OOM's got a lot of s**t going on

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I'm not upset about it, I simply put it here because it's all just drama. It's all true though. OK, here's whats been going on with me.

My boys both moved out again. Thank God for that! My youngest daughter graduated. Yay, I'm not as sad as I was the other day about that. Our car died and we can't get a new one because my SIL won't come off my husbands trust money that he gets when his mother dies, so we can get another one AND pay off the power company their 4 large for this dent he put in their truck when he totaled our van last year while trying to prove to me that he could see through a frozen over window and I was just stupid, so they will release his license. That means he's living at the lake with his mother and brother most of the week and getting a ride cause there is no work in town. My BIL has two actual ho's living there with him though, and has been dabbling in insurance fraud and got busted at it by my SIL and this may get good soon. She wouldn't believe me when I warned her about that first thing.

Now that the boys are out I have a spare bedroom which my younger daughters best friend for years has moved in to. This child is trans, and I've known her as female for years but I'm trying to respect her wishes and use male pronouns. His mother isn't ok with the gay thing, hence his living here. He's honestly the most polite of all my kids friends, and actually OFFERS TO HELP with the housework. I'm unsure what to do when that happens. It's never happened to me before.

Remember the crazy b***h who was one of my best friends in high school but married my ex husband after cheating with him while I was married to him? I got over that since I ended up with the better husband and we remained friends and she went nuts a few years back when he killed that gang member who was staying with them in their house and ruined her new white carpet and I went and got her and kept her here with me and got her off drugs and fixed her hair and bought her clothes and took her to her first high school bf. That went well until recently, when he violated parole and went away. Now she's WAY f*****g NUTS again. All the brothers in that family I married into are in prison. The youngest one wrote to me an gave me her number and I've been keeping in touch with him on his secret FB page that he runs FROM PRISON on his smartphone which I have no idea where he hides it, but it's not THERE because I asked. Anyway, the three brothers and her bf voted and decided that I have to take care of her till one of them gets out. Oh hell no. No, no, no and no. I'll give emotional support. I'll visit. But I ain't dragging her crazy ass back here from Mississippi again. She scared my kids when she was here and that's VERY hard to do.

I've been laying out because there is no stand up bed in town, so my tan is coming along nicely. I've watched Sons of Anarchy, Mob Wives, and now am watching the Sopranos. I also got into a teen drama called Switched at Birth.

We might get cable.

I haven't drank since my mother died. I had that bad drinking problem before, but now I don't need to drink. I think that says something more about my mother than it does about me. Oh well.

Thats whats up with me. Whats up with you?

Oh, my hooker friend is in jail for violating her probation, and my heroin junkie friend is going to the methadone clinic every day now but still with the douchebag skinhead but she's getting tired of him.

So, whats going on with you?

If you really want to know, I offered to help my daughter with the steps to apply for a job, she would finish preparing the apply by herself, she said. I said ,any question you have, you can ask. Well, again she didn't do that.

The sheep still wearing their wool, another week of delay?
We have this water-thing (the dictionairy/translation function of the net is vanishing) ppl take the water there for their watering can, the community had the well-thought idea to put weedkiller on the surrounding grass, then the new neighbor cut the grass while blazing the cut grass in the bassins, now it got all dirty and toxic, I took out the grass but the opening fonction to let the water go had been cemented.
(Good work again!, our drinking water had become undrinkable, thanks eu-regulations, the public tap had been closed for works and never reopened since, and now free watering-water got spoiled)'All together now!'(quote)

LOL...My life is BORRRINGG compared to yours!

All I have is a toothache

And lots of debt.

And I lost my second job which was helping me pay off that debt.

I'm just living day to day.

No Kerouac/Ginsberg/Joyce-like epic like yours!

But I'm okay with it, though I wish I had your talent!

Oh, my life is boring too. I just have a lot of s**t going on that can be kind of different from what I would like to have going on. I've always had lots of wierd s**t happen so I'm used to it, it's not interesting to me, and I promise it wouldn't be to you either if you lived it like I do lol.

I'm sorry about the job and the debt. I feel ya there. I struggle every week to pay what I gotta pay and rob Peter to pay Paul. With the one income it's hard, and there's no work here in town for me and I wouldn't have a way to get to the city if I did find a job there. Plus minimum wage wouldn't pay the gas. I have a few Hoodoo clients which brings in some money but not that much, so it sucks. You are lucky though, living in the city and having lots of options around, even though they may not be the ones you want. Have you considered a temp agency? I don't know about up there, but down here temp agencies have tons of stuff, especially for guys. Construction cleanup and helpers is one thing you can do without a specific trade skill, and they can usually get you on the same day for something like that. I don't know what you do for a living normally, so that may be way below something you would be qualified to do, but they have temp agencies for white collar work too that you might want to check with. Now, both my boys found excellent jobs for their education level and experiences (one has a GED and several construction trade skills and one doesn't have a GED or any legitimate work skills or experience). They both work at factories that make car parts. The younger one who just turned 20 and who I suspect has AS and is also deaf on one side but you can't tell it, has been at his company for a year now and is making about 16 an hour by now. When he gets hired on by the company instead of just being a temp he will make more and get benefits. All he does is work on a line. The other one is doing the same thing at a different place and making serious bank there, more starting salary and tons of OT and all he does is push two buttons. It's a bit dangerous because of the really sharp metal and he has to wear even more than the shoes, hardhat, glasses and gloves, he's gotta wear kevlar sleeves and a vest in case he gets hit with something but he's enjoying it. He was afraid he would get bored at line work because he's the kid that's got the 152 IQ but no patience to do anything with it, but he's happy. Have you thought about calling an agency to find part time temp work or even full time better work? Again, I don't know what you do and I'm assuming you probably have a better job than them and are probably white collar, but a temp place can find you something, even if it's just a night watchman job.

Toothaches suck. I recently had a tooth pulled because a filling from decades ago came out and then I broke the rest of the tooth accidentally. A molar too. It was $200 with the gas, but it was worth it. I had to do it, even though I didn't have the money to spare. Do you have dental insurance?

Thanks for the compliment about my writing. On here I basically write the way I speak. Run on sentences, bad grammar, no structure, sometimes not much sense at all, but I used to write for a living, as I've mentioned. I could probably do it again and think about it sometimes but I don't want to. I had no experience when I started doing it, just talked my way into the job because I wanted to try it, the same way I did for quite a few jobs I wanted to try. The same with the other jobs like that, after doing it for a while the new wore off and I had proven to myself I could do it, so I didn't want to anymore. I'd love to work for our weekly "newspaper" down here, but they won't hire me. It's a horror show to read, unless your idea of journalism is a middle school newsletter. There is one writer now, and she can't even write a basic news article. They used to have two but the guy who wrote sports (high school ball, hunting, etc) and the one op-ed column that isn't by a preacher finally crossed the line about something and threw a fit and quit when he was disagreed with one time too many. I never cared for him, he was arrogant as hell because he had one semester of junior college and called himself a liberal because he doesn't think religion should be forced on others, so he walked around this small, backasswoods town in his too small fedora with his nose in the air and went around correcting everybody whenever they said anything at all he didn't care for, but there was entertainment in that for some of us because he couldn't spout his pseudointellectual BS without misusing at least one word and dropping malaprops everywhere. But they won't hire me, I don't go to church and nobody here much likes me. Ability means nothing in this town, popularity and church affiliation does. Oh well. Thank you though. I'd like to really get an idea and motivation to sit down and put words on paper for longer than twenty minutes at a stretch and produce something of some entertainment value, but so far my creative outlet is limited to crocheting afghans while watching Netflix. What are ya gonna do, ya know?

Also, if I'm not mistaken you are in NYC and I'd imagine it's pretty much impossible to have a boring life there unless you want one. I mean you have a naked cowboy for God's sakes, and thats probably not even the weirdest thing to go see. I'd love to visit NYC sometime, but I'd probably get killed within the hour because I doubt I'd do well with that whole rudeness thing. I didn't do well with it when we lived in DC, and I'm sure it's probably much worse up there. All I have to do is open my mouth and when they hear that syrupy drawl they will immediately assume I'm about to take my shoes off and have sex with a first cousin, so they will more than likely do what everybody did in DC and talk to me as if I had the mental capacity of a character in a Jeff Foxworthy joke, which would just piss me off. But I'd like to see Little Italy and Chinatown and the nice apartments on Park Avenue and walk around and see what the differences in the boroughs are and ride the subway. I don't know that I could live there though, not now. I've been in the country too long and I couldn't ever live in an apartment again. Also, everything is too expensive. There is a four bedroom house for rent in my neighborhood here, which is one of the nice ones with new houses, and it's $700 a month which is a lot for rent down here, and I hear apartments there are more than that! No f*****g way. The most I ever paid in Bham was $400 a month for an apartment and that was in Vestavia, which was a good area, but that was decades ago, I'm sure it's more now. You can get by for much less than that in this town. If you are willing to go all trashy, you can rent a trailer on some land for about $200. That's an actual 3br doublewide, although nothing new, but still it's cheap. I'm not willing to live in a trailer either, we have too many tornadoes. Also, cigarettes are only 3.97 a pack in my town and I hear they are almost 10 up there. I couldn't afford to smoke so I'd probably end up on some kind of tri-state killing spree lol.

So what kind of job are you looking for? Can you give a temp place a shot until you find something else?

Lol....I've tried everything...including temp places. No dice. It's because of the online/resume business. If I could just walk in and take tests, I'd get hired right away.

There's very little factory-type work in the NYC area. Most of it is in Jersey. You have to pay tolls to drive to and from Jersey. It more than offsets the cheaper cost of gas in Jersey.

LOL...despite your denials, I can see that you enjoy, intrinsically, stream-of-consciousness writing.

No, you'd do fine in NYC. They wouldn't think you screw your first cousin. You should visit... I'm not a rude guy. You would see NYC in a new light.

I live about 12 miles from Manhattan, though within NYC. It's very much like the suburbs of a place like Atlanta, and probably Bham. I don't live in the truly urban area.

Cost of living sucks here, and in most of the Northeast.

NYers are only rude if they must catch a train/bus. I'm a "hello" kind of guy. Very Southern in that sense. People don't usually say "hey" for reasons of self-preservation--not because of pure "rudeness."

There might have been a great cultural divide/chasm between southerners and NYers in the old days--not so now. I don't think the Faulkner South has disappeared--but I believe it's been modified by more outside influence. In fact, you'll hear the southern accent in Manhattan owing to the large amount of migrants from the South. The NYC accent has virtually disappeared from Manhattan. You'll find it in the Outer Boroughs and out on Long Island.

There's no such thing as "trailer parks" in the NY City area. You might find some in Suffolk County--maybe 50 miles to the east. Or 50 miles in any direction. Decent cost of living starts in Pennsylvania. You could get a decent house in a place like Scranton, PA for like $80,000. It's a 2.5 hour commute to NYC, though. The bus is expensive. Very, very few companies have parking in Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, and The Bronx. Out on Long Island, there's parking, though.

The cost of buying a house in town here varies greatly. It can be pretty high dollar for the house, and house payments can be high because of that but renting is usually pretty low, mainly because the owner actually owns the place outright and doesn't need the rent to meet a mortgage. My house cost $165K. The house in B'ham that was our anniversary gift that my in laws bought us cost then $85K, but when we moved it was sold and my MIL made up the difference here for this one. I don't know why it cost so much more out here, except that this house was built around 95 maybe, and the one in Bham was built around 1940. The one in Bham was built better too, and it was in an area that was just as nice. It was in Forest Park and that's a good neighborhood. Right next to Mountain Brook and Crestline. Mtn Brook is where Natalie Holloway lived - she's that girl who got killed in Aruba. Also it's where Courtney Cox is from. Forest Park is where the lady lived in "Fried Green Tomatoes". Not where the cafe was, that was (and is) in Irondale, but it's where the modern day lady in the book/movie lived.

On the other side of Forest Park is Avondale, which is the opposite of Mountain Brook. It's pretty close to an inner city type neighborhood. We lived near the Avondale line, but still in a very nice area.

Now, even though my house was 165, and the house that is being rented out on my street was about that much too, it's owned outright so no mortgage. Oddly enough, on the next block over is a house for sale for 40K, which is really nice too, but built in the 50's. It's one of those cottage style houses that were popular then. I like it but it's much smaller than this one. 3 BR, smaller rooms, etc. It's on about a half acre so not all that big a yard either. That house has character, this one does not. This one is a cookie cutter house on a street of houses that look very similar to each other. Tract housing I guess it would be called. I hate that crap. I didn't get a voice in choosing it when we moved - lots was going on and I'm not going into it here because I'll just get in a worse mood than I'm already in tonight if I do.

I'm certainly very grateful for it, so don't get me wrong, and I'm not complaining about it. I would just have picked a different one if I had been even asked my opinion. We have two acres with a fenced back yard. The house itself is one story but is 4 bedrooms, 3 full baths, livingroom, formal diningroom, eat in kitchen, den with fireplace and French door to the deck out back, laundry room, and foyer. The 4th bedroom used to be the attached two car garage that had the door coming into the laundry room, but we had it renovated when my mother made sure we knew she was living with us. After she moved out it became my oldest son's room and now it's my oldest daughter's and her fiance's. It's perfect for something like that because it's like an apartment. A two car garage is pretty big for a room, and it's got it's own door to the outside, it's own full bath, a walk in closet, a storage room and the way it's built there is a separate sleeping area and sitting area even though there are no walls or doors for that. It's like having their own place. But, that's a lot for 165K in many areas, although that's a lot of money to live in the middle of f*****g nowhere. I'm smack dab in between the old Dairy Queen which is about a half mile down the hill and Hank William's Jr's taxidermist which is about a mile in the other direction, and that place is HUGE! I have never seen a taxidermist place that size. It's about the size of a big grocery store. I've never been in though. (Yes, I'm a Jeff Foxworthy joke, I do know a famous taxidermist)

I'm in a sh***y mood tonight and just don't know why. I got in an even worse one with my younger ex BIL who is in prison in Mississippi (same as my ex, but not the same prison - and also not to be confused with my other ex BIL who is the older one and who is in prison about two miles from my house, here in town) texted me today TELLING ME that Anne (not her real name) who is my high school friend who married my ex after me and went nuts was on her way from Miss to pick me up and carry me back tonight so I could go help her with s**t at the courthouse about some property s**t tomorrow. Oh no she was not! He doesn't TELL ME what I'm going to do without asking me! I don't know who he thinks he is but I set him straight right fast. She didn't even leave the house after he told her to come get me because she asked if he had cleared it with me and he told her "I'll take care of OOM, just go". She said she decided to sit home and wait to watch the fireworks. Oh there were fireworks. I told him off in no uncertain terms. He wouldn't even answer his phone when I called, he kept it to text. I let him know right fast that he does not make plans for me without asking me about them first unless he's in the hospital or the funeral home and doing something that f*****g rude is a good way to get himself there. Then after a few more texts where I yelled at him about it he texted me back and called me a b***h and I told him "You're GD right I'm a b***h, but I'm not YOUR b***h so don't be talking to me like I am, b***h!" and then I laid on the guilt. Telling him that I know he wasn't raised to be inconsiderate and that I know he's not that kind of boy and that he knows better than to act that way, and went on to lay on more guilt until he not only apologized, which of course he had to anyway for doing that and calling me a b***h on top of it, but he actually felt bad about what he did. I sent Anne the copies of the texts, which she really enjoyed because she's not feeling well today either. So, that put me in a REALLY foul mood tonight.

Plus, it's my oldest son's b'day and even though I called him to wish him happy b'day and left a message, he couldn't be bothered to call me back. Why should he? I'm just his mother, I didn't have a thing to do with his b'day which he spent enjoying with his gf who cooked him the recipes that I sent her to cook for him. Of course not. Why would he want to call his mother on his birthday anyway? I had planned on a nice gift for him but I think he may have blown that and now might just get a tshirt or something. I still haven't gotten my younger son a gift for his bday which was in March, and I think I'm going to just add some extra $$ to his and get him that nice horn necklace that he wants and get the ungrateful son a Dixie Outfitters shirt. He was here for his bday and had the dinner I made him and the dessert his sister made him.

Maybe it's the weather too. It's all cloudy and crap so the pressure is probably up or something. Plus, menopause hormones are going on too, which is probably the main reason for the whole thing. I also got ticked at the gf of the kid who is staying here with us now because she called my cobbler dry. Doesn't even really know me and said "It's a little dry, not how my mom makes it" when I gave her a dish of peach cobbler, which she asked for in the first place. Everybody froze when she said that. You don't do that. You don't ask for dessert from a lady you barely know, whose house you are staying in with your gf who happens to be living there, and then say it's dry! The kid who lives here, the trans girl, she felt so bad and kept apologizing and I told her there was no reason for that at all, she didn't do anything wrong and owes me no apology, she can't help it if her gf was raised by wolves. I told the rude girl that she didn't have to eat it and took the bowl back. My younger daughter, who is best friends with the girl who is living here had to bite her lips to keep from laughing and leave the room. That gf really is rude though. I've about had it with rudeness today. Also, I've never made a dry peach cobbler in my life! Maybe she's confusing cobbler with pie or something, but it was juicy and wonderful!

I'm just all in a state tonight. I was in such a good mood a couple days ago too. If this happened at any other time than menopause, these mood swings would be bipolar s**t lol. However, I am having the hot flashes and the night sweats and the headaches and insomnia along with them and while I've had them for close to a year now, since I got really irregular, they are getting worse. It's all part of it though. I'll just remind myself that this probably means it's almost over with. I've just been very emotional for the past day or two too. I NEVER cry, but I'm just on the verge of it all the time. I don't have any reason to either, but anything will set it off. I haven't cried, but I've been feeling like I want to though. It's pretty much classic change of life s**t. Maybe my husband should be happy he's having to stay at his mom's house right now lol.

As for jobs, maybe if you called those places on the phone and then told them you don't have internet when they tell you to get online to fill something out, then you could get around having to do that. Or just show up and ask to fill out an application? My boys had to fill theirs out online to get the jobs they have but it was just an application and all. Then they called and made an appointment for an interview, did that, managed a drug test, and then kept calling every few days until they got put to work.

When my husband is out of work I get the phone book out and call all the electrical contractors and ask if they are hiring, tell them about his experience and then set up appointments for him to come in to talk to them. I can usually find him a job within a day or so doing that. Doing it that way still worked a couple years back, so maybe if you just call around to some places you'd like to work.

Freakin' Amazon isn't working well tonight. It's stopping and loading every 30 seconds, and Netflix doesn't have anything on there I want to see, so I got the laptop out and got online. Before that I was just laying here in the dark on the couch all pissed off, trying to go to sleep but not able to.

So, as you can tell I'm all over the place tonight. I can't remember things well right now, my moods are all over the place too, I jump from thinking about one thing to another to another, I have absolutely no energy at all, can't really sleep and on top of all that, at 51, smack in the middle of the change, my face is all broke out again. That's how I really know this mental crap is from the menopause, I have the complexion of a 15 year old again. I should not have to put toothpaste on my face at my age! I should be sticking to night cream and Noxema and crap. Laying out had been clearing it up, but it's been too cloudy lately to do that so it's breaking out worse again. Of course I could just call the doctor and go up there tomorrow and get some hormones, but during the day when I should call to make the appointment I always forget about doing it. I think I'll just text his wife (they live two houses up and she's a good friend of mine - we talk a few times a week) right now and leave her a message for in the morning and tell her to tell him to tell his secretary to make me an appointment and call me with it cause I need hormones. We have talked about it several times, hormones and all. She keeps telling me to go but I keep forgetting. She agreed that all this s**t is classic menopause.

Maybe I'll just look around here a bit and then surf around online and try to find something to put me in a better mood. That would be easy to do if it was an actual mood and not hormone caused craziness. I can see why some ladies feel like they are going batshit crazy during the change. I'm honestly surprised I haven't just flat out cussed somebody out who didn't deserve it lately. I'm in that bad a mood. Luckily I've been able to keep it limited to people who do deserve it.

So, that's about it for now. Maybe I'll check out FB. I haven't been on there in a few days. Then again, I'll probably get pissed off at some post about politics or religion and it'll just put me in a worse mood cause as some of ya'll know who are on my FB, I'll argue that until the cows come home. Or maybe I'll get on YouTube and watch some hair and makeup tutorials and play with my hair and makeup. That usually puts me in a happier mood. Maybe I'll braid my older daughter's hair. I found a YouTube channel that has hundreds of different types of braids and tutorials on them. She's always up till almost dawn now. BTW, she got her internship today. She's doing it at some bakery owned by a German lady. She starts in a couple weeks.

What my wife does, when she's in a bad mood:

She puts on the Disney Channel. She's a pretty old person--but she still likes watching those kid shows!

Yep...I'll probably have to start getting more aggressive in this job thing (when there is a phone number available--maybe 1 out of 20 job ads have phone numbers!)