How do I get through this...

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So I was born with a heightened fight-or-flight response.
Or at least that's what I've spent my whole life trying to figure out, and it's the conclusion, 'basically'.
The stress from it has been slowly killing me, wrapping it's hand around my mouth, making me regret everything I say as if there is no forgiveness. Isolating me, causing any social problems I have.

Well, they say disease starts in the gut and/or in your mother's gut, in your great-great-grandfather's decision to manufacture chocolate bars, or some other random domino in the chain of events in your genetic life that leads up to your current feeling of s**t.

So I find I've had autoimmune disease (triggered by stress and creator of stress) for a while. The eczema, the thyroid, who knows what else... Funny side effect to decreased thyroid function is even further depression and anxiety, since the thyroid is in charge of your body 'feeling alive'. And once your body starts attacking one thing, apparently that makes it attack everything else. My self esteem says, 'yes, that's quite appropriate for me to have'.

There is a long list of foods that you should not eat if you have an autoimmune problem. In addition to these foods, you should not eat any food you have a sensitivity to. Well, ok... BUT then I hear that eating foods while experiencing leaky gut/auto immune problems creates sensitivities to those foods that you are eating. So you remove those foods but eventually make more sensitivity to something else?! AND, supposedly once you are sensitive to a food, you always will be. There's no cure for autoimmune disease. Is it just me, or does that sound like a hopeless situation?

It makes me feel really depressed, and I now have anxiety over all of the "healthy" foods I eat. Even though part of me still says, 'well, do the best you can. Maybe you will heal anyway. Try to live your life.'

But I have no motivation now. The ONLY thought that makes me feel like I can take on anything is the thought of having someone special to do everything with/for.

There's ONE guy I like, but he is very different from me. And no, of course I don't talk to him in person.. haha.
He lives far away... I shouldn't like him. :\ He's attracted to me and we've been talking for months, but he doesn't SEEM interested in me.
All the same, I feel I would have the motivation/desire/energy to get a job, do whatever, if he just said he'd want to try to make things work with me. Even knowing it could easily not work out.


I'm not sure what to do. :\ How do I carry on?