Is this too much to ask?

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I am from India.

I have been in an abusive relationship with my parents for a very long time now.
The problem is my mother is very harsh and critical and tends to blame me for most of my problems,my father doesnt seem to care about me
at all.She tried to make me feel guilty of many of my past failures and she told me I should be grateful for all things she did for me so I should
do this or that little thing for her.Those things were NOT little at all and involved me making considerable effort and spend time in doing things I dont like and even then she did not value my effort at all.Any attempt to convince her that I should not do it resulted in her using guilt/criticism/failure techniques manipulations.
I studied things which did not interest me at all and I never did well in any of those things I studied and she told me again and again about my failures and how I was not keeping upto her expectations.
I am interested in mathematics and I am an undergraduate mathematics student.But my mother does not value my interests at all.
The problem is that she is constantly judging me and worrying about my future.
I just recently read an article defining rights in a healthy relationship.

* The right to good will from the other.
* The right to emotional support.
* The right to be heard by the other and to be responded to with courtesy.
* The right to have your own view, even if your partner has a different view.
* The right to have your feelings and experience acknowledged as real.
* The right to receive a sincere apology for any jokes you may find offensive.
* The right to clear and informative answers to questions that concern what is legitimately your business.
* The right to live free from accusation and blame.
* The right to live free from criticism, judgement, put-downs or ridicule.
* The right to have your work and your interests spoken of with respect.
* The right to encouragement.
* The right to live free from emotional and physical threat.
* The right to live free from angry outburst and rage.
* The right to be called by no name that devalues you.
* The right to be respectfully asked rather than ordered.



I would like to know the opinion of other community members if ALL OF these are reasonable to expect in a relationship?
I think a relationship satisfying all the above conditions should be very rare.
I have self esteem issues and mild social anxiety.I feel guilty to blame my parents although I get very angry at them often for no obvious reason.
Maybe I never experienced what being in a healthy relationship feels like(I am a loner.).I would like to know what people think is reasonable to expect from a normal relationship.

I had a mother like yours. She literally told me flat out that I was not allowed to have an opinion that differed from hers. She said I never appreciated her and that I should be greatful that she never burned me with cigarrettes like some parents do. Your relationship with your parents is unhealthy but (in my opinion) somewhat typical. Parents always want their kids to be what they (the parents)want them to be instead of respecting what the individual wants for his own life. I doubt you will ever get them to change, unfortunately.

Secondly, the criteria listed there does seem somewhat unreasonable. Most of the things listed there are reasonable but here is where I have the issue:

I highly doubt that anyone has ever had a relationship where they didn't get mad at eachother ever. When people get mad, sometimes things like name-calling and accusations come in to play. This is to be expected, imo. It is only if it is very severe that it becomes unreasonable. Where everything is your fault and you're always a b*tch/jerk/assh*le etc. (my ex husband was like this to me). That's when it becomes a bad relationship. Plus emotional/physical abuse should never happen (my ex husband again).

You aren't going to agree all the time and to be free from "judgement" to me indicates that your partner will just lie to you if you are doing something he/she thinks is wrong. You can't help but judge something that you think is wrong; that's what thinking it's wrong means. I'd rather know that I'm being judged than "have the right" to not be. Of course, the final desicision of what you are to do should be yours and your partner should respect that and not belittle or ridicule you for it.

simply put
I think the list is reasonable and should be expected of both partners in a relationship. for that matter, even in a non-relationship.

My mum used to be a bit like that. but I guess you just got to think that that's the way she has probably been brought up when she was younger. Just concentrate on the future and hopefully you will do well and can move away all of the people that has been causing you pain. No matter how much your parents tell you you're worthless, just think about the all good qualities you have within you. They have no rights to put you down like that. One day you gotta prove them all wrong. prove that you aren't a failure

Sorry for being a little off-topic.

Do you live in India, or in another country?