

feel like gorging a lot.

costs skyrocketing, esp grocery costs.

$21, while a lot for a minimum wage job, does not pay for enough s**t.

exhausted all the time

brainfog

defecation difficulty

too many suspicious looking characters loitering around my workplace.

idiots talk too much and too loud.

loud noise.

my retardedass "friend" dena had the nerve to refuse to say "excuse me" instead of "huh" or "what". (rolls eyes). But for kayla feder b***h, her aikido instructor, she has been eagerly (1) teaching lessons (2) bookkeeping (3) WordPress (4) janitorial (5) fixing building. (She had the nerve to tell me that, a couple years ago, 2019 or so, but not until 2022 did it dawn on me: it's like a ratio, proportion, or analogy. Kayla got a lot of free slave labor. Marfan (me) got villified, told off, micromanaged.)

(Kayla)/(free slave labor) = (marfan)/(treated like public enemy number one)

numerator: name of idiot
denominator: what the idiot received

it doesn't make sense.

kayla b***h acted like she was perfect. positive 100 out of 100. then she acted like i was the public enemy number one. negative 100 out of -100.

fair labor standards act makes it illegal for "for profit" businesses" (such as kayla's business) to receive volunteer labor. the punishment is 2 years in jail. that is the law. but kayla's slaves don't give a rat's ass what is legal or not.

while kayla's slaves have the nerve to micromanage me every time (they thought that) i did the slightest thing wrong.

for example, lisi had the nerve to correct me "yes please" instead of "yes", but i did not see lisi do that to any of her lil cronies. (double standard, not "discrimination).

socioeconomic discrimination

zero closure

kayla b***h and her slaves act like they "care" about a lot of lil dipshits, but all the lil dipshits they "care" about, are similar to them, and "care" about them vice versa.

kayla b***h should've gotten sent to jail a longfuck time ago. s**t i wanna tattle on her to the Department of Labor, but that would take a lot of time, cash, and energy, and the outcome is not guaranteed just b/c what she has been doing is "technically illegal".

holidays are particularly rough/tough/hard on my worthless corpse emotionally and socially b/c zero "friends". but presidents day is just one day, and only government offices were closed. library and some supermarkets closed. but whole foods open. and i usually do not do anything particular anyways.

Men. Look away now if you don't want to be offended.

My rant is:
Men! f**k off! Yet another male friend of mine on Twitter, who I've known for about a year, has started sending me creepy messages! He wants to know if I'm on Facebook or Instagram so he can get to know me better! I'm married, he's married, WTF. He seemed normal.

Why do men do this? I am on Twitter and that is where I like to be. I'm not on any other SM. I don't want to 'get to know people better on other SM.'

This is the saddest form of creepiness, when I think I have a nice, platonic friend, then suddenly he starts chatting me up! Go. Away. I think I'll stop talking to men online, it's too open to misunderstandings.